Magician Lord
  This side-scrolling adventure stars Elta, a magician who can magically transform into a knight, ninja, samurai, and other unrelated professions in his battle against demons. Though the gameplay, graphics, character and level design are all fairly good in this game, it's best known for its horrible translation. More on that in a moment. Each level ends with two battles: one against a "gaurdian", and one against a big boss. There are seven normal stages and a final eighth stage consisting of all seven previous gaurdians and the last boss.
  Your nemesis is the nefarious Az Atorse, who will taunt you at the end of every level with some of the silliest broken english in video game history. On top of being poorly worded, his voice is so deadpan it sounds more like he's hosting a game of bingo than threatening to conquer the universe. Don't take my word for it, though...just listen to these voice clips!
Your are very dangerous. Be dead down here!
You, persistent guy. But your life ends right now!
Come on, nice guy! But your life is mine very soon!
That power is powerless in our presence!
What imprudence, you human being! But your time ends now
Minor Enemies (info on mouseover)
The skull soldier things are the first and most common things you face.
These big, mean guys have telescopic arms.
These rare demons can fly and shoot.
Skull soldier things appear out of nowhere.
These heads are stage four's version of the birds and skulls.
Spheres with eyes on either side that fire bullets. Spheres with eyes on either side that fire bullets. Evil floating fish that spit tinier fish.
These flying skulls burst into flame before shooting.
Weak flying birds that spit bullets. Every stage has something similar. These flying skulls burst into flame before shooting. Evil floating fish that spit tinier fish.
Awesome worm-creatures who fling babies from their stomachs! Awesome worm-creatures who fling babies from their stomachs!
Lurching doll-like zombies who travel in packs.
Lurching doll-like zombies who travel in packs.
The poor guys, they don't have legs. I'm afraid he doesn't like you.
My favorites! They don't move, but they spit guided eyeballs. They don't really care. Look how happy they are.
Awesome worm-creatures who fling babies from their stomachs!
Lurching doll-like zombies who travel in packs. Lurching doll-like zombies who travel in packs.
Not an enemy, but a guided projectile belong to those -->
These angel-winged insectoids hover, teleport and fire spheres.
Weird, immobile electric birds. Weird, immobile electric birds. These angel-winged insectoids hover, teleport and throw spheres.
Flies far off in the background, then dashes at you. Very tough.
Here's a weird, immobile electric bird blocking you.
Hopping red demons.
Hopping red demons.
Little guns mounted to the floors. Fire beams.
Nasty doggies on level six. They jump. Look out!!! These don't move, and spit multiple bullets.
These grow faces to spit stuff. These grow faces to spit stuff.
Some of them dress in blue. I have very little to say. Oh, no!
Sword-girls. They hit you.
They gots claws and stuff.
Look out!
Aw, she's lickin herself.
These catgirls are really mean.
Noteworthy enemies:
  This creepy floating brain-spirit appears when your timer runs out in any stage. It moves slowly, but cannot be harmed and will relentlessly pursue you through all walls and obstacles.
  The sixth stage is completely overrun with adorable little frogs! They're harmless, but some will transform unexpectedly into pike-wielding frogmen.
Levels, bosses and gaurdians.
The seven guardians and the emblems present during their respective battles.
Stage one: Dale of Evil Gods
  The first guardian is also the simplest. A skull headed warrior with an impenetrable shield and a nasty sword.
  The boss of the "Dale" is an immobile stone face. Eventually it breaks away to reveal this wonderfully gross little fire-breathing demon head.
Stage two: To the Evil Mine
  Guardian number two dashes ultra-fast from one end of the screen to the other. Nothing too exciting here, either.
  The "Evil Mine" boss appears to be a ball of pulsating roots. It attacks by firing barbed needles and with floating green spheres.
Stage three: Highway Leading to a Foreign Space
  The guardian of this slimy, living level of bones and body organs is a leaping, embryonic fish-faced demon. Adorable.
  Also adorable is this level's boss, a sort of fetal dragon-worm that stretches out its neck to either fire an energy beam or drop fireballs from its head. The entire battle takes place inside a giant mouth, which periodically sprouts fangs and attempts to crush you.
Stage four: Castle of Devils
  The legless, floating warlock of stage four is one of the more interesting guardians. He flies around the screen, dropping nasty red mutants in groups of three.
  A cool-looking but dull and very easy boss, the demon hound jumps from one side of the screen to the other and inflates its back just before spewing deadly energy. By standing as close to this boss as you can, you will never get hit.
Stage five: Anderground Passage of Terror
  The guardian of the "anderground" is a burly blue knight who throws the head of his axe as a boomerang.
  The anderground boss is a column of eyeballs that spit large, bouncing bubbles. Only the central eye can be harmed, and is usually shielded not only by its own lids but by the constant stream of bubbles getting in the way of your shots.
Stage six: Corridor Leading to Hell
  This level's guardian is the only female (as far as I know) and stands behind a shield throwing bola-looking blasts as you're attacked by two sword women (see enemies). She giggles every time she shoots.
  ...Can't say you saw it coming. The boss here is a giant, severed demon arm suspended from the ceiling. It fires beams from the orb it holds and a snake-like mouth emerges from its stump to spit crawling, green spores. When the lower mouth is destroyed a smaller bullet-spitting mouth appears in the bicep.
Stage seven: Gal Agiese
  I don't know what the stage name means, but the guardian of this giant castle is a black knight who charges you with a very big sword.
  This boss is Az Atorse in the form of some surreal demon. He leaps at throws spheres of energy that burst apart, then draw back together.
Stage eight: God of Destruction Reincarnates
  The final stage is nothing but a battle against all seven guardians followed by a battle against this....thing... which flies around shooting spikes and releasing groups of wriggling blue sperm (it's true, they just don't resemble anything else) that chase you. Kill the spiky sac part and the "claw" will become surrounded by green spheres. Kill the spheres to defeat this thingy once and for all. It's supposed to be Atorse's ghost or something or other.