>Inquire About Items
Seemingly drawn to every useless piece of junk on the table, your brain-chatter is beginning to remind you of your babysitting years. They seem particularly enthused about a few that do strike your own curiosity, however.
You barely have to point them out before the Spine goes off on its sales pitches.
You barely have to point them out before the Spine goes off on its sales pitches.
MYSTERIOUS BOOK:
You hear a throbbing in your head when you look at this otherwise unassuming, orange book. It has no text on the cover.
You hear a throbbing in your head when you look at this otherwise unassuming, orange book. It has no text on the cover.
CROOKED SPINE:
Is someone or something you know laughably ignorant of concepts as basic as branchination!? "BRANCHINATION FOR SUBSAPIOIDS" is the easy-reader literary marvel for the educationally neglected! Now priced at only ~33ub!
Is someone or something you know laughably ignorant of concepts as basic as branchination!? "BRANCHINATION FOR SUBSAPIOIDS" is the easy-reader literary marvel for the educationally neglected! Now priced at only ~33ub!
PORTABLE BLACKLIGHT:
You're not completely sure how you might use this, but around here, you never know.
You're not completely sure how you might use this, but around here, you never know.
CROOKED SPINE:
Wondering whether your latest purchase really comes pre-mucused? Finding difficulty peering into the quad-purple froth matrix? Of course not! Nobody's sensory array is THAT pathetic! Why would you need this INCREDIBLE INVENTION for ONLY ~10ub!?
Wondering whether your latest purchase really comes pre-mucused? Finding difficulty peering into the quad-purple froth matrix? Of course not! Nobody's sensory array is THAT pathetic! Why would you need this INCREDIBLE INVENTION for ONLY ~10ub!?
BOTTLE OF GLUE:
Looks a lot like that stuff you purchased back in the biovessel.
Looks a lot like that stuff you purchased back in the biovessel.
CROOKED SPINE:
Never again lose a vital appendage between the couch cushions! Keep your pets and offspring in one manageable mass! Build a grabslabbener out of foonbootles! UNIVERSAL BIOADHESIVE can fuse anything to anything, but especially anything biological to anything! Only ~5ub while supplies last!
Never again lose a vital appendage between the couch cushions! Keep your pets and offspring in one manageable mass! Build a grabslabbener out of foonbootles! UNIVERSAL BIOADHESIVE can fuse anything to anything, but especially anything biological to anything! Only ~5ub while supplies last!
CLOT OF FLESH:
Slowly pulsating. Every so often, the little hand clenches and un-clenches. Eugh.
Slowly pulsating. Every so often, the little hand clenches and un-clenches. Eugh.
CROOKED SPINE:
Whether you're in mortal danger, mortal safety, lonely, bored or hungry, an EMERGENCY TERATOMA is agreed upon by wide scientific and quasiscientific consensus to be among the most versatile tools in the perception range! Now only ~150ub!
Whether you're in mortal danger, mortal safety, lonely, bored or hungry, an EMERGENCY TERATOMA is agreed upon by wide scientific and quasiscientific consensus to be among the most versatile tools in the perception range! Now only ~150ub!
BAGGIE FULL OF LEECHES:
They're squirming around hungrily, but seem to be doing okay in an ordinary sandwich bag.
They're squirming around hungrily, but seem to be doing okay in an ordinary sandwich bag.
CROOKED SPINE:
Worthless, excess blood clogging your circulatory system!? Show that valueless garbage the door with our quality medicinal-grade hematophagous annelidae, freshly obtained from the surgical ward by nearly ethical, authorized-like means and available to you, the consumer, at only ~15ub! Get them while they're hungry, hungry, HUNGRY!
Worthless, excess blood clogging your circulatory system!? Show that valueless garbage the door with our quality medicinal-grade hematophagous annelidae, freshly obtained from the surgical ward by nearly ethical, authorized-like means and available to you, the consumer, at only ~15ub! Get them while they're hungry, hungry, HUNGRY!
WRONG WAY SIGN:
It doesn't look out of the ordinary, but you saw what that "out of order" note could do before, so...
It doesn't look out of the ordinary, but you saw what that "out of order" note could do before, so...
CROOKED SPINE:
We've ALL had our fair share of unfortunate run-ins with oblivious sapioids wantonly engaging in DIRECTIONS OF MOVEMENT that were CLEARLY INCORRECT. Ensure that entities immediately correct their locomotive paths with this ASTOOOUUUUUNNNNDING self-powering corrective mechanism for a TRIVIAL ~50ub!!
We've ALL had our fair share of unfortunate run-ins with oblivious sapioids wantonly engaging in DIRECTIONS OF MOVEMENT that were CLEARLY INCORRECT. Ensure that entities immediately correct their locomotive paths with this ASTOOOUUUUUNNNNDING self-powering corrective mechanism for a TRIVIAL ~50ub!!
BOTTLE OF GREEN STUFF:
It has a little, happy heart on it. That's good, right?
It has a little, happy heart on it. That's good, right?
CROOKED SPINE:
A miraculous innovation developed by NONE OTHER than the famous DOCTOR STAPHANIE COCCUS, this marvelous containment vessel is GUARANTEED to contain YOUR rejuvenating biofluids upon opening! FIRST SAMPLE FREE WITH ANY PURCHASE!
A miraculous innovation developed by NONE OTHER than the famous DOCTOR STAPHANIE COCCUS, this marvelous containment vessel is GUARANTEED to contain YOUR rejuvenating biofluids upon opening! FIRST SAMPLE FREE WITH ANY PURCHASE!
FILTHY SLIPPERS:
They look, feel, and smell disgusting, but you just might trust them a little more than the hospital floor itself.
They look, feel, and smell disgusting, but you just might trust them a little more than the hospital floor itself.
CROOKED SPINE:
Still walking BAREFOOT on a hospital floor so thoroughly coated in PISSWORM SPORES!? That's a FASHION DISASTER! This STUNNING indoor wear can be yours for only ~25ub!
Still walking BAREFOOT on a hospital floor so thoroughly coated in PISSWORM SPORES!? That's a FASHION DISASTER! This STUNNING indoor wear can be yours for only ~25ub!
