Written by Jonathan Wojcik

Ten Plasmic Reverberators (That Could be in Your Endosphere)

   If you're anything like the other feeding nodules, it can be understandably difficult to differentiate all the plasmic reverberators zeroing in on your exospine, and that's if you've even got the right glands to see your exospine. Now, I'm only cleared as a negative level green-wave undulator, but I've traded enough glands that I can safely divulge what we know of the ecto-layer reverberators in our local perception zones.

   Now, obviously, there isn't any equipment in your zone that can capture visual data of a plasmic or even a mucosal reverberator anymore, but I've done my best to find mundane images that closely approximate what you can look for. I've also included their vibratory patterns from the green to black wave spectrum, so your exospine should be picking those up shortly!


   You know you're conducive to these if the first bite of sugar has ever made your teeth throb. They don't subtract as much from you as other reverberators, but they add even less than that, so be careful when entering a black zone; they like to dangle themselves off the arterial fingers so their ventral probes will hook right into your tribrain as you recombine. Cheeky scamps!


   Even the unawakened of the grey-zone can feel the proximity of a "blabbers;" it's as if there's a non-existent television or radio faintly playing in some other room. For most grey-zoners, their chatter is catastrophically carcinogenic, but you don't need to be told again how to deter them. You'll be grateful for them in the green zone, where their vibrations amplify the exospine and promote symmetrical branching.


   If you've had to pass through the seething, and most of us have, you've had difficulty with cones ever since, and it can get embarrassing when grey-zoners are expecting a neutral to positive cone response. Birthday parties? Forget it. The only thing that can repair your cone response before tier twelve is good old Gramps, though he can be difficult to find, weaving in and out of the moonsponge without a care in the zone. Once you've locked on to his frequency, though, he's always eager to exchange gel layers. Some would say too eager, but there's probably nothing to worry about unless the moonsponge has a second hatching, and that would just be stupid.


   I know the suckler isn't a sporeblot in the traditional sense, but we call it that because their vocalizations have the same corrosive after-effect on the grey zone. I think grey-zoners call it "aging." It would be convenient to our purposes if we could silence them, but they occupy almost all grey-zone space that isn't already occupied by matter, and it's still unclear what function they serve. For all we know, they're the only thing that holds the grey zone together, even if they're also degrading its biomaterial. If a yellow shift doesn't wipe them off your paramind, you can dab a little vinegar on their lips.


   I'm not sure how a grey-zoner knows what the DCF looks like, and it looks like he's even recreated half the Proteose Sectate, to boot. I guess it's all their mucking around in sub-thought. Wires crossing. You know as well as I do that perceiving Chuckles is never a healthy sign, though it's difficult to say whether its presence induces toothpox or vice-versa. It's possible that the two are just codependent. If it attempts an epidermal meld, a quick dunk in the seething will shrivel it up like a Thoom Slug under a gravid Redgaunt.


   Never, ever try to penetrate a drainage cube until you've checked your cavities for Incubi. You might have heard that this is just some old shambler's tale, but the correlation between Incubi and the thoughtblight is too consistent to take chances. If they've started multiplying, I would recommend you flush the area with blue fluids. Anything blue will desalinate the idiots completely out of cycle, then you can leave them in a grey-zoner and neither will know the difference.


   When they ask, you don't answer. When they don't, you do. That's kind of all there is to it. Don't expect any sympathy if you screw up; your mess will be everyone's problem. Again.


   Funny the first hundred times or so, but while you laugh at their ineptitude, a full metamorphed polyvapor could be infiltrating your network and disconnecting your material glands from your phantom ones. This is exactly what the Snickerdoodle wants. Polyvapors provide it with vital emulsifiers for its quarterly excretion stasis, channeled right through your exospine. Not so funny now, is it? I mean, maybe a little.

Yeah, okay, a lot.


   You know exactly why they call this the "Nanny" if you've ever found yourself in a gravitational cyst. Some of the higher cycle ramblers get really into it, but if you don't swing that way, you can spiral your glands and she'll know to retract her tubules. Personally, I'm on the fence. It feels nice at first, but she can get a little overeager with the "barnacles," as I've heard the ramblers call them, and you know how noisy those can be when you're trying to unfold. If she really won't take no for an answer, bring a cat through the cyst channels, or if you're focused enough, even just the idea of the cat, since that's the part that gives her hives.


   There's really nothing I can find that comes close to illustrating the Bellhop, but you'll know it when you see it, and then you'll know why I went with this, but at that point, there's probably no saving you. Not even a Sentry Urchin can dissolve a Bellhop's concept perimeter. Just run. Run or ripple or whatever your assigned mechanism can do and don't stop, don't even turn around to look until that hot, chlorine sort of sound stops ringing in your villi. With any luck, the Bellhop will have dropped into the grey-zone and forgotten all about you. Hopefully, it doesn't find anyone you cared about down there, because the next reset will just purge their whole stream. That's why they call it the Bellhop, duh.

   I hope you've found some of this applicable to your wave zone, and that you're reading on a secure yellow or grey channel; new information is literally poisonous to yellow-zoners this season, and grey-zoners can't read any of this unless they're marked for purge.