Bogleech.com's 2018 Horror Write-off:
The Bed
Submitted by The Bee Keeper
The Bed
I don't understand where all these weeds have come from? I left my bed fallow for only a season and now there's an entire unruly jungle? Aww, well, no matter. A weed is only a feral beauty after all. If I just prune a little here and deadhead these old fellows over there. Oh and let's be tying you little scamps up. Yes, this will do nicely.
Oh yes! This morning the garden looks soooo much better. Today I'll just do a little culling. No need to be stressing out the individuals I've got in training. Too much lopping and they'll just shrivel and leave ghastly stains all over my bed.
***
Ooooh so pretty, yes, yes. Everything is coming together nicely. Well, except those stubborn little fellows in the corners. They seemed to have escaped my notice and sought refuge at the edges of the bed. Still living untouched and feral. We can't have that now can we? No, no, no, gotta get you guys to behave like proper beauties.
***
Hmmm... I still can't seem to get these last weeds to do what I want. Why won't you grow and bloom into the beauties I know you have the potential to become? You sulk and wilt, when I'm only doing my very best to care for you! You look so deathly ill, but you don't die? Is this not the best bed you could hope to live in? I'm trying my best, truly. Maybe I should just toss you in the rubbish pile? The rest are doing so well. But that would be wasteful. I'd hate to waste a perfectly good bloom. I just need to be patient.
***
The late bloomers are finally doing their thing! I'm so happy. The garden is so pretty! Maybe I'll pick a bouquet for my friend Snake. Oh yes, they'll love a few of these fellows and some of those over there!
The next morning I gave Snake the bouquet. They loved it! However, the garden bed didn't look so good. The late bloomers looked all scraggly and horrible again. They look as awful as before I began tending to this bed! And now the rest of my beauties, oh my goodness, gracious! They're all over the place. They've broken their tethers and gone hither and tither! And, and, they look horrid and weedy all over again!
I tried to remove the worst offenders but when I did I got a nasty prick. One bandaged finger later, I got my gloves and tried again to pull the stubborn weed out. It broke into pieces, leaving stains all over my best garden apron, but the root wouldn't budge. And skittering away were two ugly pests. Pests! Pests in my bed!
***
I set up traps. But no luck. The two pests are still running amuck. Oh and my bed! My poor bed! The bed is full of so many ugly weeds now! I guess I'll just have to till up the whole thing after all. Yes, I think I ought to just start a new with new beauties. Ones I know won't resist and protest my tender care!
I don't understand where all these weeds have come from? I left my bed fallow for only a season and now there's an entire unruly jungle? Aww, well, no matter. A weed is only a feral beauty after all. If I just prune a little here and deadhead these old fellows over there. Oh and let's be tying you little scamps up. Yes, this will do nicely.
Oh yes! This morning the garden looks soooo much better. Today I'll just do a little culling. No need to be stressing out the individuals I've got in training. Too much lopping and they'll just shrivel and leave ghastly stains all over my bed.
***
Ooooh so pretty, yes, yes. Everything is coming together nicely. Well, except those stubborn little fellows in the corners. They seemed to have escaped my notice and sought refuge at the edges of the bed. Still living untouched and feral. We can't have that now can we? No, no, no, gotta get you guys to behave like proper beauties.
***
Hmmm... I still can't seem to get these last weeds to do what I want. Why won't you grow and bloom into the beauties I know you have the potential to become? You sulk and wilt, when I'm only doing my very best to care for you! You look so deathly ill, but you don't die? Is this not the best bed you could hope to live in? I'm trying my best, truly. Maybe I should just toss you in the rubbish pile? The rest are doing so well. But that would be wasteful. I'd hate to waste a perfectly good bloom. I just need to be patient.
***
The late bloomers are finally doing their thing! I'm so happy. The garden is so pretty! Maybe I'll pick a bouquet for my friend Snake. Oh yes, they'll love a few of these fellows and some of those over there!
The next morning I gave Snake the bouquet. They loved it! However, the garden bed didn't look so good. The late bloomers looked all scraggly and horrible again. They look as awful as before I began tending to this bed! And now the rest of my beauties, oh my goodness, gracious! They're all over the place. They've broken their tethers and gone hither and tither! And, and, they look horrid and weedy all over again!
I tried to remove the worst offenders but when I did I got a nasty prick. One bandaged finger later, I got my gloves and tried again to pull the stubborn weed out. It broke into pieces, leaving stains all over my best garden apron, but the root wouldn't budge. And skittering away were two ugly pests. Pests! Pests in my bed!
***
I set up traps. But no luck. The two pests are still running amuck. Oh and my bed! My poor bed! The bed is full of so many ugly weeds now! I guess I'll just have to till up the whole thing after all. Yes, I think I ought to just start a new with new beauties. Ones I know won't resist and protest my tender care!