's 2017 Horror Write-off:

Bein' The Big One

Submitted by Nikko

so ya gotta lil brother huh

hoo boy

hoo boy don't I ever know how that can be

lemme guess

is he always gettin in yer stuff

yeah don't i know it

wrigglin his way into all yer piles

messin up the order

next thing you know you got all yer juices runnin outta their holders

and ya can't have that

and he's-

lemme just take another guess here tell me if i'm wrong

he's always askin if he can borrow yer tubes

the good ones ya really worked on

he's got his own tubes but of course he needs yours to do his slurpin

he can't possibly be bothered to slurp with his own perfectly good tubes


there's beasts in the vent he says how bout this one

there's beasts in the vent he says

and you go in the vent to check out all these beasts

there's no beasts

it was just another sneak lookin for old chunks

and he wants ya to choke the sneak

ya dont gotta choke the sneak that ain't necessary

just wrap him up in a rag and roll him down the hill

he knows not to come back

don't gotta be cruel

and of course you gotta use yer own rag

from yer own pile

gotta wring the juices out of it

gotta go to all the trouble of puttin on your old dry arms

so you dont get the nice ones all covered in juices

he coulda used his own rag but he wants you to do it

eh thats what its all about though i suppose

bein the big one

gotta be there for em

gotta help him clean his pegs

change his brains at night

make sure he's been keepin his muscles wet

somebody's gotta teach him so he knows how to do it when he expands


listen to me go on and on

what's this old fool talkin about

i cant speak for you

your shape's all different anyway

probably goes different on your hill