's 2016 Horror Write-off:

The Hooligans: a taste of medicine

Submitted by Jac R. B. (Jacobguy)

I was only In for a routine checkup when it all happened.

Let me start from the beginning.

I was just checking up with my Usual Doctor, you know the usual, Physical exam, height, weight, all the pressures and that you know.

my doctor said that it, and I quote, "Looked beautiful"

I was the perfect image of health, If a bit overweight.

It only started going wrong when My physician said something "looked funny" on my charts. said it was so small of a problem that it was nothing to worry about.

he left the room for what felt like HOURS. I wished and wished he'd get back to let me go home and hit the bed so i could have an early day from waitressing until it occurred to me that with how long he's taking, there could be something seriously wrong.

it felt so long i almost could have sworn it was an entire day up when I first heard something from out in the hall.

"mmrmrmaaAND THhHEEeeen WEE pUT IT BACK IN!"

it sounded like a distorted voice filtered through what I could only describe as "wet radio static", and their statement, seemingly a joke or a funny anecdote, was followed by a single laugh from the same source, seemingly ignorant of either their loneliness or the lack of humor in their own statement.

My door creaked open and in came my new "Doctor"

it was shaped like a man, a man made of that Jelly they put in petridishes and completely choked FULL of a rainbow of different germ colonies, a notable one being in the shape of a throbbing heart. what made it stand out was how it's color changed like a chameleonic kaleidoscope. it wore nothing except a simple, perfectly white labcoat.

"wwwwwWWWWWWWEEEEELLL MISSYYYY...., YOUUUUUUUUUUU haventbeentakingyourmedicine"'

I sat in an awe for a moment, before saying as sheepishly as I could,

"Uhm, Are you sure you have the right room-"


it waggled it's bacteria laden jell-o finger at me with that one.


And before you ask, I dont know how but I could hear the tilde in its voice.

but whats More important is the NEXT thing to walk through that door.

It was a Nurse alright, Or at least it was kinda dressed like one, the coat it wore was much more revealing than I'd expect from a real nurse, and despite being the same kind of being as the doctor it was different in two ways.

1: it was Very Distinctly female in that it looked like an enemy from a videogame. it was like, a "Sexy nurse monster" I cant remember what the game was. God what was it...

and 2: its midriff was horribly distended much farther than any human would be able to be with such a frame. Inside the Gel of its body I could see an organ-like colony similar to the Doctor's "heart". the only difference was this was Huge and in their stomach area.

as the nurse shuffled awkwardly in i felt a deep wave of revulsion as it spat up what looked like a giant capsule pill into the Doctor's hand. Inside the clear half of the capsule you could see something large squirming inside. It was blobby looking, and had either lots of wet hair, or lots of thin legs or tentacles. whatever it was, I didnt want it inside of me.


and to that I said, "Fuck you"

I toppled the awkwardly shaped "Nurse" onto the doctor and ran, but the office i was in was so much different, It seemed to be a hospital now, full of exam rooms and wings and the like.

God all of them are their own flavor of weird.

Some sort of dolphin was soaking in some sort of goo(?)

A little kid with a GIGANTIC fist was having their Blood pressure taken, with their fist getting bigger with each pump like a joke.

some sort of weird, random dude inside a taffy stretcher.

but god. god when i got to the maternity ward...

I-I couldnt handle it, I threw up right then and there... I cant tell you how horrible it is, all i can say is that you DO NOT want to know what is going on there. I'm fighting off the urge to puke again just from the thought.

It was roughly around this time that I heard the Doctor's voice again,


I caught a small glance of the doctor as I rounded the corner. He was followed by his nurse, and many more normally shaped nurses as well.

I duck into an empty exam room and stuffed myself into a closet, listening to them go by...... the doctor....those nurses........

the nurses.....





oh fuck

they heard me