For a fleeting moment, reality just sort of suddenly catches up to you. Here you are, in a bar made of mildew, in what seems to be a hollowed-out vitamin tablet, in what you know is your own corpse, in an alien morgue in a hospital run by monsters, and you're getting pulled into a conversation with a protozoa in a very cheap looking hat. You're still bleeding slightly from where a giant, talking bandage recently stabbed you with a throwing star made of what was probably your own blood.
YOU:
Fine.
This is all totally fine.
I'm fine.
It's all going to turn out fine.
.....At least tell me who you are first.
Fine.
This is all totally fine.
I'm fine.
It's all going to turn out fine.
.....At least tell me who you are first.
???:
Right, sorry, call me Trichia. I'm something of a...vesselhopper. Yeah. I like to take in the scenery before it's just a bit too overrun with smelly yuppies and flamwapples, know what I mean?
Right, sorry, call me Trichia. I'm something of a...vesselhopper. Yeah. I like to take in the scenery before it's just a bit too overrun with smelly yuppies and flamwapples, know what I mean?
YOU:
I don't really want to, no...but I probably need to. What do you know about this biovessel sterilizing or whatever it is?
I don't really want to, no...but I probably need to. What do you know about this biovessel sterilizing or whatever it is?
TRICHIA:
It's just like the old rustbucket says. They clear out the worms and the rot and slow the entropy to a crawl. Conceptual nodes like you and I, we leave these things littered all over the range. Some people can get a lot of use out of 'em. So can the quasi and pseudo-people, not to mention the inanimites and void scramblings.
It's just like the old rustbucket says. They clear out the worms and the rot and slow the entropy to a crawl. Conceptual nodes like you and I, we leave these things littered all over the range. Some people can get a lot of use out of 'em. So can the quasi and pseudo-people, not to mention the inanimites and void scramblings.
YOU:
Rustbucket...you mean Balmer?
Rustbucket...you mean Balmer?
TRICHIA:
YIKES, not so loud! If these yokels knew you were in cahoots with brine brain, even that bleeding-heart doctor would strip your gels and leave you for the Furlers. They don't know a sweet deal when they see one.
YIKES, not so loud! If these yokels knew you were in cahoots with brine brain, even that bleeding-heart doctor would strip your gels and leave you for the Furlers. They don't know a sweet deal when they see one.
YOU:
...Sweet deal?
...Sweet deal?
TRICHIA:
Sure! Free ticket to an off-concept, self-contained perpetual manifestation preserve, royalties for tourism...sure beats whiping themselves out once they've metabolized everything left of this place. You know how long a vessel like yours stays in one piece on its own? Biota running wild? Not a pretty sight.
Sure! Free ticket to an off-concept, self-contained perpetual manifestation preserve, royalties for tourism...sure beats whiping themselves out once they've metabolized everything left of this place. You know how long a vessel like yours stays in one piece on its own? Biota running wild? Not a pretty sight.
YOU:
So...what about this "anomaly," know anything about that?
So...what about this "anomaly," know anything about that?
TRICHIA:
Oh, of course. I can feel the subvibrations from here. Smelled this more times than I can count. Dial-face is a few bolts short upstairs, but he knows what he's talking about when it comes to a corrupted vessel...whatever's giving off a signature like that, you don't want it anywhere near anything that's supposed to stabilize biomatter. If it so much as touches his usual stew, BOOM. Nobody's gonna wanna honeymoon in that mess.
Oh, of course. I can feel the subvibrations from here. Smelled this more times than I can count. Dial-face is a few bolts short upstairs, but he knows what he's talking about when it comes to a corrupted vessel...whatever's giving off a signature like that, you don't want it anywhere near anything that's supposed to stabilize biomatter. If it so much as touches his usual stew, BOOM. Nobody's gonna wanna honeymoon in that mess.
YOU:
Won't these guys figure out pretty fast that he sent me?
Won't these guys figure out pretty fast that he sent me?
TRICHIA:
If they were visually oriented, sure, but your little utility kit is designed to be odorless for a reason.
Besides, you're probably the first gopher to make it through the underflesh in one piece. All they know is he's the jerk who wants to kick them off their "homeland," nevermind how dangerously unstable it is with them in it.
If they were visually oriented, sure, but your little utility kit is designed to be odorless for a reason.
Besides, you're probably the first gopher to make it through the underflesh in one piece. All they know is he's the jerk who wants to kick them off their "homeland," nevermind how dangerously unstable it is with them in it.
YOU:
So...what the heck should I do?
So...what the heck should I do?
TRICHIA:
If it were me? Let 'em take you to the whatchamawozzle, let Balmer contain it and let them figure out the rest on their own. Whatever you're doing this for, you gotta watch out for number one, get it?
If it were me? Let 'em take you to the whatchamawozzle, let Balmer contain it and let them figure out the rest on their own. Whatever you're doing this for, you gotta watch out for number one, get it?
YOU:
...Why are you being so "helpful," anyway?
...Why are you being so "helpful," anyway?
TRICHIA:
Just like I said...biovessels are a hobby of mine. I'd hate to see another one fall apart in just a quad-cycle, much less erupt into total biochaos. Why, last one sprouted an undula-
Just like I said...biovessels are a hobby of mine. I'd hate to see another one fall apart in just a quad-cycle, much less erupt into total biochaos. Why, last one sprouted an undula-
BARTENDER:
...What the!? TRICH! You better not be creepin' nobody!
...What the!? TRICH! You better not be creepin' nobody!
TRICHIA:
Hey, I'm a paying customer too y'know!
Hey, I'm a paying customer too y'know!
BARTENDER:
Yeah, I know. You had one too many about thirty ago. Get lost or I'm dialin' up a macrophage!
Yeah, I know. You had one too many about thirty ago. Get lost or I'm dialin' up a macrophage!
TRICHIA:
Pffft...those geezers can't still be hanging on, can they? Whatever. I got better places to be.
Pffft...those geezers can't still be hanging on, can they? Whatever. I got better places to be.
Trichia leans in close as they start to leave, tipping their hat and whispering softly.
TRICHIA:
Watch yourself out there, ya hear? And for the love of Nurgle, don't trust any damned dirty FUNGI.
Watch yourself out there, ya hear? And for the love of Nurgle, don't trust any damned dirty FUNGI.
