Bogleech.com's 2014 Horror Write-off:

" Owen Scott Doctoral Thesis Abridged Interview Number 18 "

Submitted by Brian Shadensack

Thesis Summary: I believe that in treating the homeless population problem purely on a clinical level we have dehumanized the homeless population. Outside of the Psychologist or the Social Workers office I believe that I can show that the we need to treat the homeless population as people, not a statistic, will will lead to helping the homeless population in a more caring and natural way.

For time and location of interview please see appendix A.

Transcript of Interview Number 18

Interviewer: Owen Scott

Interviewee: Jonathan Marcel

Subject had many signs pointing to extreme malnutrition. Open wounds, receding gums, hair loss, and eye discoloration were all noted. Subject stands at roughly six feet one inches and appeared to weigh within the eighty-five to ninety-five pound range. Subject was found begging for money outside a popular bar in the area; when offered food he became visibly agitated. Subject agreed to interview in exchange to a drive to a local homeless shelter citing he was too weak for the walk.

Note on the editing of this transcript: For clarity purposes this transcript has been abridged compared to the original audio log, * marks sections that have been shortened, for an unedited transcript please see Interview Number 18 in Section S5.

-Begin Transcript-

Scott: Mr. Marcel, are you ready to start the interview?

Marcel: I prefer Johnny.

Scott: Alright, Johnny, can you explain what lead to your homelessness.

Marcel: Well before my...uhh...how would I say this...fuck...

Scott: Are you alright?

Marcel: Yea, sorry, sorry; my mind isn't as sharp as it was.

Scott: It’s fine, please continue.

Marcel: Anyways, before my, let's call it my” food problem”, I was actually an accountant, the uhhh...food problem popped up, I couldn't hold down a job and a few years later, and here I am.

Scott: What kind of food problem?

Marcel: Well when I touch food it...well...it, uhh...corrupts.

Scott: Corrupts?

Marcel: Well, it started off simple. Touch it, it rots. I eventually got so hungry I would eaten the rotten food. Then it got worse, things like...shit what’s the word...contaminants...yea thats it...would just appear. Again, I got hungry, a roach here a roach there, I ate them. Then I bit into a muffin and it was full of broken glass, and I screamed and screamed and screamed. There was blood and flesh everywhere. No broken glass though. I dropped the muffin, looked down, and nothing, just a muffin.

Scott: Where did this all happen?

Note: Subject’s continence visibility drops, face visibly reddens, tries to grind teeth but appears to be in pain when he tries.

Marcel: My employers cafeteria...you know...you know what happens when the angry guy, hungry guys starts screaming at a muffin and bleeding everywhere...At least they let me keep my insurance long enough to cover the mental hospital stay. Fucking bastards.

Scott: Are you alright?

Marcel: What?

Scott: Are you fine?

Marcel: Just ask the fucking questions.

Scott: When did this corruption start happening?

Marcel: Well I was walking to work, and I pass by these homeless people...and I pass by these homeless people...and...and...sorry my memories not as good as it was give me a moment...

Scott: That's fine.

Marcel: I pass by these homeless peoples and...and...god my head hurts just thinking of it...and they like...like...give me a moment...

Scott: Take your time.

Marcel: O...ok...so I pass by them and there...they’re eating a dog...at least it looked like a dog...it was... I guess... butchered...but even without the head you could see something was off about it. It was too veiny...like I was a...a good distance away and I could see that it was too veiny. My fucking head...

Scott: Take a breather.

Marcel: What kind of meat has big thick veins!?! It didn’t have any fur either! Dogs don't look like that!

Note: At this point Interviewee punches Interviewer in ear.

Scott: Ow! Calm down! Breathe.

Note: Interviewee is breathing heavily.

Marcel: ** Ok, ok Im done. The dog...the dog...makes me freak out. Sorry man.

Scott: Look I get it, it upset you. You need to breathe.

Marcel: I...I...man give me a moment.

Scott: Alright. I'm gonna grab some stuff alright? Stay here and you'll get your ride to the shelter ok?

Marcel: Ok...ok...

*

Note: Interviewer comes back with a sack with a picture of a burger on it.

Marcel: What the fuck! No, man, no! I was just going calming down! Why would you do that?!

Scott: Calm down, calm down please. I just need you to try something after we hear your story, alright? I'll buy you smokes?

Marcel: Buy me some water. Water doesn't change.

Scott: Ok...ok...

Marcel: Ok so after seeing them eat the uhhh...dog....yea lets just call it that.

Scott: You watched them eat it?

Marcel: I couldn't look away. I wanted to but I just...just couldn't. But after they’re done eating, the big one looks at me. Points like this cleaver, I call it a cleaver but it really wasn’t, and then it went to hell.

Scott: Went to hell?

Marcel: Yea the food things. Like I got into the office, grabbed a bagel. And it tasted off.

Scott: Off?

Marcel: You know, like how I remember food tasted with a head cold. And that goes on, for like some time...

Scott: Then what happened?

Marcel: Some time passes, and I see the same guy. Bleeding out in an alley. There’s like this little old lady crying over him. And he's bleeding out and looks at me, which is weird cause the girl acts like they’re making eye contact. And thats when it gets worse...

Scott: Worse?

Marcel: Yea, like food starts tasting weird...

Scott: Weird? Like you said it already tasted off.

Marcel: The head cold thing didn't go away. but things started tasting like other things. I ate a bagel, right and it would taste like a steak or something. Ate a steak, tasted like...uhhh...cola? So I had to start eating weird food combinations, just so the flavor combination wouldn't make me vomit. I started getting thin. And then a few more weeks pass, I bite a...fuck I don't remember, and its rotten.

Scott: That doesn't seem odd.

Marcel: You don't get it, everything I tried was rotten. I got thinner, eventually ate it anyways.

Scott: And the muffin?

Marcel: Im getting too it, fuck. So after I start being able stomach rotten food, I bite into some bread or something, and its full of roaches. Like live roaches. I vomit. But then, after a while, I get used to things like it. Roaches, maggots, blood, I eat it. But always at home.

Scott: Always at home?

Marcel: Otherwise I’d to get looks. But it gets worse, and worse. And things like thumb tacks, and staples, and fingernails, and the like start showing up. So I stop eating. But one day, I see a muffin, I can't handle it, its been weeks, I bite into it; glass, blood, screaming, fired.

Scott: And then?

Marcel: The Asylum. After I refused to eat in the asylum, they forced fed me, ripped my insides up pretty well. They took stomach content samples, nothing unusual at their end. Put me on a some kind of drip or something. Went septic. They fixed me, until my insurance ran out a bit after that, money a few years after that. Bam the disease.

Scott: The disease?

Marcel: Homelessness.

Scott: Ok…

Note: Interviewer takes a burger out.

Marcel: I changed my mind, no.

Scott: You look like you're about to pass out, you sure?

Marcel: Fuck you.

Scott: Wouldn't you like to have some proof of this corruption on film?

Marcel: No.

Scott: What if I threw in some cigarettes?

Marcel: Stop offering, I don't smoke.

Scott: Multivitamins?

Marcel: They would get corrupted.

Scott: What could convince you?

Marcel: Give me your watch.

Scott: What?

Marcel: Your watch, and a ride, and a gallon of water.

Scott: Uhhh...sure...

Note: Interviewer takes off watch, hands it to Interviewee.

Marcel: Ok, we are going to play by my rules.

Scott: Excuse me?

Marcel: Examine the burger.

Scott: Examine it?

Marcel: Fuck man! Just feel the damn thing, smell it, taste it, examine it! Jesus man.

Scott: Alright…

Note: At this point interviewer unwraps hamburger and gives it a light examination.

Scott: It looks fine.

Marcel: Fuck you, I said examine it!

Note: Interviewer sighs, takes top bun of hamburger off.

Scott: Looks fine.

Marcel: Now the bottom.

Scott: Really?

Marcel: Do I sound like I’m joking?

Scott: Jeez...

Note: Interviewer returns top bun, removes bottom bun, notes its fine, returns bottom bun.

Scott: It looks fine.

Marcel: Fine, hand it over.

Note: Interviewer hands over hamburger. Upon a quick look interviewee doesn't do anything with hamburger.

Marcel: Now watch. Huh...

Scott: See, it’s fine Johnny.

Marcel: Aha, there it is.

Note: Interviewee removes top bun of hamburger and proceeds to pull a roughly 2 inch shard of jagged glass from hamburger patty.

Scott: What? I must have missed it, I need to return it to the Five Guys where I got it.

Marcel: Wait, just wait and watch. Look.

Note: Interviewee drops shard of glass, where upon hitting the ground it lands with a wet thud* Camera pans down to reveal that where the glass would have hit is a roughly two inch long segment of cooked ground beef. Camera pans up to see Interviewee overcome with what seems to be a mix of joy and anger.

Marcel: See I told you...I told you didn’t I?

Scott: I...I'm speechless. What...it must be some kind of trick.

Marcel: Thats right, I’m a magic hobo. A magic hobo thats starving to death, its part of my act. You see...you’re a fucking idiot.

Scott: I...I...I...Let's...let's just go and get you to the home.

Marcel: I want my water.

Scott: I won't forget your water, but before you go can I see the burger?

Note: Interviewee hands meat patty to Interviewer,who examines the top which appears to be normal, with two inch hole in the center.

Scott: Can you show me that again, before we go of course.

Marcel: Ok...ok, give me the burger.

Note: Interviewer starts handing Interviewee the hamburger, however, once the interviewer touches it, a small scorpion crawls out of the hamburger.Interviewer panics, flings hamburger and scorpion onto ground. Both of which land with a wet splat.

Scott: Son of a bitch! Where is it, where is it?!?

Marcel: Why don't you look?

Scott: I'm not touching it! I hate scorpions!

Marcel: Well I'm not touching it for different reasons.

Camera Operator: Fuck, I’ll do it.

Note: Camera Operator proceeds to nudge the bun off hamburger, there is no sign of the scorpion.

Camera Operator: There...Jesus Owen can you try being professional.

Scott: Lets just go and give Marcel here a ride. Is it alright if we keep rolling during the ride Marcel?

Marcel: Yeah, but I'm getting too tired to talk.

Note: The tape is continues as they drive Marcel to the homeless shelter. Upon Marcel receiving the gallon of water it turns brackish and rust colored. Marcel begins weeping. At this point the tape cuts prematurely.

-End Transcript-