Bogleech.com's 2019 Horror Write-off:

Invaderz (Only For Game Boy Advance)

Submitted by Ben Aron

I come to one of my favorite used electronics stores where I found a Game Boy Advance cartridge for a game I had never heard of. The game is called “Invaderz” and the little sticker on the cartridge just had the title with a stylized yellow logo over black. I bought it.

 

I get home. I stick the GBA game in my Nintendo DS Lite. I usually use it to play GBA games because of the brighter screens. I am greeted with logos for a few companies I had never heard of. Then I am able to access the main menu and I select “New Game.”

 

A weird cartoony astronaut greets me. He walks over to my character and says, “Invaderz from a planet called Infans! They want to eat humans! Can you defeat the horde of Invaderz?!” This seems like a weird game.

 

The first level starts. My character looks like a pretty normal dude but he holds a ray gun. An astronaut gives me this objective: “FIGHT Baby Dolls.” These creepy looking, but cartoonish enough, baby dolls swarm my character. I clear the stage and get ready for what is next.

 

In the second level, the cartoony astronaut says, “New Invaderz!! Run!! FIGHT Baby Dolls + Slime Dinosaurs!” Weird goopy solid-colored theropod dinosaurs swarm my character along with a few more of the baby doll enemies.

 

Ready for the third level, I try skipping the cut scene but I am unable to. The astronaut tells me, “We want you. FIGHT Baby Dolls + Soldiers??” He had a skull for a face now. He looked like he wasn’t doing so well. And the soldiers? Well, they were like those solid green plastic army men we had as kids.

 

As level four starts, a baby doll says, “FIGHT Slime Dinosaurs + Soldiers!!!!”

 

Level five starts. A baby doll in an astronaut suit says, “Giggle. FIGHT Baby Dolls + Slime Dinosaurs + Soldiers?!?!?” This level is too hard. I try really hard but can’t beat it.

 

GAME OVER.

 

I am ready to move on, but the screen flashes red.

 

My character appears and is approached by a crawling baby doll. “Come play with me. Come into my crib. I will love you forever. Come inside. GO TO Crib.”

 

I hear knocking on my door, which startles me. I look at my phone and see that it is late (or early) as fuck. 3:23 am. I open my door. There is no one there.

 

Time for bed. I fall asleep.

 

I wake up. I am not sure how much time has passed. I am in a giant crib. There is a baby doll in the crib. It is wriggling. Its face opens up to reveal huge owl-like eyes, scaly skin and a lamprey-like mouth “I’m gonna eat you all up,” it says.

 

I scream.

 

I wake up. I am drenched in sweat. I am in a hospital. I get out of my bed.

 

I walk to the door and I open it. I see the baby doll eating a doctor’s face. The poor woman struggles.

 

I go back into my room and barricade the door with a table and a chair.

 

I type this up.