Bogleech.com's 2016 Horror Write-off:
SURGERYBOT LOG
Submitted by
Hisham Hasan
WELCOME TO SURGERYBOT 5000 V1.3
HOW MAY I HELP YOU?
EMERGENCY PROCEDURE
FOREIGN OBJECT IN COLON
SCANNING
PATIENT: SCIENCE OFF. OLIVER YAMAGUCHI
ID NO: 11622396
AGE: 33
SEX: MALE
SCAN: LARGE FOREIGN OBJECT IN UPPER ASCENDING COLON
L: 32 CM W: 5.6 CM
SCAN SUGGESTS OBJECT DENSE, MULTIPLE CYSTS, EXTENSIVE ARTERIAL SUPPLY
QUERY: TUMOR
PULSE DETECTED
HEARTBEAT DETECTED
QUERY: FETUS/TERATOMA/???
QUERY: ECTOPIC PREGNANCY
OBJECT SIZE/DENSITY RULES OUT LAPROSCOPY
SUGGESTED PROCEDURE: OPEN ABDOMINAL SURGERY
SUGGESTED ANAESTHESIA: EPIDURAL
OK
ANES. APPLIED
V/S OK
STABLE
COMMENCE
CUTANEOUS INCISION
SUBC. INCISION
SPREAD
OK
PERITONIEUM INCISION
ASCENDING COLON LOCATED
OBJECT LOCATED
COLONIC INSCISION
EXPLORE TRACT
ERROR
RESCAN
ERROR
WIDESCAN
OBJECT RELOCATED
TRANSVERSE COLON
REPAIR ASCENDING COLON INCISION
FLUSH ABDOMINAL CAVITY
OPEN EXPLORATORY INCISION
TRANSVERSE COLON LOCALIZED
OBJECT LOCATED
COLONIC INCISION
EXPLORE TRACT
ERROR
RESCAN
ERROR
WIDESCAN
OBJECT RELOCATED
DESCENDING COLON
REPAIR TRANSVERSE COLONIC INCISION
FLUSH ABDOMINAL CAVITY
DESCENDING COLON LOCALIZED
OBJECT LOCATED
COLONIC INCISION
EXPLORE TRACT
ERROR
RESCAN
OBJECT FREE IN ABDOMINAL CAVITY
ERROR
RESCAN
ERROR
WIDESCAN
STOMACH PERFORATED
OBJECT RELOCATED
STOMACH
COMMENCE GENERAL ANAESTHESIA
AIRWAY INSERTED
O2 STARTED
P: 122
V/S OK
COMMENCE
STOMACH LOCALIZED
OBJECT LOCATED
START INCISION ALONG GREATER CURVATURE FROM PERFORATION SITE
ERROR
RESCAN
ERROR
WIDESCAN
DIAPHRAGMEAL RUPTURE
CARDIA RUPTURE
ESOPHAGEAL RUPTURE
HYPOTENSION
TACHYCARDIA
HYPOVOLEMIC SHOCK
INITIATE LIFESAVING MEASURES
COMMENCE TRANSFUSIONS
CALL SURGEON
CALL SURGEON
CALL SURGEON
INITIATE LIFESAVING INTERVENTION
COMMENCE OPEN CHEST SURGERY
THORACATOMY
RIBCAGE FIXED
DELPOY HEMOSTATICS
ESOPHAGEAL REPAIR
ARREST HEMMORHAGE
V/S CRITICAL
RESCAN
PERFORATED HEART
PUNCTURED LT LUNG
INITIATE REPAIR
PRIORITIZE CARDIAC/VASCULAR REPAIR
CALL SURGEON
CALL SURGEON
CALL SURGEON
REPAIR
CARDIAC/VASCULAR SYSTEMS
CALL SURGEON
CALL SURGEON
CALL SURGEON
REPAIR
CARDIAC/VASCULAR SYSTEMS
CALL SURGEON
CALL SURGEON
CALL SURGEON
REPAIR
CARDIAC/VASCULAR SYSTEMS
CALL SURGEON
CALL SURGEON
CALL SURGEON
REPAIR
LT LUNG
VASCULAR
CALL SURGEON
CALL SURGEON
CALL SURGEON
REPAIR
LT LUNG
VASCULAR
CALL SURGEON
CALL SURGEON
CALL SURGEON
REPAIR
LT LUNG
VASCULAR
CALL SURGEON
CALL SURGEON
CALL SURGEON
REPAIR
ESOPHAGUS
VASCULAR
CALL SURGEON
CALL SURGEON
CALL SURGEON
REPAIR
ESOPHAGUS
DIAPHRAGM
VASCULAR
CALL SURGEON
CALL SURGEON
CALL SURGEON
REPAIR
ESOPHAGUS
DIAPHRAGM
STOMACH
VASCULAR
CALL SURGEON
CALL SURGEON
CALL SURGEON
V/S STABILIZING
HEART SIZE INCREASED BY 190%
COMMENCE RIBCAGE RESTRUCTURING TO ALLOW CLOSURE
RESTRUCTURING
RIBCAGE CLOSED
REPAIR BODYWALL
REPAIR SKIN
RESCAN
FULLBODY SCAN
OBJECT RELOCATED
CHEST CAVITY
OBJECT ATTACHED TO HEART AND SURROUNDING STRUCTURES
OBJECT SHARES CIRCULATION WITH HEART AND SURROUNDING VESSELS
OBJECT REMOVAL FATAL TO PATIENT
RECOMMENDATION: LEAVE FOREIGN OBJECT IN SITU
RECOMMEND REVALUATION
REFERRAL TO CARDIAC SURGERY
TRANSFER TO ICU
MONITOR V/S
THANK YOU
WE HOPE YOU GET WELL SOON