's 2017 Horror Write-off:

You Got the Jitters

Submitted by The Bee Keeper

Iiiiiiii... du...du.du.du.DON'T! I don't... KNOW!! Thu.thu.thi. THIS! Happened to me.

[Subject begins grasping a pen.]

[Subject repeatedly fails to hold pen, with motor control impaired by minor convulsions.]

[Subject places pen between teeth and tries writing in this manner.]

Message 01: J toucch thImgs and they they tumn browm Doctor Meegwa: When did you become aware of this? Message 02: Help Doctor Meegwa: Please elaborate upon your situation. We cannot provide proper treatment otherwise.

[Subject becomes visibly agitated and bangs head into table three (3) consecutive times]

[A new sheet of paper is provided by Doctor Meegwa]

Message 03: I turn things since lost month? Subject: Iiii... CAN'T... uh. RE! Member.

[Pen falls from subject's lips as they vocalize.]

[Subject repeatedly attempts to gently grasp the pen with shaking hands and fails.]

Doctor Meegwa: I think that's more than enough for one day. Subject: AHHHHHHHHH!!!

[Subject begins screaming and crying.]

Doctor Meegwa: I said that's enough!

[Doctor Meegwa stands up and is visibly irate.]

Subject: He.he.he.he. HELP! He.he.he. Doctor Meegwa: If you cannot behave like a civilized human being then I cannot treat you as such. Let alone... help you. If such is even possible, given your unusual predicament.

[Subject launches themselves across the table and tears fiercely at Doctor Meegwa's hazmat suit, eventually puncturing it with his right thumb and middle finger. Subject presses their fingers against Doctor Meegwa's face.]

Recovery notes: Subject was successfully re-contained. Doctor Meegwa's body was properly stored in the morgue. Due to the unfortunate nature of his corpse, it was necessary to use the hazardous materials mops and approved reagent absorbent (Dr. Elsey's Precious Cat Ultra Clumping Cat Litter). Spectral analysis revealed Doctor Meegwa's remains to be composed of 0.04% human DNA consistent with his medical records and 99.96% previously undocumented isomers of methylxanthine class stimulants.