's 2014 Horror Write-off:

" Natozine "

Submitted by Jared Ludy

5/17/08, from the blog of “Daniel Gomez”

-About two days ago, i got what’s supposedly a very high profile item from my drug dealer, rick. He told me that it was a real exotic sort of deal, something that you can usually only get in places like Taiwan or Turkey. He said it was called “Natozine” and is usually only known among more underground operations, like the mob, or high profile drug rings. Apparently, it’s supposed to freak out your senses and give you some sort of “unforgettable” high. “This shit will make you lose it man. when you’re done with it you’ll be lucky if you’ve still got all your fingers!.” he said. He went on to tell me some sort of conspiracy garbage about how the government secretly distributes it and uses it in these weird experiments and shit. uh huh, sure.

Anyway, he sold it to me for about 15 bucks (yeah, pretty high profile, I know.) and i thought i’d give it a try. Since this stuff is apparently such a huge deal, i decided i’d document my experience with it. I laid out a little schedule with intervals every half-hour for me to jot down an entry, which should be fairly frequently throughout the night. Usually I’m not too into harder drugs, like, I tried LSD in college once, but that’s about it. wasn’t too fun. So, if all goes according to plan, this should add up to a pretty interesting experience.

-8:00 PM: Well, now’s as good a time to start as any. I’ve just taken a sip of the Natozine. he said that i wouldn’t need very much, so, here goes.

-8:30 PM: Nothing yet. This better pick up soon.

-9:00 PM: Starting to think that this shit was a huge ripoff. At most, it basically just feels like shitty weed. I’m going for another sip.

-9:30 PM: shit. that’s different. i feel all light, and dizzy, but in a good way, like i’m flying around the night sky, and there’s a fire in my belly to keep me warm.. lots of colors too. like, shades of purple and orange i’ve never even seen before.. damn, this really is some good shit.

-10:00PM: things gettin crazy now. tiny animasls running around my house, all over the furniture, no idea what they supposed to be even. they got human lookin eyes tho, n lots of hair an lookj like monkey-dogs. also theres these clustrs of bubbles all on the walls and shit. colors are even crazier. almost flashig

-10_30pm: fyuck man. the animals are all hiding under stuff, nd now theres a bunch of heavy breathing. it that me? i sound like an elk. colors are giving a bad vibe now thogh, like harsh reds, and blues, but like, bad lones, like people suffocaying. mi think i can breath alright though. nother thing, way mor bubbles now.

-1130pm: Ithink my lungs aer numb. liekt theyr gonna fall out of me and float away,like that. can i fly with my lungfs? likre a hoty air balloon? animals are shivering and snarlign, i dont want then to bite me. no WAYTThayt breathings mine anmore. these bubblees are yellow now and i thing they’re floodin the place.

-1200pm - my bellys swelling with he fire now.. i think it’s leakring out of my nozse... noises are hurtin now. gonna throw up from itscratchinging my throat. tis isdm’t going so well . i might drown in thse bubbls. myb eyes hurt from the colors can;t even recognixe them animore. the breating got louder when my basemnt door opened. sometings coming up adn the animals are crying and rotting aall ovr.rottingh and screaming. rotting and screaming rotting and scrweming. rottiingin and screaming., rottig nd

-123009: isss lickig me. leatherd skin, ddog teeth, snake tongu, bull hornsd, spindl fingres t, lizar\rd claws,, moiust,,, it’s chewning my thighs an hholdsing mey down. eatihgn me out hollow an sTARing at me deep. looking rigt at me twith those EYES THOSE EYES THOSE EYES THOSE EYES THOSR EYEWS YYEEYsssss

-1am: hidin.. it can’t find me. i jhoep i wrote what it felltd down. nust nevr forget it. it knows me and i knoe it. if ell sick. don’t know te colours anymoe. they burn s. sty in dark. stay in drk. thiis od a whiltn urb

-1345: rats ar hidng in my belllyu now. warmn in muy innrds fore them.

-12555nem: arfnisd…….. ilsk. viners grd me to drfg alsik. erh tonb en onble. sso ALONE.

-1:9y: is FOUND ME!!!!!!!yEGs!! yyytEEEEEEEEES!!!!

-0000000000___: Vio Teljum sarsaukann sem forfaoir okkar, vegna pess ao pengar en litio a guo, sagoi hann, “eg se ekki ljosio, eg veit ekki eldi, og eg heyri ekki oskur.”

-1:6ubj: Wen did i learnh to speakj Icelandic?

-2:7yty: its stranglan my braiyiin wift its tail. finshed eatinh meh awasy. tookk my leggs.

-3:30am: cant get of ground. my heads too fst for me nd the violation has seethed mmy veins. eYES burn, sweating, pressre. presssssuuure. slimey meatl-lokkin things crawlig aroun. swimmnin in the bubles. those wrms know the truth.

-8/29/08. Daniel’s blog

Sorry for the hiatus guys. i didn’t mean to worry you all like that. I’ll give you guys an update in a couple of days.


-Alright, so i’m typing this on my phone in the hospital right now. Apparently, the morning after my little excursion, the authorities found me shirtless on the side of an overpass near the woods, covered in sweat and my blood. both of my legs are badly broken and I’m missing a huge chunk of flesh from my arm. So far they’ve treated me for dehydration, blood loss, nerve damage, paranoia, lacerations to my chest, arms, back, face, scalp and waist, heart palpitations and a laundry list of other shit, including, oddly enough, altitude sickness. They also said that my legs are completely paralyzed, and that i’ll never walk again. at 31 no less. i cried and cried, and my mom did too after i told her. I have no idea what the fuck happened that night, and to be truthful, i don’t even wanna know. i keep on having nightmares about shit like being chased by dead people or drowning in toads. I’ve been in this room for 4 months now and they’re STILL trying to put me back together. about a week after the incident, some FBI guys came in here and asked me questions about my night and i told them everything i knew, which in hindsight would’ve probably been a bad move unless i wanted to land myself in prison. they told me not to worry though, that i won’t be charged and that “this sort of thing happens all the time.” yeah, sure. what i do know is that they arrested my dealer and that sick bastard is gonna be away for a while. so bottom line, this was probably the most insane experience of my life.

god, i can still feel that weird ass tingle i’ve been getting since then. like slugs crawling all over my body. it never completely stops either. fuckin never. doctor said he’s pretty sure it never will, on account of the nerve damage. damn. as soon as i get home, that stupid bottle’s headed right for the fuckin trash.

I asked Rick a few more questions about the stuff before he went away.

He told me that it could only be harvested from human corpses.

Fresh ones.