's 2018 Horror Write-off:

The Boxes: Chip Dip

Submitted by Sam Miller (email)

Have you ever dealt with sleep paralysis? You know, just waking up one night to see like, looming aliens or skeletons or something crowded around your bed and you just, just can’t do anything about it? You can’t move, you can’t react at all? I haven’t had to deal with that much, but I have had it a few times, normally it’s just abstract shapes though, silhouettes, nothing really solid or defined, but this one time… One time I woke up, it was the middle of the night, and I could see the moon through my window, but it was way bigger than I thought it was before I fell asleep and… strangely yellow. I know the moon is sometimes yellow, but it was this like, sickening yellow, a yellow that pierces your eyes as you look at it, not the normal naturalistic yellow. I actually could move my arms, so this obviously wasn’t sleep paralysis, but every time I tried to move them I felt resistance, like they were being held down. Couldn’t see anything around me, since it was just so so dark, even with the moon so bright and so big, until some lightning flashed outside and I saw a bunch of these… things around me.

They were… round. They were round and thin looking, from the side they were thin looking. They were this light tan brown, with these weird brown splotches, just thrown haphazardly around their body. They honestly looked a lot like tortilla chips. No, no face or anything, but they did have these little round arms and legs, like a cartoon character, and a few of them were holding what looked like spears made out shards of chips. Now, heh, it sounds really goofy, but I was just wide eyed and sweaty when i woke up and saw them, just looking from one to another frantically.

Then they just started, uh, crunching. Going “crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch”, you know. And I saw subtitles, in my own vision. Like I was in a movie, like I was the camera person and  there were these subtitles being put in, since well, I don’t speak chip i guess. And, what the subtitles said, while I couldn’t see any of these chips in the darkness, was “Put Her In The Dip”. I swear to God, it said that.

So then, I felt myself being lifted up and all of a sudden I wasn’t in my room anymore. Everything around me was bright and smooth, and I was strapped to this big metal platform, these tight leather straps holding my arms and legs and torso to it. It was being carried by a bunch more of those awful little chip things, and I could hear their legs crunching and snapping under the weight of the contraption. Gosh, I just felt so bad for them. Like, sure they were the ones taking me to some place I had never been to before, but jeeze that sound was just awful to listen to. My eyes were half blinded from the transition from the darkness to the light anyway, so all I could really do was listen to that awful sound. I heard some more of the crunching, the “crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch” with the same subtitled “Put Her In The Dip” displaying across my eyes.

The chips just sorta kept on saying this, I don’t think I read them saying anything else, and they just kept on marching through this hallway. It was soft looking, obviously solid but so smooth and flowing in its construction so as to look as if it were liquid. I was flanked on all sides by chips, so I couldn’t see the floor beneath me very well, but I’d imagine it’s much the same color as the walls were. We passed by a lot of holes in the walls which revealed this silvery metallic interior, some of them with these flashing red and green buttons on them, these weird flashing lights, but I have no clue what was up with them.

So, the chips kept on carrying me through this long hallway, with only a few branches off of it, until we reached this big room at the end of it, and that was when I saw it. There was just this, massive glass tube, this huge, uh, jar of sorts, being filled with queso by a bunch of additional chips. They were unscrewing those little jars of queso chip dip and dumping them in, filling this whole giant container to the brim with mexican cheese dip. It smelled incredible, I swear, I was honestly loving the smell of all of that queso, but it quickly just got sickening, just too strong of a cheese smell in his place with no other smells to speak of.

Then they just, the chips just, picked me up, unstrapped me from the metal platform thing, and just dunked me in the queso. I started drowning in queso, I immediately breathed in just out of surprise from being so quickly just… dipped in this queso. Couldn’t see out of it at all, my eyes were filled to the brim with cheesy dip, but I was still getting subtitles on my eyes, just describing [Chips Rejoicing] with no words, like when they describe sounds in a show. No clue what happened after that, I went unconscious and just woke up in my bed, no idea how long it had been. My clothes were all stiff and stained, but my bed was fine, so I have no clue what happened. So yeah, that’s why I won’t be eating any of your dip at your party, Jeff.