PERIPHERA I:
Mizer's Evaluation
DOCTOR H.M. PHAGE, T.E:
...Oh, no, nothing personal! Nothing at all! It's simply my duty as head medical authority to assess staff performance on a regular basis for the continued security and safety of our fine, fine patients!
...Oh, no, nothing personal! Nothing at all! It's simply my duty as head medical authority to assess staff performance on a regular basis for the continued security and safety of our fine, fine patients!
DOCTOR PHLEBOTO MIZER:
DOCTOR H.M. PHAGE, T.E:
Well of course you're busy! I wrote your schedule with masterful efficiency, after all! Just consider our little chat your lunch break this spiraling.
Well of course you're busy! I wrote your schedule with masterful efficiency, after all! Just consider our little chat your lunch break this spiraling.
DOCTOR PHLEBOTO MIZER:
DOCTOR H.M. PHAGE, T.E:
No need to thank me! It's my official responsibility to come up with these ingenious solutions for you, after all!
No need to thank me! It's my official responsibility to come up with these ingenious solutions for you, after all!
DOCTOR PHLEBOTO MIZER:
DOCTOR H.M. PHAGE, T.E:
Ha, certainly! So then, doctor, on a scale from "exceptional" to "quasi-funkadelic," how would you rate the stability of your functional ectoparameters?
Ha, certainly! So then, doctor, on a scale from "exceptional" to "quasi-funkadelic," how would you rate the stability of your functional ectoparameters?
DOCTOR PHLEBOTO MIZER:
DOCTOR H.M. PHAGE, T.E:
OH! Aha! Let me just enter this data..."beep boop beep"...there we go! Now, tell me, have you experienced any distressing conceptualization streams, gel ripplings, flange plunges, wiggle hiccups, suctor webs, extracorporeal rashes of an anomalous nature or any other intrazonal, extrazonal, conceptual or existential complications while performing your assigned duties?
OH! Aha! Let me just enter this data..."beep boop beep"...there we go! Now, tell me, have you experienced any distressing conceptualization streams, gel ripplings, flange plunges, wiggle hiccups, suctor webs, extracorporeal rashes of an anomalous nature or any other intrazonal, extrazonal, conceptual or existential complications while performing your assigned duties?
DOCTOR PHLEBOTO MIZER:
DOCTOR H.M. PHAGE, T.E:
Mhmmm...MMMMHMMM!!! AHHHH! Excellent, excellent! And would you say your workplace relationship with one doctor H.M. Phage, T.E. is very satisfactory, highly satisfactory, satisfactorally satisfactory, camembert, or double-plus-good to the tenth power?
Mhmmm...MMMMHMMM!!! AHHHH! Excellent, excellent! And would you say your workplace relationship with one doctor H.M. Phage, T.E. is very satisfactory, highly satisfactory, satisfactorally satisfactory, camembert, or double-plus-good to the tenth power?
DOCTOR PHLEBOTO MIZER:
DOCTOR H.M. PHAGE, T.E:
HMMMMM...well...that wasn't the question, but let's just write in "extrafantabulous" for now! And on a scale of "incomparably infallible" to "supremely infallible," how would you rate this "Phage" character on his or her job performance?
HMMMMM...well...that wasn't the question, but let's just write in "extrafantabulous" for now! And on a scale of "incomparably infallible" to "supremely infallible," how would you rate this "Phage" character on his or her job performance?
DOCTOR PHLEBOTO MIZER:
DOCTOR H.M. PHAGE, T.E:
I...see. Well, we don't have that option here, but "supremely infallible" is certainly a close enough approximation!
...Aaaaand now to forward that to the rest of the staaaaff...aaaand to myself for final approoovalllll....aaaaaaand to the extrazonal council of operationssss....."DINGGG!" Finished!
...Now, then....*cough*...about our little...er...I hesitate to say we have any sort of "problem," as our operations here have been confirmed supremely infallible by objective consensus, so let's just call it our... professional challenge, shall we?
I...see. Well, we don't have that option here, but "supremely infallible" is certainly a close enough approximation!
...Aaaaand now to forward that to the rest of the staaaaff...aaaand to myself for final approoovalllll....aaaaaaand to the extrazonal council of operationssss....."DINGGG!" Finished!
...Now, then....*cough*...about our little...er...I hesitate to say we have any sort of "problem," as our operations here have been confirmed supremely infallible by objective consensus, so let's just call it our... professional challenge, shall we?
DOCTOR PHLEBOTO MIZER:
DOCTOR H.M. PHAGE, T.E:
The mother? What mother? You mean the host?
The mother? What mother? You mean the host?
DOCTOR PHLEBOTO MIZER:
DOCTOR H.M. PHAGE, T.E:
No, no, they're completely different biotypes! The "maileds" inject spores from their proboscis into the "fleamaileds" and the larval "piglet" or "bastard" consumes host blood, tissues and "moneys" until old enough to be deposited in one of their education-jails!
Patient M-G-729390-00 is lucky we caught the aberrant patterns in time... you know these things get buried in dirt when all their fluids and moneys run out? If we hadn't intervened when we did, their entire endosphere could have been "so grounded" as they are known to call it. GHASTLY!
No, no, they're completely different biotypes! The "maileds" inject spores from their proboscis into the "fleamaileds" and the larval "piglet" or "bastard" consumes host blood, tissues and "moneys" until old enough to be deposited in one of their education-jails!
Patient M-G-729390-00 is lucky we caught the aberrant patterns in time... you know these things get buried in dirt when all their fluids and moneys run out? If we hadn't intervened when we did, their entire endosphere could have been "so grounded" as they are known to call it. GHASTLY!
DOCTOR PHLEBOTO MIZER:
DOCTOR H.M. PHAGE, T.E:
...I think I know a thing or two about the grey, Mizer, you were barely a particulate notion wafting on the conceptual channels when I pioneered their most popular carcinoma, and I was barely out of my training proteins!
...I think I know a thing or two about the grey, Mizer, you were barely a particulate notion wafting on the conceptual channels when I pioneered their most popular carcinoma, and I was barely out of my training proteins!
DOCTOR PHLEBOTO MIZER:
DOCTOR H.M. PHAGE, T.E:
Oh, pshaw! The nurturer isn't what matters here, anyway! If we have to purge the babby or rugrot or whatever they call it, we'll just unentangle them and send M-G on its merry way. It shouldn't even remember it ever had to deal with the thing.
How are its bioreadings, anyway? The conceptual expansions are on record, but let's not underestimate the flesh-matter symptoms just because they're the simplest to purge!
Oh, pshaw! The nurturer isn't what matters here, anyway! If we have to purge the babby or rugrot or whatever they call it, we'll just unentangle them and send M-G on its merry way. It shouldn't even remember it ever had to deal with the thing.
How are its bioreadings, anyway? The conceptual expansions are on record, but let's not underestimate the flesh-matter symptoms just because they're the simplest to purge!
DOCTOR PHLEBOTO MIZER:
DOCTOR H.M. PHAGE, T.E:
Well, I suppose no news is good news, unless it only seems the case because its changes are overwriting core continuity...a very real possibility. Increase conceptual vacuum drip and expand its endosphere into the void string, that should tell us if it's despiralating.
Well, I suppose no news is good news, unless it only seems the case because its changes are overwriting core continuity...a very real possibility. Increase conceptual vacuum drip and expand its endosphere into the void string, that should tell us if it's despiralating.
DOCTOR PHLEBOTO MIZER:
DOCTOR H.M. PHAGE, T.E:
We're all concerned, Mizer...but we can't be certain the specimen is a cause or a symptom of recent...inconsistencies. What if we unexistalize the thing and continuity degrades even faster? It could simply be the point at which our true catalysts are concentrating their attention. Better it and a few patients than all of us and beyond, for now.
We're all concerned, Mizer...but we can't be certain the specimen is a cause or a symptom of recent...inconsistencies. What if we unexistalize the thing and continuity degrades even faster? It could simply be the point at which our true catalysts are concentrating their attention. Better it and a few patients than all of us and beyond, for now.
DOCTOR PHLEBOTO MIZER:
DOCTOR H.M. PHAGE, T.E:
*Sigh,* very well, I'll give Molly your next supply run and zone sweeping, the lab is yours.
*Sigh,* very well, I'll give Molly your next supply run and zone sweeping, the lab is yours.
