Bogleech.com's 2014 Horror Write-off:
" Owen Scott Doctoral Thesis Abridged Interview Number 25 "
Submitted by Brian Shadensack
Thesis Summary: I believe that in treating the homeless population problem purely on a clinical level we have dehumanized the homeless population. Outside of the Psychologist or the Social Workers office I believe that I can show that the we need to treat the homeless population as people, not a statistic, will will lead to helping the homeless population in a more caring and natural way.
For time and location of interview please see appendix A.
Transcript of Interview Number 25
Interviewer: Owen Scott
Interviewee: Joe Smith
Subject appears to be slightly intoxicated and shows the physical signs of alcoholism. Subject is five foot 4 inches tall and appears to be slightly overweight. Subject has swelling of the hands, possibly attributed to his alcohol intake. Subject also has Telangiectasias of the cheeks and nose, again possibly due to alcohol intake. Subject was found panhandling in a popular tourist area and agreed to an interview upon being asked.
Note on the editing of this transcript: For clarity purposes this transcript has been abridged compared to the original audio log, * marks sections that have been shortened, for an unedited transcript please see Interview Number 25 in Section S5.
Scott: Alright, Mr.Smith when did you start drinking?
Joe: Call me Joe, and I don't drink.
Scott: Alright, Joe. Well the reason I asked about the drinking is that you are obviously intoxicated at this time.
Joe: Oh, I know. Right, but I don't drink. I have never drank. My father’s life was ruined by alcohol. So I have never touched the stuff.
Scott: Why don't you drink?
Joe: Never seemed too appealing. Like, ok “never” is a stretch, I tried once or twice in my life. Didn't like the taste. I think it would have interfered with my job too. I mean, like, a lot of people in my line of work did drink, did drugs.
Scott: Where did you work?
Joe: I'm not supposed to say.
Scott: Why not?
Joe: It was classified.
Joe: Yea, it was dangerous to me if that information got out.
Scott: So its not now?
Joe: I don't know....
Scott: So it would be fine if the information got out now?
Joe: Well I don't want any other sufferers from knowing...
Joe: Man you interrupt a lot don't you? Yea people who suffer from the disease.
Scott: And by disease you mean?
Joe: Homelessness. Anyways I don't want them to know what my job was, like these people are my only friends left.
Scott: No other homeless person will know, I give you my word.
Note: Interviewee appears to be agitated.
Joe: Am I supposed to believe that? Some educated son of a bitch comes in and starts pushing me around...
Scott: I'm not pushing you around.
Joe: And now he tells me I'm wrong, you know what I'm going for a walk, fuck you.
Note: Interviewee starts walking off. Interviewer starts to follow. Interviewer is at this point yelling this from afar at interviewee.
Scott: Hey, lets finish this!
Joe: No, fuck o…
Note:Interviewee trips off of curve and falls. After which interviewer and camera operator rush to interviewee's side.
Scott: Hey man you alright, do you need help?
Joe: Yea, just yea. Urgh, my face.
Note: Interviewee rolls over and other than a nose bleed appears to be fine.
Scott: Good...wait, what's wrong with your nose?
Joe: What do you mean?
Scott: Its bleeding, but that doesn't appear to be blood. Quick, zoom in on that.
Note: Camera zooms in on Interviewee's face, while interviewee's nose is bleeding the liquid coming out doesn't appear to be blood, it instead appears to be a amber color and not as nearly viscous.
Joe: Get away from me...
Scott: What is that?
Scott: I can smell it from here, smells like whiskey.
Joe: Well its blood.
Scott: Are... are you bleeding whiskey...
Joe: What are you going to taste it?
Camera Operator: I will.
Note: At this point you can see the camera operator start to reach for Joe.
Scott: What? No.
Joe: Ok, ok...Just don't touch me. How would I say this and not sound crazy? I bleed whiskey...I told you I never drank.
Scott: Wait, you have whiskey for blood.
Joe: I never said that, I just bleed the stuff. Though it wouldn't surprise me if its in my veins. This cannot get out.
Scott: Alright, why not?
Joe: Fuck man, they'd bleed me dry.
Joe: The other sufferers.
Scott: Alright...if you don't mind me asking, when did you uhhh...start bleeding whiskey?
Joe: Well, now that this secret is out I guess there's no reason to keep the other one, but this does not uhhh...how would I say this....this does not become common or hell uncommon knowledge in any other sufferers.
Joe: Well the reason I never drank was because I was an undercover cop. Not vice, not like drugs. No I was an undercover sufferer. Hit the gay clubs when theres a rapist about, act like a rube when someones ripping people off, move into a shitty apartment for a month to prove that the landlords a shit head. My last posting, though, was the strangest. Chief looks at me, right, looks at me and tells me I need to be homeless. Now homeless on homeless violence, or uhhh...lets just call them "regular person"...fuck man that sounds ugly...on homeless people cops don't give a shit, right. But we had reports on homeless on uhhhh..."regular person" violence and the cops weren't having it.
Scott: So there was a rash of attacks on the non homeless?
Joe: Yea, and the weird part it was all linked back to this one guy...fuck what was his name...
Scott: Take your time, its fine.
Joe: Well no shit its fine...but fuck...his name was...fuck....his name was Sean! Yea, Sean. Like supposedly this guy named Sean was attacking "regular people", right. But thats not the weird part, the weapon never changed, it was like a big meat cleaver, but no witnesses ever gave like similar descriptions of the attacks. Like the scars and wounds were definitely caused by a cleaver or something, but fuck, without witnesses we had nothing to go to. So bam they set me up to be homeless.
Scott: And so did you ever meet Sean?
Joe: No, like maybe, shit I don't know. It gets blurry. I was homeless for like two days, or weeks, or months. I remember, I remember I met his uhhh...girlfriend we'll call it...I...I...don't remember her name. And she's like "He's going to feed us tonight, you should come, friends are important." So I go, right. And its a shit show...like people are huddled together...talking to Sean, right? But no ones there, and then the meat comes out. Except nothings there, right? And people are like oh god we're going to eat that? But there's nothing there. And then I hear it. The thunk, like meat be cut, and the gurgle of something being drained. And I look down at where everyones looking, and still nothing. And there acting like its just a regular dinner, and I'm just kind of dumbfounded. And the girl looks at me, and actually says "You're being rude, take it." So I take it, and suddenly there's meat in my hand...
Scott: Did, did you eat it?
Joe: I shouldn't have, but I did. It, it tasted like dog. I...I...I don't know why I know that. But I eat it, and feel weird. Like a bit weird. And I go back to the station, give them my account. And they breathalyzer me. I show up like fuck I don't know. Not quite drunk, but definitely been drinking. So chief tells me to go home, its been a hard time. I've got some paid time off, I should take it. So I do. And I never feel like not funny. So I take my paid time off. And I just keep getting meaner and meaner, right? So my wife and I start fighting, and one day I go for a walk. And you know what I see?
Joe: I see the girl, and she's weeping about how he's been stabbed. How Sean's been stabbed. But theres no one there. She's just looking into pure blank space, and crying. And talking about oh god he's been stabbed. But theres like nobody there. And and, I vomited. In the middle of the street. And I get picked up by the cops, my cops. And brought into my station. And blow in one of my breathalyzers, and I'm drunk. Not buzzed, drunk. So my chief brings me in, says basically between my “obvious break” and my drunkenness that I wasn't an effective cop anymore...bullshit.
Scott: By obvious break you mean psychological?
Joe: Yea, I told him about the meat appearing out of nowhere, and the people acting like someone was there when no one was and all that. So like I get home, and I feel like shit, and my wifes there. And I tell her, and we get on it, and she throws a plate at me. Right? And it catches my arm, and gashes it open. And we both look down and there's whiskey pouring out of it. So I run and I run, and that's the last I saw of her. Its been...fuck I don't know. Fuck...
Scott: Ever think about going back to her.
Note interviewee is getting agitated and loud.
Joe: I tried, but I was...I am homeless and a drunk. And then, then...she fucking moved man! Like I don't have kids. The banks accounts were in her name, she took care of all of it, I was always at work, away for so long, so fucking long, and she just leaves me, no job, no money. That bitch!
Note: At this point interviewee is loud enough to garner the attention of a nearby police officer.
Officer: Hey Joe, you causing trouble.
Joe: No sir.
Scott: He's really not.
Officer: You drunk again Joe? Looks like you just got over a nosebleed.
Joe: Go away.
Scott: I can take care of it.
Officer: I don't think that's a good idea, come with me Joe.
Joe: I don't want too.
Officer: Come on, lets go get you some warm food and a place to stay for the night.
Joe: Warm food?
Officer: Yea, lets go. And turn that camera off.
Note: Tape Cuts