Bogleech.com's 2016 Horror Write-off:
The Hooligans: hurtz doughnut
Jac R. B. (Jacobguy)
There was a young man sitting on their porch in the late evening when he spotted something odd.
A child, no older than 7, running into the forest.
He thought to himself that no one he could recall had a child within miles of his home, but he thought that things like that change all the time, and even then, a child this young shouldn't be out this late. So he left in pursuit of this young boy.
He caught up rather quickly, but could only trail behind them, as though the child was always one step ahead or was somehow being carried farther than their steps should be taking them. That was, at least, until they stopped in the middle of a clearing.
They stopped, with their back turned to the young man, who finally asked them who they were. The boy did not respond. Instead, they asked him a simple question.
"Would you like a hurtz doughnut?"
The young man, remembering this old joke quite fondly, and thinking that the small child could never have the strength to hurt them plays along, hoping that complying will get them answers.
The child only slowly turns around, snickering as their fist begins to horribly inflate, and rise impossibly high into the air. The young man was frozen in place, by fear or some unearthly force he does not know. He can only stare as the massive fist then comes down upon him.
There is a crunch, and then a splat.
The young boy lifts his monumental hand as it deflates, revealing but a red stain in the grass where the young man once stood, only to utter a single phrase;
"Hurts, don't it?"