>Give the Spleen Malaria

Well, what do you know. Malaria. I guess you're theoretically almost marginally not quite as useless as you almost entirely are. I'd even briefly entertain the possibility of expressing some sort of gratitude if I didn't know this would benefit you so much more than the paltry satisfaction I can glean from it.

Trust me, that's the kindest thing I've ever had to say about anything. Really. You're officially the least intolerable thing I've ever had the displeasure to endure exchanging trite vapidities with. You should be proud that literally everything else is actually more terrible than you are, it's a very impressive distinc-

...tion. I suppose I should at least inform you that it will take the nurse approximately one and a half seconds to get here once I press the call button. I'll give you a few bonus seconds to hide in another room, if only so I don't get any of your spinal fluids splattered on me should she catch you here. If they smell anything like the rest of you it might even negate the entertainment value.

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