Bogleech.com's 2018 Horror Write-off:
Submitted by Halcyon
Gwen was standing next to a the cardboard display. It showed a regular human holding up some cheesy looking movie and pointing at it with an enthusiasm that definitely wasn't fake at all. "Look at this one, Sam. 'The latest horror craze has hit Pearlfalls!'"
I shook my head, "Really? It's just a human. I mean, humans can be pretty scary but...he looks like my dad making waffles on a Saturday morning. So...the opposite of scary."
"I wanna borrow it anyway. Maybe it's so bad, it's good."
I knew Gwen loved bad horror movies. Hell, if you asked her favorite movies of all times she would probably list a top fifteen of horrormovies.
"Maybe it's just like 'They came from the Shroomzone' parts 1 to 7! Or maybe....even like my all time favorite..." she stopped talking and muttered something about space mermaids eloping with pretty girls and how happy an ending that movie had. I smiled, I loved it when she was passionate about things. I decided, that if we had a partly bad horror movie night, we might as well have some bad paranormal romance to boot!
"Oh...that's a good one, girls." the cash register lady told us. She looked tired but seemed to light up when Gwen showed her the 'They don't shed' dvd. "It gave me and my husband a good fright."
"If it scares you, I'm not sure it will do for us...Sam?" Gwen had this thing that if adults were afraid of horror-movies, she was afraid she wouldn't enjoyed it. I smiled awkwardly at the lady, whose nametag told me she was called 'Maggie'. "Sorry...my friend's peculiar sometimes." I then turned to Gwen.
"Just take it with you. You're renting, not buying. Besides....I have chosen 'Vamptaur steppes' for the night. I know you don't like paranormal romance movies."
Maggie seemed a bit taken a back by Gwen's comments and helped us in silence after it. Gwen payed and was walking away, I noticed Maggie wincing.
She had her teeth clenched, "Oh...I think it's almost time." One of her hands rested on her ribcage, "Might call in sick tomorrow."
Understandable, especially when your ribs started acting up.
"Good luck, I hope it's painless and quick."
Cycling home we didn't say much. We always did. I tried thinking what snacks to serve, what kind of pyjama to wear but most importantly: what kind of plushie to take down with me and watch tv with? I wanted to be comfortable and holding on to something that was big enough to hug, but not to big as in that it obscured my view.
"Gwen, whatya thinking about?"
"Movie order." was all she said during the trip, it was a good thing to think about. The balance between getting freaked out and relaxed and feeling safe from fictional monsters was a thin line.
"Maybe we should watch one we have seen before?"
"Yeah, but which one?"
"...Deadlights 3? I kinda liked that one. The monsters were really fake in that, fake but charming."
"Already saw that one with my bro last weekend. But...how about part 2?"
The second Deadlights movie alright, so I nodded.
Finally, my parents had left the house and entrusted us with watching over it.
"Don't invite the vampires inside!" my mom had joked before she had left and we had rolled our eyes at them. Now...the home was ours and we where planning to terrorize it.
Gwen immediately wanted to move aside the couch and put matresses on the floor.
"I....uhm..well I know it's not real but...it makes me feel safer if the couch stays where it is."
"...wall cover and stuff? Like...now nothing can creep behind it and such."
"Yeah, good point." It wasn't real, we both knew. But...some rituals and traditions made us feel safer from fictional things.
In the end, we just plumped a matrass in front of the couch and removed the salon table.
Win win for both, besides now dad couldn't complain about stains on the wood.
Peeps, my stuffed penguin, sat proudly on the couch, waiting for everything to begin. Gwen's giraffe named Gwenn-with double-N sat beside him. The bowl of popcorn, the sticky candy left over from Halloween, chips, a pile of movies, blankets...now the night could finally begin.
Vamptaur Steppes would be the second movie we were going to watch. It was still up for debate if Deadlights 2 was going to be the third one or the grand finale. They don't shed though....both of us were curious where to find the horror in it. Gwen hadn't looked up to much information, considering the internet was the place to be when you wanted something find random spoilers. She held Gwenn-with-double-N in her arms and sighed, "...how to kick this movie night off?"
I looked at Peeps, "What do you think?" I took his plush flipper in my hand and pointed at Vamptaur Steppes. "This one!" I said in a squeeky voice. Gwen just glared at me, before she took Gwenn's frontpaw in hand and pointed at 'They don't shed.'
"How about this one?" she asked in Gwenn's voice, the deepest manly voice she managed.
"Well, it's horror night!" I squeeked again.
"Then it's settled!" Gwenn grumbled, before being cast aside.
Within a few minutes we were settled on the couch. I passed the popcorn to Gwen, but she seemed to concentrated to notice.
"Iew....looks like it has something to do with body horror."
"Duh, with a title like that? Of course, silly."
"Yeah, but body horror's pretty broad, Sam."
"....maybe their teeth will start to fall out?"
The screen showed a man in the bathroom, standing before a mirror. Perfect timing for a serial killer to jump up from behind and take the man down. But...the man did something different. He lifted up his shirt and showed a....perfectly smooth chest. Of course stuff like chesthair, nipples and such were still there but....where were his scars?
"It's like an adult never lost their first...." she wasn't capable of finishing her sentence. Both of us just tried to concentrated on the movie. For the first twenty or so minutes, the bare chested man was all we saw of this 'bodyhorror'. We saw him walk downstairs, eating breakfast and driving of to work. His wife was the typically 'good mother' in this movie, and she was the next character we followed. She brought her twin daughters to school, kissed them goodbye and went her day.
"Besides that bathroom-scene nothing seems to be very scary so far." Gwen sounded bored. And when Gwen was bored, she lost concentration and could turn kind of annoying. I already saw her fiddle with Gwenn-with-double-N and looking at the pile of other movies.
"Come one....at least until the first hour is over?"
"...fine. But not longer then that!"
On screen, the mother-character was called. The music suddenly became that classic "violin being tormented" sound.
"Hello?" the mother said. We couldn't hear what de person on the other side of the line was saying.
"Oh...I see. I will be right over, Mrs Butler." She hung up and stared worried and dramatically at the floor.
"Oh....maybe her daughters are kidnapped?"
"Mutated forest mutants? The school's right beside a forest. Or...what do you think?"
"No idea, Gwen. I just wanna watch too find out now."
One of the twin daughters had fallen from a slide and broken her arms. Stuff that could happen to every kid. We saw the mother enter the school, calling with her husband. Then a shot of an office, the child seated down on chair with her arm in her sling. The mother consoling her. Then...the shots came. Smooth skin, no scars.
Gwen's eyes grew big, "Again, smooth skin."
Were where the long scars typical for arms?
"The bone should heal in about six weeks." they told the mother.
Heal in six weeks?
"Yeah, it is."
I looked at my own arm and saw the long scars, running from shoulder elbow. And then from elbow to my wrist. The tiny scars around each individual knucklebone. Gwen herself studied her bare feet, covered in fine, faded lines. Next time, her feet would probably be the first set of bones that she would replace.
"I mean, whenever I shed one of my bones it's kind of annoying. But I also love the feeling of fresh bones? You know, the tingles, how strong they get after the first three weeks..."
"Ugh.." I started, "Haven't you started to shed your spine?"
"Oh, I was lucky. That happened when I was nine. Most boring summer vacation ever."
"Lucky indeed. I was twelve when it happened...while at school. But the attention I got was kinda nice. Dad was so worried my spinal disks would grow in crooked. My then crush though was creeped out....thought I was pretty early and believed it was contagious!"
We both laughed a bit, I hugged Peeps closely.
We tried watching the movie further. It turned out there was a ghost pushing people of objects, often breaking their bones or bruising their bodies. But never killing them.
What a fascinating movie it turned out to be. Not really scary in the traditional way, but....kind of refreshing? Both Gwen and I agreed that it should've had more lingering shots of the butt naked body of a very hot looking dude. The shots of the girl with her broken arms were repeated a tad much. And both of us didn't have to see the movie sex scene between those smooth skinned individuals!
In the end, we learned that de people in that universe didn't shed their milkbones. The ones they were born with as a baby. They never got to experience that feeling of relieve whenever a long bone finally punctured the skin and slid out. Or how tingly a growing bone felt.
As the credits rolled, I looked at Gwen, she looked at me.
"That's inconvenient. Why heal a broken bone when it can be replaced with a new one in just as many weeks? Or even faster?" she asked.
I took Peeps' flipper once more in my hand, "Because it's fictional and fiction is rarely logical."
"I know." She said with Gwenn's voice, picking the giraffe up. She waved its paw at me. I let Peeps wave back, "Shall we watch another movie?"
"Eh, something light. Thinking to deep about this not shedding your bones stuff is weirding me out. And....yes, I see you grinning there."
Vamptaurs it is." Gwen said. I happily obliged, and removed 'They don't shed them' from the player. Vamptaurs seemed more normal then not losing your milkbones, after all.