's 2017 Horror Write-off:

Don't you hate it when...

Submitted by Anonymous

Don't you hate it when you walk into a room and then forget why you entered it in the first place? Or when you put something down, like your keys, and then immediately forget where you put them? Don't you hate it when that happens? And when, as you stand stewing in your own confusion, trying to collect your scattered thoughts, you notice that three-armed man perched in the corner of the room and just laughing at you? Isn't that just the worst?

And when he begins to climb down the wall (were they on the counter? behind the fruit bowl?) and skitters across the floor (maybe you were getting your sunglasses?) and starts making that awful gurgling noise while extending his six-inch tongue in your direction, and you realize your keys were in his mouth the entire time-- man, that sucks!

And then, as you reach for the keys stuck to the tip of that glistening pink tongue, he lashes out with his third arm and grabs you by the ear, pulling you into an intimate embrace and whispering the exact circumstances of your death, all while slowly licking your face, allowing the cold metal of the keys to leave impressions on your cheek. Haven't we all been there!

And while you squirm feebly against his wiry grip, another much smaller man climbs out of his mouth and into yours while the three-armed man continues to whisper to you in friendly and slightly menacing tones, and you feel an uncomfortable squirming sensation in your gut as the small man shifts around, pressing his hands and feet into the walls of your stomach and raking his fingers down its acid-lined walls. And then a third arm bursts from your chest like a weed, grabs your keys off the other man's tongue, crushing them into a shapeless lump, and your remaining limbs begin to move of their own accord, piloting you into the corner of the room as the other man's third arm recedes into his chest and his skin begins to shift. And while you sit in the now unmoving prison of flesh and bone you call a body, the other man's appearance warps like paint being mixed until his features resemble yours, and he looks around in confusion while a hollow laugh begins to emanate from your treacherous lips, drowning out the screaming of your inner thoughts as you begin to stick out your tongue. Don't you hate it when that happens?