PAgE SiX
MEANWHILE...
Professor Lexicovermus was overjoyed beyond all wholesome sense. Three, possibly four distinct entities were physically patronizing the library at the same time, and he could have practically exploded as he twirled with glee.
"UNIT REQUESTS STATUS REPORT." buzzed the looming visitor. It always asked these kinds of things on these kinds of visits, and it was harder every time to get the little bookworm to pay attention.
"BOY OH BOY OH BOY!" wailed the professor. "FOLKS SURE ARE READIN' SOME READS THESE HERE LAYERS I TELL YA WHAT!!! I...I TELL YA....FOLKS SURE ARE...THAT!!!! WHOA NELLY!" he was even less coherent than the last meeting, which was quite irritating for this particular visitor, yet it also indicated desirable progress.
"UNIT REQUESTS STATUS REPORT" the thingy repeated.
It watched the professor spin some more. His rapturous shrieking was turning into weird, indescribable barks. The being sunk a little, then pondered something.
"THIS UNIT REQUIRES STATUS REPORT BEFORE UNIT CAN RESUME...ENJOYMENT OF LITERATURE."
The professor snapped to attention, remembering with clarity what it was he was supposed to do, though unfortunately not at all remembering why.
"OOHHH!! OHHHGOSH YEAHH! OH! Y-YYEAAHH!! OF COURSE!! IT'S ALL...GOOD! PEACHY KEEN-O!!! THINGS WERE LOOKIN...UH...NOT SO FINE, REALLY, BUT THE HOSPITAL SENT A REEEEEEEAL NICE YOUNG LAD TO HAVE A LOOKSIE AT-"
UNDESIRABLE RESPONSE!!!!!! the entity interrupted with a booming vibrosignal that could shudder gels. "OUR OPERATIVES HAVE ARRANGED NO KNOWN HOSPITAL INTERVENTION BY A DEVELOPMENTALLY INCOMPLETE MALE. CAN YOU CONFIRM THESE SPECIFICATIONS."
"OH, JEEPERS! I THINK...I THINK I, UH..." the professor disappeared down into his book hole for a moment, as though he had to physically find the memory, which he did. "YEPPAROONI! HERE WE GO!! THERE'S THE LIL FELLER!" he said, sharing the memory-image of Willis by a process you would only understand with at least a class-T fluid-based sensory system.
The visitor did whatever a double take looks like for the kind of thing it was. "UNACCEPTABLE!!! SUBJECT REMAINS IMPENETRABLE TO OUTSIDE INFLUENCE. IMPACT BY SUBJECT ON CURRENT OPERATIONS IS UNACCEPTABLY UNPREDICTABLE. SUBJECT COULD COMPROMISE STABILITY OF OUR OPERATIONS WITHIN THIS ZONE."
"GOODNESS GRAAAACIOUS GRAVY ON TOP AIN'T THAT A STICKY OL' WICKET!!!!" the professor hollered with concern, still smiling, having no idea anymore what those "operations" were supposed to be or whether he had actually approved of them. He hadn't. "WHAT - HEY! - HEY, COME BACK HERE! COME BACK - WHAT - WHAT DO WE DO, GEORGIE OL' PAL!?!" he asked of the ominous figure, who had not been going anywhere and was not named Georgie.
"DO NOT BE ALARMED. SUBJECT DETECTED IN VICINITY OF OPERATIVE GRZN-02398247. REFRAIN FROM INTERFERENCE AND ALLOW OUR OPERATIVE TO NEUTRALIZE THE THREAT."
The professor slowed, and his expression sunk. The implication of the being's words was stirring something deep beneath the fog of madness that had rather recently replaced his usual, more productive madness.
"THAT'S...THat's...hold on...that's not...we don't do that here, fella. Ain't no...ain't no fightin' when there's books to read! Little guy's a kiddo, guy! If there's a troublemaker troublemakin' in our FIIIINE readery here, that's....pretty sure that's my jurisdictification to deal with myself! Not some...who did you say? Wait........who're you exactly??!"
The entity did not answer the question. It had prepared several possible responses in the event that the professor became so uncomfortably cognizant.
"OH NO. PROFESSOR. THIS UNIT HAS RECALLED A FACT PREVIOUSLY OMITTED FROM OUR COMMUNICATIONS. IT SEEMS THAT THIS UNIT DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO READ IN HYXIXXZK CILIASCRIPT. IT IS URGENT THAT THIS UNIT BE EDUCATED ON THIS MATTER." This was not a very good lie, mind you; hyxixxzk ciliascript was a language so simple it was easily readable to your world's goldfish, and not even the branchinated ones.
Nonetheless, the professor's tiny jaw dropped and his glasses spun around, making a ridiculous noise as they did so.
"...YOU...Y..YOU T-T-TELLIN ME WHAT I THINK YOU'RE TELLIN!?!"
"AFFIRMATIVE, PROFESSOR. OH. PLEASE. TEACH ME TO READ."
The prolonged screech of excitement emitted by the professor was, coincidentally, identical to what a pterodactyl really used to sound like, so it's too bad you can't hear it right now. It wasn't even half-way through this screech that he had forgotten his concerns, and in fact forgotten nearly everything else that was going on again.
Confident that it could keep the professor occupied, the visitor silently transmitted a new set of directives to operative GRZN-02398247. The professor had quite possibly already forgotten again what they were doing, but he was growing more susceptible to suggestion by the layer.
"UNIT REQUESTS STATUS REPORT." buzzed the looming visitor. It always asked these kinds of things on these kinds of visits, and it was harder every time to get the little bookworm to pay attention.
"BOY OH BOY OH BOY!" wailed the professor. "FOLKS SURE ARE READIN' SOME READS THESE HERE LAYERS I TELL YA WHAT!!! I...I TELL YA....FOLKS SURE ARE...THAT!!!! WHOA NELLY!" he was even less coherent than the last meeting, which was quite irritating for this particular visitor, yet it also indicated desirable progress.
"UNIT REQUESTS STATUS REPORT" the thingy repeated.
It watched the professor spin some more. His rapturous shrieking was turning into weird, indescribable barks. The being sunk a little, then pondered something.
"THIS UNIT REQUIRES STATUS REPORT BEFORE UNIT CAN RESUME...ENJOYMENT OF LITERATURE."
The professor snapped to attention, remembering with clarity what it was he was supposed to do, though unfortunately not at all remembering why.
"OOHHH!! OHHHGOSH YEAHH! OH! Y-YYEAAHH!! OF COURSE!! IT'S ALL...GOOD! PEACHY KEEN-O!!! THINGS WERE LOOKIN...UH...NOT SO FINE, REALLY, BUT THE HOSPITAL SENT A REEEEEEEAL NICE YOUNG LAD TO HAVE A LOOKSIE AT-"
UNDESIRABLE RESPONSE!!!!!! the entity interrupted with a booming vibrosignal that could shudder gels. "OUR OPERATIVES HAVE ARRANGED NO KNOWN HOSPITAL INTERVENTION BY A DEVELOPMENTALLY INCOMPLETE MALE. CAN YOU CONFIRM THESE SPECIFICATIONS."
"OH, JEEPERS! I THINK...I THINK I, UH..." the professor disappeared down into his book hole for a moment, as though he had to physically find the memory, which he did. "YEPPAROONI! HERE WE GO!! THERE'S THE LIL FELLER!" he said, sharing the memory-image of Willis by a process you would only understand with at least a class-T fluid-based sensory system.
The visitor did whatever a double take looks like for the kind of thing it was. "UNACCEPTABLE!!! SUBJECT REMAINS IMPENETRABLE TO OUTSIDE INFLUENCE. IMPACT BY SUBJECT ON CURRENT OPERATIONS IS UNACCEPTABLY UNPREDICTABLE. SUBJECT COULD COMPROMISE STABILITY OF OUR OPERATIONS WITHIN THIS ZONE."
"GOODNESS GRAAAACIOUS GRAVY ON TOP AIN'T THAT A STICKY OL' WICKET!!!!" the professor hollered with concern, still smiling, having no idea anymore what those "operations" were supposed to be or whether he had actually approved of them. He hadn't. "WHAT - HEY! - HEY, COME BACK HERE! COME BACK - WHAT - WHAT DO WE DO, GEORGIE OL' PAL!?!" he asked of the ominous figure, who had not been going anywhere and was not named Georgie.
"DO NOT BE ALARMED. SUBJECT DETECTED IN VICINITY OF OPERATIVE GRZN-02398247. REFRAIN FROM INTERFERENCE AND ALLOW OUR OPERATIVE TO NEUTRALIZE THE THREAT."
The professor slowed, and his expression sunk. The implication of the being's words was stirring something deep beneath the fog of madness that had rather recently replaced his usual, more productive madness.
"THAT'S...THat's...hold on...that's not...we don't do that here, fella. Ain't no...ain't no fightin' when there's books to read! Little guy's a kiddo, guy! If there's a troublemaker troublemakin' in our FIIIINE readery here, that's....pretty sure that's my jurisdictification to deal with myself! Not some...who did you say? Wait........who're you exactly??!"
The entity did not answer the question. It had prepared several possible responses in the event that the professor became so uncomfortably cognizant.
"OH NO. PROFESSOR. THIS UNIT HAS RECALLED A FACT PREVIOUSLY OMITTED FROM OUR COMMUNICATIONS. IT SEEMS THAT THIS UNIT DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO READ IN HYXIXXZK CILIASCRIPT. IT IS URGENT THAT THIS UNIT BE EDUCATED ON THIS MATTER." This was not a very good lie, mind you; hyxixxzk ciliascript was a language so simple it was easily readable to your world's goldfish, and not even the branchinated ones.
Nonetheless, the professor's tiny jaw dropped and his glasses spun around, making a ridiculous noise as they did so.
"...YOU...Y..YOU T-T-TELLIN ME WHAT I THINK YOU'RE TELLIN!?!"
"AFFIRMATIVE, PROFESSOR. OH. PLEASE. TEACH ME TO READ."
The prolonged screech of excitement emitted by the professor was, coincidentally, identical to what a pterodactyl really used to sound like, so it's too bad you can't hear it right now. It wasn't even half-way through this screech that he had forgotten his concerns, and in fact forgotten nearly everything else that was going on again.
Confident that it could keep the professor occupied, the visitor silently transmitted a new set of directives to operative GRZN-02398247. The professor had quite possibly already forgotten again what they were doing, but he was growing more susceptible to suggestion by the layer.
