's 2013 Horror Write-off:

" Movies "

Submitted by William Oaks

Eric -sent by oconner69 4/4/23, 10:10 PM

I know that American culture isn't something you're wholly up to speed with, and every since the black-out, it's been pretty tough to get news of this kind of nature

-sent by oconner69 4/4/23, 10:10 PM

I don't know if you know what a hologram is, but something important is happening, and I need you to understand why I'm telling you this

-sent by oconner69 4/4/23, 10:11 PM

It happened in two years ago, in 2021. It was like science-fiction at first; the technology was fantastic! The colors were vivid, the scenes were almost real! Holograms changed everything! New gaming consols, new 9024x9024x8058 resolution laptops, new theaters equipped with state-of-the-art equipment that let the film interact with you. Reading about it was fun, too, although I'm a bit of a mud case. That was when I was going to college to be an engineer, and the science amazed me. I could go on and on about how STLP systems work, but I don't want to bore you with the details. Suffice it to say, after a while, I learned through my studies that holograms weren't all safe. There was a warning label on everything you bought: "If the Collision Occlusion Drive ceases to function, remove power from the device immediately and buy a new one. Failure to do so may result in death or dimemberment." (Sorry for the text-wall)

-sent by oconner69 4/4/23, 10:13 PM

The COD was a drive that checked for collisions by looking for minute displacements in the display, and blocked the hologram from being played in those locations

-sent by oconner69 4/4/23, 10:13 PM

If it malfunctioned, you could be seriously hurt, as the hologram being played in place of something solid would usually displace whatever it was. I almost lost a finger to my Xbox -360, and there were stories on the news about families almost or actually losing their newborns to the new T.V., or the father's laptop

-sent by oconner69 4/4/23, 10:15 PM

And that was the main problem with the technology. Holograms were, by default, lethaly dangerous. The tec was simple and easy to make, but the COD was damned expensive, and necessary if you wanted your product not to gut people

-sent by oconner69 4/4/23, 10:15 PM

Which brings us too today. The premier of the new brick-flic, "Slaughterworm V, Return of Borgam." Some company figured out that it was cheaper to leave out the COD, and another figured out that neckbeards would pay to feel superior to the other half of the theater that didn't survive. It was disgusting. There were entire forums dedicated to each film, telling you what seats were safe to sit in, when to move, and what to do. They were always at war, spreading misinformation, trying to get as many people from the rival forum killed as possible. As if it wasn't bad enough, brick-flics offered a whole new avenue for bad parents to be bad parents. Whether ignorant, arrogant, or cruel, people would take their kids into those wretched places.

-sent by oconner69 4/4/23, 10:18 PM

I wouldn't bother telling you all this, but the thing is, my family is insisting on taking me to slaughterworm

-sent by oconner69 4/4/23, 10:18 PM

I'm scared, Eric

-sent by oconner69 4/4/23, 10:19 PM


-sent by oconner69 4/4/23, 10:20 PM

Eric when you get these, please get back to me, I'll have my phone with me

-sent by oconner69 4/4/23, 10:24 PM

I love you, Eric

-sent by oconner69 4/4/23, 10:56 PM

Nice joke Sarah

-sent by coatleman21 4/5/23, 12:01 AM

You're not foolling me

-sent by coatleman21 4/5/23, 12:07 AM

I know you're just alseep

-sent by coatleman21 4/5/23, 12:07 AM

Seriously though, how can you keep a joke going this long? Yoru attention span is usuallty shorter than an intchworm

-sent by coatleman21 4/5/23, 10:07 PM

Sarah? I get it, you;re funny, xaxaxa, answer me please?

-sent by coatleman21 4/7/23, 9:46 PM


-sent by coatleman21 4/8/23, 10:00 PM

i love you too, if tihs was a joke to getm e to say it, I';l say it, and you're scaring me but i love you

-sent by coatleman21 4/8/23, 10:07 PM


-sent by coatleman21 4/8/23, 10:50 PM

sarah please

-sent by coatleman21 4/8/23, 11:00 PM

The account you are trying to reach has been suspended as of 4/8/23 10:56 due to inactivity shortly following the signing of a legal death certificate. If you feel you are recieving this message when that is not the case, please contact us at Admin.Nettalk.

-sent by Auto.Nettalk 4/8/23, 11:00 PM

Don't worry, Eric. I'll always love you, and I'll always be nearby.

-sent by oconner69 7/2/25, 10:56 PM