's 2019 Horror Write-off:


Submitted by Ben Aron

Hello and welcome to McDonkle’s, home of the Heartstopper! Check out our menu for the hip cool kids of today. We’ve got our flagship Heartstopper sandwich. It tastes like a dead rat and cilantro. Check out our other great food product items like Whatsit, Meat Flesh, Lucario Burger, and the world famous Cole Slaw While Someone Yells At You! Personally, I am a huge fan of the Meat Flesh, which tastes very extra dimensional with crunchy bones inside.

Come on and take a seat. Take a seat! Thanks for taking a seat. There’s a toilet in your seat if you have to shit while you’re eating your delicious nutritious meal. Also, we have machines that will

masturbate you by the ketchup dispensers!! Overall, McDonkle’s is a way of life and we’re not bankrupt at all. Not even a little. Please come again and always remember to give us your money. Give us your credit card to keep or even just give us your whole wallet. It could pay off

for you someday if you think about it hard enough. I know I thought about it hard enough.

Also, I’m on an FBI watch list. McDonkle’s! I’m eatin’ it! They pay me to!

I hope everyone understands that they have my wife and kids. Please for the love of God, eat at