>Visit the Shop
No, no you are not going to visit the barf guy. The last time you looked in that room it was NOTHING but barf and a big hole in the wall. Maybe later. For now, maybe those weirdo bones with the little store have something useful...how many band-aids do you have again?
Actually...it might be a good idea to bring Willis in for this one, maybe he knows what some of this junk really does.
As usual, the spinal column is already talking when you step inside. Loudly.
Actually...it might be a good idea to bring Willis in for this one, maybe he knows what some of this junk really does.
As usual, the spinal column is already talking when you step inside. Loudly.
CROOKED SPINE:
-isn't our nnNNUMBER ONE BEST customerrr!!! Good old reliable....ffffff......ffffFRANK! This layer only, ALL SIZE Franks can enjoy our "YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR" special! That's right, Franks: TWICE THE PRICE for maybe TWICE. THE. QUALITYYYY!!
-isn't our nnNNUMBER ONE BEST customerrr!!! Good old reliable....ffffff......ffffFRANK! This layer only, ALL SIZE Franks can enjoy our "YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR" special! That's right, Franks: TWICE THE PRICE for maybe TWICE. THE. QUALITYYYY!!
BROKEN SKULL:
Eheheh. Heheh. Woosh.
Eheheh. Heheh. Woosh.
A collective "AHHHHH!!!!" of impressed satisfaction resonates from nowhere in particular. Somewhere in the chorus, a single voice, as though choking back tears, passionately wails "THAT'S FRANK RIGHT THERE!!!"
WILLIS:
Wow! We have a store!?!
Wow! We have a store!?!
FERN:
Yeah, I uh, don't think you're really supposed to.
Yeah, I uh, don't think you're really supposed to.
WILLIS:
What's that!! What's that!!? WHAT'S THAT!!!
What's that!! What's that!!? WHAT'S THAT!!!
FERN:
Willis, we don't really have ti...er...layers...to look at every-
Willis, we don't really have ti...er...layers...to look at every-
CROOKED SPINE:
A COMPLETE AND DETAILED INVENTORY, YOU SAY!?!
A COMPLETE AND DETAILED INVENTORY, YOU SAY!?!
HAPPIE! WORT!!:
Smells horribe even in its box.
Smells horribe even in its box.
CROOKED SPINE:
Is your papilloma looking un-happill-oma!? Don't let a miserable, depressing blemish embarrass you in front of your friends! HAPPIE!!!!!! WORT!!!!!! Will perk that bunion into a FUNION! ~100ub!
Is your papilloma looking un-happill-oma!? Don't let a miserable, depressing blemish embarrass you in front of your friends! HAPPIE!!!!!! WORT!!!!!! Will perk that bunion into a FUNION! ~100ub!
BAGGIE FULL OF LEECHES:
They're squirming around hungrily, but seem to be doing okay in an ordinary sandwich bag.
They're squirming around hungrily, but seem to be doing okay in an ordinary sandwich bag.
CROOKED SPINE:
Still carting around FAR too much blood!? Who needs the stuff! Get your Hirudinae while they last - they don't come from ANYBODY currently or previously employed by the Hospital! If they did, there'd be some sort of sign of them, wouldn't there!? AND YET, THERE ISN'T!!! Yours for only ~30ub!
Still carting around FAR too much blood!? Who needs the stuff! Get your Hirudinae while they last - they don't come from ANYBODY currently or previously employed by the Hospital! If they did, there'd be some sort of sign of them, wouldn't there!? AND YET, THERE ISN'T!!! Yours for only ~30ub!
WRONG WAY SIGN:
It doesn't look out of the ordinary, but you saw what that "out of order" note could do before, so...
It doesn't look out of the ordinary, but you saw what that "out of order" note could do before, so...
CROOKED SPINE:
Pesky pursuers taking unfair advantage of CORRECT COURSES? De-correct their locomotive pattern with this INNNNNCREDIBLE device for ~100ub!!
Pesky pursuers taking unfair advantage of CORRECT COURSES? De-correct their locomotive pattern with this INNNNNCREDIBLE device for ~100ub!!
BOTTLE OF GREEN STUFF:
It has a little, happy heart on it. That's good, right?
It has a little, happy heart on it. That's good, right?
CROOKED SPINE:
Ever find yourself in the middle of a delicate social situation...only to run out of living? HOW HUMILIATING! Instantly replenish your biomaterial to functionality for a mere ~20ub!
Ever find yourself in the middle of a delicate social situation...only to run out of living? HOW HUMILIATING! Instantly replenish your biomaterial to functionality for a mere ~20ub!
FILTHY SLIPPERS:
They look, feel, and smell disgusting, but you just might trust them a little more than the hospital floor itself.
They look, feel, and smell disgusting, but you just might trust them a little more than the hospital floor itself.
CROOKED SPINE:
That microscopic film of excreta you're walking on is SO last year! Show off your SUPERIOR fashion sense for only ~50ub!
That microscopic film of excreta you're walking on is SO last year! Show off your SUPERIOR fashion sense for only ~50ub!
A DEAD CLAM COVERED IN GOOGLY EYES:
A dead sea creature, turned into a smelly knick-knack.
A dead sea creature, turned into a smelly knick-knack.
CROOKED SPINE:
This...well...this...REMARKABLE!!! ...ITEM!!!! What CAN'T it do!? Oh, the things this can do! Well worth the ~110ub!
This...well...this...REMARKABLE!!! ...ITEM!!!! What CAN'T it do!? Oh, the things this can do! Well worth the ~110ub!
INSTANT EYEAWAY:
The bottle has a bleary, pink eyeball printed on it.
The bottle has a bleary, pink eyeball printed on it.
CROOKED SPINE:
Whether you're tired of BEING, HAVING, or ASSOCIATING WITH ocular sensory organs, just a few drops will reconceptualize those pesky peepers in a flash! Now only ~50ub!
Whether you're tired of BEING, HAVING, or ASSOCIATING WITH ocular sensory organs, just a few drops will reconceptualize those pesky peepers in a flash! Now only ~50ub!
LAMPSHADE:
It's just a very small, fabric lampshade.
It's just a very small, fabric lampshade.
CROOKED SPINE:
An UNBELIEVABLE BARGAIN! I have it on reliable word that this remarkable mechanism has the capacity to ALTER THE COURSE of those unruly photons! Only ~100ub!
An UNBELIEVABLE BARGAIN! I have it on reliable word that this remarkable mechanism has the capacity to ALTER THE COURSE of those unruly photons! Only ~100ub!
MAGNET:
Just an ordinary looking horseshoe magnet.
Just an ordinary looking horseshoe magnet.
CROOKED SPINE:
THE LABORATORY'S latest innovation, this UN-BE-LIEVABLE object maintains a steady magnetic field with NO backtalk, its perceptoid safely confined to ONLY the blue-orange manifestation phase!!! At last, a magnet inanimate enough to trust for only ~30ub!
THE LABORATORY'S latest innovation, this UN-BE-LIEVABLE object maintains a steady magnetic field with NO backtalk, its perceptoid safely confined to ONLY the blue-orange manifestation phase!!! At last, a magnet inanimate enough to trust for only ~30ub!
IRON:
An ordinary looking iron.
An ordinary looking iron.
CROOKED SPINE:
That's right! What we've got here is a GEN-U-INE, BONA-FIDE SKERPENDERPLER, utilized from the grey zone to the seething to DERPLE SKERPENS faster than they can SKIZAZZ! NOW PRECISELY ~250ub!
That's right! What we've got here is a GEN-U-INE, BONA-FIDE SKERPENDERPLER, utilized from the grey zone to the seething to DERPLE SKERPENS faster than they can SKIZAZZ! NOW PRECISELY ~250ub!
RUBBER DOG BONE:
Shiny, well-chewed, sticky looking. You're going to just assume it belonged to a dog, even though you're probably wronger than you ever want to know.
Shiny, well-chewed, sticky looking. You're going to just assume it belonged to a dog, even though you're probably wronger than you ever want to know.
CROOKED SPINE:
~80ub is a STEAL for this ONE OF A KIND PWABDANGULAP, ripe and juicy as the dd::{"Ayyyy it was plucked from its mother's worb-hole!
~80ub is a STEAL for this ONE OF A KIND PWABDANGULAP, ripe and juicy as the dd::{"Ayyyy it was plucked from its mother's worb-hole!
PLASTIC TOY OF THAT HAMBURGER GUY:
You feel uneasy looking at this. You could swear you even saw it back home. Does that mean...?
Best not to dwell on it.
You feel uneasy looking at this. You could swear you even saw it back home. Does that mean...?
Best not to dwell on it.
CROOKED SPINE:
No. That's mine. Sorry!!
No. That's mine. Sorry!!
BIG RUBBER GLOVES:
The gloves you put on when you first arrived just sort of fell apart before you even noticed. You forgot you even had them, to be honest. These look more professional, and would even come up to your short sleeves...
The gloves you put on when you first arrived just sort of fell apart before you even noticed. You forgot you even had them, to be honest. These look more professional, and would even come up to your short sleeves...
CROOKED SPINE:
Better put the kids to bed!! We ALL know what you gross things do with these - WINK, WINK! - and we certainly don't want you to do it UNSAFELY now, would we!? WRAP IT BEFORE YOU SLAP IT for only ~60ub!
Better put the kids to bed!! We ALL know what you gross things do with these - WINK, WINK! - and we certainly don't want you to do it UNSAFELY now, would we!? WRAP IT BEFORE YOU SLAP IT for only ~60ub!
CURRENT USED BANDAGES:
The spine doesn't protest as you pick another clump of the horrible things off their own floor, bringing your total up to 310
The spine doesn't protest as you pick another clump of the horrible things off their own floor, bringing your total up to 310
