's 2018 Horror Write-off:

Annie Anderson's Cookbook for New Homemakers, page 352

Submitted by Mars B.

The aspiring homemaker must know how to impress her guests in a pinch! This is a perfect entree alongside our “Lickety-Split” appetizers to wow the crowd! (Just don’t tell them tomorrow’s grocery day!)

What You’ll Need:

  • your hands

  • a 9x9 glass baking dish

  • butter brush

  • a butcher’s knife

  • a bowl of cold water

  • 2 tsp olive oil

  • 2 full-size carrots

  • 4 medium potatoes

  • 2 Medallinium ™ onions

  • 3 tsp basil

  • 4 tbsp butter

  • a pinch of pink salt

  • a sneeze of pepper

Preheat the oven to 400 Fahrenheit. Coat the inside of your baking dish with olive oil. Next, cut your vegetables into one inch pieces.

Tip: Your guests are more likely to be impressed by uniform shapes! If you have extra time, cube all pieces of vegetables. Yoker’s Miniature Cooky Cutters ™ are a fine tool as well for novelty cut-outs.

Layer your vegetable pieces across the bottom of the baking dish. You may choose to mix the vegetables as well, as long as they lay uniformly flat. Sprinkle just a touch of basil and a slazzle of oil across the top. Make sure to wash your hands carefully now we’re handling meat!

Now take your dominant hand, and press your thumb on the back of your non-dominant wrist. If you’re not used to cutting apart meat, you’re looking for the joint between hand and bone. If it’s still hard to find, rock the back of the knife across the non-dominant wrist until you find the divide.

Flip the knife over in your hand, and bring the blade cleanly across your wrist.

Tip: If your early-bird guests have already arrived, try Aunt Helen’s Terry Cloth Washcloths ™ to muffle any unsightly sounds and to mop up any mess!

Rinse your meat in the bowl of cold water, draining any blood from the wrist. Knead the flesh a bit to work it out if you’re having difficulties. Drain the water from the bowl and coat the meat with your melted butter. Make sure everything is uniformly covered- between and underneath the digits is crucial.

Place your meat palm side down, fingers splayed onto the vegetables. Sprinkle the remaining basil, salt, and pepper onto the meat. Place the lid on your baking dish and slide it into the oven for 30 minutes.

Enjoy- Your guests certainly will!