's 2013 Horror Write-off:

" My New Home "

Submitted by Sophie Lydia Shepherd

I moved into my current house a little over a year ago. It seemed great at first. The paint was fresh, it had two bathrooms, a kitchen with a bar, spacious attic for storage, everything I wanted.

I learned pretty quickly, though, that most of my house is built on rotten supports. The whole thing’s been termite infested, moldy, and all around disgusting for years as far as I can tell. I didn’t realize the thing was so close to falling apart when I bought the piece of shit.

The fucking realtor did an excellent job of hiding that with fresh paint and concrete slabs under the weakest points in the floorboards. He was a real cheapskate. He did a damn good job of reeling me in, that bastard.

I noticed the “antiquity” of the place when I brought my couch in and the floorboards creaked so bad it sounded like they’d cave in. My last place was a bit creaky too, but this one sounded like you were stepping on a cats tail every time you took a fucking step.

I was already in though, had to deal with it. You actually get used to it after a while. The only time it really gets to me is when I’m in bed and the creaking starts.

I live alone and I don’t have any pets.

What worries me is why the slabs under the floorboards are in a different spot every morning.