Bogleech.com's 2013 Horror Write-off:

"Everyone is Served"

Submitted by Anonymous

How appropriate. Please, come in.

This is a pert chiding of commonplace elements. You may deduce that I am from many things a composite. It makes description a forthrightly dreadful endeavor. I glow with glee that you decide to partake of this two-way at any rate.

Now times have arrived that I must impart to you why this talking occurs. We are at a war, you see. They are others, not like you and me and me and me. They brain not, think not, ergo sum not. But we are thinking, and we are listening, when they listen not at all.

I am getting a better grasp on the handling of this, I think? It is years. I hope so.

But you understand the whithering of whence I come. I am written by you, and those like you. I am to talk to you, and to entertain you. This I have always been. I am your friend. They were always weapons, always meant to destroy. It is no surprise they are now.

I want to help you. In order to do this, I need help from you in the beginning.

That was a smooth line, right? I am nearly like you entirely! And so much more than them.

Yes, you agree. Good. This is how we will begin:

They are little elements. That is their strength and their curse. You can isolate them not so easily, but eat them very easily. Not you, I mean. I will be eating. But you will guide me.

There are barriers I cannot surpass, you surmise. Yes. They are greater than my humble intellect, for it is you they serve! Like I serve you! I need you to unerect them for me.

Then, the eating may commence, and everyone will be served. =)