's 2014 Horror Write-off:

" My Toilet Bit Me "

Submitted by Samuel Miller

My toilet bit me today. It was extremely painful, like someone shoving millions of needles into my butt. I jumped up, tearing the skin on my behind, as the john began screaming for more food. After bandaging up my heiny, I came back and because of my curiousity shoved a whole raw steak into the toilet bowl. It bit my hand, but most of the yellowing, needle-like teeth went into the red meat, and a bright green tongue cam out of the bottom of the bowl, licking it. I then proceeded to put more foods into the creature's porcelain maw, and while most it scarfed down, some were vomited up with force. It asks for meatier and meatier foods each time.

Today I continued my experiments. After a while, I went out and hunted a rabbit for the monstrous loo. I came back and shoved the rodent into the bowl, and it scrabbled at it with glee. I pour insects into its mouth and give it the juiciest cuts of meat. I am only eating beef jerky and twinkies now. However, no matter the cost, I must continue.

It is now eating whole live squirrels and rabbits now. The top of its body has grown many large, black and moist eyes and veins are appearing on the sides of the bowl. Black ropes of mildew and blood twist up the body of the porcelain throne. I do not use the toilet for waste anymore. It would be insulting.

I now give it bowls of rabbit stew mixed with my blood. Frog legs are quite popular, as are whole lobsters and crabs. I have shoveled into it whole crates of clams and oysters. The inside of the bowl is becoming more flesh-like, and the bottom of the toilet is growing short black tentacles. It can speak in a clearer voice now, more understandable than its previous screams and shrieks. I think it got this from me caressing it and reading to it at night.

I fed a child to the toilet. He came to my house believing that I was a friend. I stuffed him into the toothy maw of the john, as the toilet laughed and laughed, petting me with one of its long balck tentacles. I will do anything for the toilet.

It has asked for me today. I must do everything for the toilet. It is now almost mobile, kept in place only by a thin but strong meaty stem. The black tentacles are becoming thicker and longer, and it has sprouted long and thin arachnid legs under its body. It can speak just like a person now, and I attempt to hold conversations with it at night, but it rarely responds in worthwile comments. It only ever asks for food. I must go feed myself to the toilet now. Goodbye.

BREAKING NEWS: Recent reports have been coming in about the disappearnces and possible murders of dozens of people in the city. The first to disappear was a mister Alan Fordis, followed by several children and even a few adults. It is assumed that these disappearances and possible murders are not serial in any nature, but the same short figure wearing a trench coat was seen at each location before and after the reported times of the disappearances. No physical descriptions have been sent in as of yet. Keep in an eye out for this individual.