This vast space houses an assortment of bleeping, warbling machinery. More little molecule guys, or whatever they are, scurry from one curious electronic readout to the next, burbling incoherently. A bubbling pit of swirling chemicals dominates the center of the room, reeking like a long expired jar of pickles.
Dr. E.M. Balmer:
Hyde! Status update!
Hyde! Status update!
Miss Hyde:
Sawry bawss, we still can't get a bearin' on it.
Sawry bawss, we still can't get a bearin' on it.
Dr. E.M. Balmer:
BLAST! It could be anywhere!
BLAST! It could be anywhere!
YOU:
...Uh...what could be "anywhere?"
...Uh...what could be "anywhere?"
Dr. E.M. Balmer:
Oh, well... usually our job goes quite smoothly; we phase in, assess the active biota spectrum, formulate a precise decontamination mixture, purge all bioforms and submit the vessel for its final analysis by the Slab Council.
Unfortunately, ever since you-sorry-these biovessels began pouring and POURING in, a veritable avalanche of inert biomass flooding the morgue to its near bursting po-
Oh, well... usually our job goes quite smoothly; we phase in, assess the active biota spectrum, formulate a precise decontamination mixture, purge all bioforms and submit the vessel for its final analysis by the Slab Council.
Unfortunately, ever since you-sorry-these biovessels began pouring and POURING in, a veritable avalanche of inert biomass flooding the morgue to its near bursting po-
YOU:
I GET IT.
I GET IT.
Dr. E.M. Balmer:
Aherm! Yes! Well, this recent influx has begun to present...difficulties. Anomalies. Contaminants that should not be compatible with biomatter of this nature. We're detecting quasimaterial, paraconceptual and even antivibrational wavelengths as deep as the sub-seething in some cases, and our current paradox may even carry traces of hose warblation.
Aherm! Yes! Well, this recent influx has begun to present...difficulties. Anomalies. Contaminants that should not be compatible with biomatter of this nature. We're detecting quasimaterial, paraconceptual and even antivibrational wavelengths as deep as the sub-seething in some cases, and our current paradox may even carry traces of hose warblation.
YOU:
I have no idea what any of that means.
I have no idea what any of that means.
Dr. E.M. Balmer:
It means there is a bad thing polluting this environment, madam. A bad thing so contrary to the matter-law that you would be familiar with, it could very well thrive under conventional decontamination procedures, unless of course we can correctly identify a sample and adapt our formulation. One miscalculation, one pseudoprotein away from perfection, and this entire vessel could undergo a Category D Extrapaisley Reconfiguration Event!
The chaos! The exquisite madness! I'm simply swooning with UNIMAGINABLE terror! Mmmm....yesss....
It means there is a bad thing polluting this environment, madam. A bad thing so contrary to the matter-law that you would be familiar with, it could very well thrive under conventional decontamination procedures, unless of course we can correctly identify a sample and adapt our formulation. One miscalculation, one pseudoprotein away from perfection, and this entire vessel could undergo a Category D Extrapaisley Reconfiguration Event!
The chaos! The exquisite madness! I'm simply swooning with UNIMAGINABLE terror! Mmmm....yesss....
YOU:
...uh...k.......
...So you don't know what this thing is, or where it is, but you know it's here somewhere and you know it could be a huge liability.
...uh...k.......
...So you don't know what this thing is, or where it is, but you know it's here somewhere and you know it could be a huge liability.
Dr. E.M. Balmer:
Hmph. To phrase it so unpoetically, yes.
Hmph. To phrase it so unpoetically, yes.
YOU:
So...how long is this going to take, exactly?
So...how long is this going to take, exactly?
Dr. E.M. Balmer:
Hmm, well...clean up that rather unsavory diet of yours and you could easily remain biofunctional by the time our algorithm coordinates a precise lock...then again, maybe there's another one of you things roaming about? The next generation or so could help us retrie-
Hmm, well...clean up that rather unsavory diet of yours and you could easily remain biofunctional by the time our algorithm coordinates a precise lock...then again, maybe there's another one of you things roaming about? The next generation or so could help us retrie-
YOU:
.....WHAT!?!
.....WHAT!?!
Dr. E.M. Balmer:
WELL! There's certainly no need to shout!...there is another possibility...it's a long shot, but I suppose if you're willing to risk grisly destruction at the slavering maws of horrendous-
WELL! There's certainly no need to shout!...there is another possibility...it's a long shot, but I suppose if you're willing to risk grisly destruction at the slavering maws of horrendous-
YOU:
*Sigh.* Just point me in a general direction.
*Sigh.* Just point me in a general direction.
