>Engage in conversation with the microorganisms decomposing your innards.
You just kind of feel like you should take a moment to appreciate that, but, you really do go way back.
...Way back? How long HAVE you been here? Eesh...
...Way back? How long HAVE you been here? Eesh...
QUEEN MAYA CELIA
Yeah, feels like a whole other lifetime now, doesn't it?! Course, we experience a couple hundred layers for every layer on your end, that too.
Yeah, feels like a whole other lifetime now, doesn't it?! Course, we experience a couple hundred layers for every layer on your end, that too.
SLOBFERN (Translated from Slobese)
...Oh...you...hear my thoughts...
...Oh...you...hear my thoughts...
QUEEN MAYA CELIA
Haha, yeah, doesn't matter really, not like we have any context to know which ones are the dirty ones for one of you things.
Haha, yeah, doesn't matter really, not like we have any context to know which ones are the dirty ones for one of you things.
CO-QUEEN DOCTOR STAPHANIE CELIA
...And we're NOT lying to make it less awkward!
...And we're NOT lying to make it less awkward!
QUEEN MAYA CELIA
Thanks, Staph, NOW she knows we're lying to make it less awkward.
Thanks, Staph, NOW she knows we're lying to make it less awkward.
CO-QUEEN DOCTOR STAPHANIE CELIA
Oop!
Oop!
SLOBFERN (Translated from Slobese)
N...Never mind that! Not that it isn't nice to hear from you, but how?! Why am I...this?!
N...Never mind that! Not that it isn't nice to hear from you, but how?! Why am I...this?!
CO-QUEEN DOCTOR STAPHANIE CELIA
WELLLLL, and I'm just hazarding a guess here based on my experiences as a medical professional, I'd wager there's a bit of a conflict between your respawn rate and the hospital's stressed resources...or one of those nice scissor girls accidentally spilled your core gels all over the floor. It happens.
WELLLLL, and I'm just hazarding a guess here based on my experiences as a medical professional, I'd wager there's a bit of a conflict between your respawn rate and the hospital's stressed resources...or one of those nice scissor girls accidentally spilled your core gels all over the floor. It happens.
SLOBFERN (Translated from Slobese)
Does it, now.
Does it, now.
CO-QUEEN DOCTOR STAPHANIE CELIA
I'm sure it'll correct itself the next time you need a spawn.
I'm sure it'll correct itself the next time you need a spawn.
SLOBFERN (Translated from Slobese)
Ah, great...wait, wouldn't that mean this thing has to die? With you in it!?
Ah, great...wait, wouldn't that mean this thing has to die? With you in it!?
CO-QUEEN DOCTOR STAPHANIE CELIA
Oh, no biggie, we've got protocols! You should have seen our last XK-scenario!
You just don't want it to happen too soon, or who knows what you'll wake up in, if anything at all.
Oh, no biggie, we've got protocols! You should have seen our last XK-scenario!
You just don't want it to happen too soon, or who knows what you'll wake up in, if anything at all.
SLOBFERN (Translated from Slobese)
Very comforting.
But, wait, let's slow down here...what the heck?! Were you just one thing a moment ago? How do I know that?? What have I missed?!
Very comforting.
But, wait, let's slow down here...what the heck?! Were you just one thing a moment ago? How do I know that?? What have I missed?!
QUEEN MAYA CELIA
Staph n' I have had a lot of adventures together.
...You could say we've really grown on each other. And just so we're even, that's the dirty way to put it for us.
Staph n' I have had a lot of adventures together.
...You could say we've really grown on each other. And just so we're even, that's the dirty way to put it for us.
CO-QUEEN DOCTOR STAPHANIE CELIA
"Adventures" is putting it mildly! We're the emissaries of the red blight! We find lesser subzones on the brink of extinguishment and offer them consenting manifestational extensification!
"Adventures" is putting it mildly! We're the emissaries of the red blight! We find lesser subzones on the brink of extinguishment and offer them consenting manifestational extensification!
QUEEN MAYA CELIA
She means we deliver your infectious tissues to folks we're sure appreciate it, so long as their vessel's original core has moved on.
She means we deliver your infectious tissues to folks we're sure appreciate it, so long as their vessel's original core has moved on.
SLOBFERN (Translated from Slobese)
Um, llllovely? About that, though, what you're calling this um, "red blight"...
Um, llllovely? About that, though, what you're calling this um, "red blight"...
QUEEN MAYA CELIA
Oh, way ahead of you hon, we know all about the parliament. We'd never convert a perceptoid without its permission, and once Staph wires 'em up right, we have a lot more control over these vessels than they do. That is, we have control over them. The Parliament can barely teach them up from down.
Oh, way ahead of you hon, we know all about the parliament. We'd never convert a perceptoid without its permission, and once Staph wires 'em up right, we have a lot more control over these vessels than they do. That is, we have control over them. The Parliament can barely teach them up from down.
SLOBFERN (Translated from Slobese)
Whew. Okay. And yes, that sounds about right. The more I learn about them, the less afraid I am of what they're trying to do and the more afraid I am of how they'll screw it up even worse.
Have you found out anything about them that might be useful?
Whew. Okay. And yes, that sounds about right. The more I learn about them, the less afraid I am of what they're trying to do and the more afraid I am of how they'll screw it up even worse.
Have you found out anything about them that might be useful?
CO-QUEEN DOCTOR STAPHANIE CELIA
We had an archaeological find sent your way some layers back...we believe the Parliament has a method of flooding zones with counterfeit medical products that exacerbate the "infection," if it is indeed an "infection."
We had an archaeological find sent your way some layers back...we believe the Parliament has a method of flooding zones with counterfeit medical products that exacerbate the "infection," if it is indeed an "infection."
SLOBFERN (Translated from Slobese)
Sure seems "infectious" to me.
Sure seems "infectious" to me.
CO-QUEEN DOCTOR STAPHANIE CELIA
Yes...it's just...it doesn't respond to conceptoprobing as one would expect of a "disease." All concept is subjective, yes, what one being considers a disease, another being might consider its state of health, or, ahem, its very person. The blight however is neither autodefined nor heterodefined as a malady.
Yes...it's just...it doesn't respond to conceptoprobing as one would expect of a "disease." All concept is subjective, yes, what one being considers a disease, another being might consider its state of health, or, ahem, its very person. The blight however is neither autodefined nor heterodefined as a malady.
QUEEN MAYA CELIA
...And what she means is, it works like a sickness for most things, and most things would subjectively categorize it as such, yet it still isn't technically manifesting as one. It doesn't follow the right conceptual rules. Its raw conceptual form won't blur with other disease-concept and it doesn't retreat from health-concept. It's the perfect malady; one that disguises itself as a state of health and feeds off what should remedy it.
...And what she means is, it works like a sickness for most things, and most things would subjectively categorize it as such, yet it still isn't technically manifesting as one. It doesn't follow the right conceptual rules. Its raw conceptual form won't blur with other disease-concept and it doesn't retreat from health-concept. It's the perfect malady; one that disguises itself as a state of health and feeds off what should remedy it.
SLOBFERN (Translated from Slobese)
I'm pretty pleased with myself that I understand a lot of what you just said by now, but, I can't say I understand what that means for us.
I'm pretty pleased with myself that I understand a lot of what you just said by now, but, I can't say I understand what that means for us.
CO-QUEEN DOCTOR STAPHANIE CELIA
That's okay, we don't either.
That's okay, we don't either.
SLOBFERN (Translated from Slobese)
Hmm. If it works the opposite way from most diseases, would it actually help to get the Hospital running better, or make things even worse? You guys know about Magdolene? She said she came from Maggie, and she thought the Hospital should be able to fight this if it's brought up to function.
Hmm. If it works the opposite way from most diseases, would it actually help to get the Hospital running better, or make things even worse? You guys know about Magdolene? She said she came from Maggie, and she thought the Hospital should be able to fight this if it's brought up to function.
CO-QUEEN DOCTOR STAPHANIE CELIA
Oh, there's no doubt the staff would know best what to do if they could think clearly! And I can vouch for the word of any Maggospawn, second only to the higher Hospital staff as the most trusted healers of the perception range. Maggie has good reason to be as proud as she is.
Oh, there's no doubt the staff would know best what to do if they could think clearly! And I can vouch for the word of any Maggospawn, second only to the higher Hospital staff as the most trusted healers of the perception range. Maggie has good reason to be as proud as she is.
SLOBFERN (Translated from Slobese)
How is she anyway? She isn't there with you?
How is she anyway? She isn't there with you?
QUEEN MAYA CELIA
Oh no, she outgrew our little boat a good 200 layers back. Pretty busy as the core manifestoid of her own primezone, The Cadaver. You could say zones like ours are to hers as the medical facilities of your grey-zone and other zones are to The Hospital. I'm sure she'd say hi if she could, and thank you for the boost, but I think a lady that bright was going that far either way.
Oh no, she outgrew our little boat a good 200 layers back. Pretty busy as the core manifestoid of her own primezone, The Cadaver. You could say zones like ours are to hers as the medical facilities of your grey-zone and other zones are to The Hospital. I'm sure she'd say hi if she could, and thank you for the boost, but I think a lady that bright was going that far either way.
SLOBFERN (Translated from Slobese)
Well, if you get the chance, you can tell her I'm proud of her too, that really sounds like a big deal.
Well, if you get the chance, you can tell her I'm proud of her too, that really sounds like a big deal.
DOCTOR E.M. BALMER, MORTUARY FRYCOOK
*Cough* you know, as thrilling as it is so stand here while I listen to a one-sided conversation with an unintelligible monstrosity, I'm going to have to return to my unpleasant duties sooner or later.
*Cough* you know, as thrilling as it is so stand here while I listen to a one-sided conversation with an unintelligible monstrosity, I'm going to have to return to my unpleasant duties sooner or later.
SLOBFERN (Translated from Slobese)
Oh, right, Balmer's here...what the heck's HIS deal? Didn't he try to kill us??!
Oh, right, Balmer's here...what the heck's HIS deal? Didn't he try to kill us??!
QUEEN MAYA CELIA
We all have conceptual imperatives to fulfill, Fern, it's nothing personal.
Balmer's become a nice source of intel for us...the Parliament has definitely become entangled with this operation, but it's difficult to tell which is taking advantage of which.
We all have conceptual imperatives to fulfill, Fern, it's nothing personal.
Balmer's become a nice source of intel for us...the Parliament has definitely become entangled with this operation, but it's difficult to tell which is taking advantage of which.
DOCTOR E.M. BALMER, MORTUARY FRYCOOK
Whoever's in charge, their health coverage is abysmal. Even taking into account present circumstances.
Whoever's in charge, their health coverage is abysmal. Even taking into account present circumstances.
SLOBFERN (Translated from Slobese)
Shoot, he can't hear me. I'm not good at social etiquette. Tell him he, uh, looks...nice? I guess?
Shoot, he can't hear me. I'm not good at social etiquette. Tell him he, uh, looks...nice? I guess?
QUEEN MAYA CELIA
*AHEM,* Fern wishes to announce that you have an appealing body.
*AHEM,* Fern wishes to announce that you have an appealing body.
DOCTOR E.M. BALMER, MORTUARY FRYCOOK
Ah. I see.
I suddenly regret that it's not capable of vomiting
Ah. I see.
I suddenly regret that it's not capable of vomiting
SLOBFERN (Translated from Slobese)
On second thought...don't actually tell anyone anything for me anymore.
On second thought...don't actually tell anyone anything for me anymore.
