's 2019 Horror Write-off:

The Gentleman Zombie in The Horrendous Slaughterhouse Within the Contemptible Factory of Foul Intents

Submitted by aceotaku (email)

An innocent woman screamed in terror as she ran through the cold, steel walls of her prison. The walls and ceiling were decorated heavily with masses of metal pipes that hissed with steam and various fluids. The floor she ran on was flat concrete, with the occasional bloodstain marring the surface. As she ran two figures pursued her. They looked human enough, but a close look would reveal the truth: their skin was a vile, rotten green, their eyes empty and milky white, their lipless mouths gaping unnaturally widely and revealing the surprisingly sharp but still flat incisors filling their mouths, and their hands sported fingers that had seemingly torn apart to reveal unnaturally sharp, bright red bony claws, and the pair wore heavy, denim overalls over their bodies, the clothing stained with splatters of blood.

The woman ran and ran, however the two shambling creatures managed to catch up with her despite seemingly walking as slowly as possible, their grip extremely strong, claws digging into ehr skin and making her cry out in pain as they roughly dragged her along, the pair of them pulling her towards a conveyor belt.

“L-let me go!” The woman screamed out, struggling. “W-what are you doing!? What ARE you things!?”

“This is an hourly reminder, you simpletons!” A voice suddenly crackled over loudspeakers hidden in the building. “Lollygagging is an offence! Time is money, and more importantly time is product! And if ANY of you sample the product ahead of time, heads will roll! I remember what happened last week! You stupid little Grade B’s! Everytime YOU make a mistake, somehow that leads to my cohorts blaming ME! So DON’T MAKE ME LOOK BAD!”

The two creatures looked up at the voice, looked at the struggling woman, looked to each other and then shrugged, their voices blank and expressionless as they tossed the woman onto the conveyor belt, the woman screaming and trying to crawl off....only for a figure to run up along the conveyor belt, lift her up and then leap off with her back onto the concrete floor. The new figure helped the woman to her feet, doffing his large black top hat at her.

“My, such uncivilised brutes, manhandling a lady so shamelessly!” The figure spoke, his voice a cultured one with a strong, gentlemanly English accent. “My apologies i had not been able to come earlier before they had marred your delicate skin, madam, but I am only a mere gentleman at all.

The woman, however, could only stare in pure horror and disgust, for her saviour was as inhuman as the other two who had attacked her: while he was clad in a stylish black coat-tailed suit and wore a top hat, his skin was the same vile green, his hands the same horrendous claws, and while he had a massive, black moustache that curled upwards at the tips and was waxed to luxurious shine it did little to hide how his mouth was just as hideously frightening. The creature however sported only a single eye, decorated with a gold-rimmed monocle, his other eye however was gone, an X-shaped scar knotting the flesh together over where it would otherwise be. And, of course, the moment he lifted his hat in gentlemanly greeting, he revealed his scalp was missing, revealing his pulsing, pink brain.

The woman screamed in terror, running off out of sight towards an exit, the Gentleman Zombie placing his hat back atop his head as turned to the two other zombies, an arm crooked behind his back as he used the other to twirl a long, black cane tipped with a silver spike that glinted in the dim light.

“Such brutes, have you no manners!? No shame!!?” The Gentleman Zombie spat at the pair in complete disgust. “have at you!”

The creatures groaned, rushing towards him to slash at him with their claws, but the Gentleman Zombie simply sidestepped their attacks,  quickly grabbing one of the zombies by the shoulder and pressed in close, digging his teeth deep into the zombie’s skull as he tore it open to devour the creature’s brain, quickly slashing with his can to slice the other zombie’s knees and legs apart as he kicked it onto the conveyor belt, the creature struggling as a massive, bloodstained buzzsaw swung down to bisect in half.

The Gentleman Zombie dumped the body of the zombie he had devoured onto the conveyor belt, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket to dab at his mouth. “Such a ghastly place...I shall be glad to see it demolished before the day is through.” He tapped the spiked end of his cane to the ground as he steadily walked along the floor, heading out through an opening that lead onto a metal walkway that overlooked a massive cavern, several lines of conveyor belts filling the room as piles of meat moved along them, buzzsaws moving down to cut the meat into palatable sizes, a few belts having samples large enough to be recognisable as fresh human corpses, and at the very bottom of the room was a massive grinder through which unwanted bones and rejected corpses and flesh were funneled towards, presumably to be grinded to a fine paste.

The Gentleman Zombie snarled in distaste as he walked along the dangerously haphazard walkway, looking at posters on the walls sporting pictures of meat with slogans such as “Try the delectable meats from The Robber Barons Factory!” and “Our meat will make you feel like a new you! Try today!”.

“Is THIS what you scoundrels MURDERED me for!? This...tomb of HORRORS!?” The Gentleman zombie snarled. “You call yourselves GENTLEMEN!? Nay, you call yourselves HUMAN!?”

As he walked he heard he sound of metal clanking up above him, and looking above he saw a complicated railing system installed in the ceiling and he soon saw why it had been as, hanging from a large heavy chain, something wheeled along the rails. Its body was a round metallic ball, a glass window in the centre revealing the massive brain tissue pulsing inside. Attached to the sides where a pair of loudspeakers  as well as a pair of large, swivelling Gatling guns. A several feet long, extremely thin tube hang down below it, flanked by a pair of massive, twisted looking buzzsaw-like devices and hanging beside THOSE were a pair of mechanical structures housing massive, bloodshot, yellowish eyeballs that moved about and surveyed the Slaughterhouse below it.

“Work! Work!” A raspy, nasally, high pitched and condescendingly upperclass voice called out through the monstrosity’s speakers, the thing overall as big as a three story house, its chain clanking as it moved down its rail system. “You weren’t chosen to be gifted just to stand and do NOTHING! You worthless little layabouts!” as the creature moved he suddenly froze in place, spotting the Gentleman Zombie beneath it.

The Gentleman Zombie looked up at the Grade S Zombie. “I’d recognise that voice anywhere. You always looked down on and belittled your workers in life, and its unsurprising to see how little has changed.” The Gentleman Zombie bowed though he glared balefully. “Good evening, Spaulding. I see your zombification didn’t reward you NEARLY as well as your ‘friends’. Now tell me, are they AlSO hiding within this abominable structure, or did they leave it all under your care?”

Spaulding’s massive eyes scanned the Gentleman Zombie spitefully. “Who...? OH! It’s YOU! I ALMOST forgot about YOU! What, did you finally crawl your way out of hell, or have you just been HIDING and judging us like you always do, like a COWARD? Look at you, always looking so HIGH and MIGHTY, always looking down on ME even though we were BUSINESS PARTNERS!”

“Our employees would disagree on that.” The Gentleman Zombie argued. “Or did you think I hadn’t heard of how you had mistreated and abused them? How you cut corners just to make a profit! Do you realise how many were injured, how many DIED, because of YOU!?”

“SEE!? Always JUDGING! Always acting like I’m some sort of WEAK, PATHETIC IDIOT!” Spaulding snarled, his mechanical body spinning in anger. “ALL OF YOU! Those urchins were PEASANTS! So far beneath us they weren’t worth even a SECOND THOUGHT! These low class, brainless Grade B’s are no different! They exist to serve and do my bidding, and nothing else! Honestly they’re a waste of the gift of zombiehood, of immortality! AND YET LOOK AT ME! Just because I need this METAL AUGMENTATION the others treat ME like I’m one of these LOSERS! They put ME down here to oversee things and don’t even give me a way to access the OTHER AREAS OF THE FACTORY! But hey, even THiS beats growing old, dying and ROTTING IN A COFFIN! LIKE YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST GONE AND DONE LIKE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO!”

The Gentleman zombie glared, raising his cane aggressively. “Someone had to rise and stop your madness, the lot of you, and only a true gentleman can deal with you. And if I am the only true gentleman left, then so be it.”

“GUUUURRRGHHHHH!!! Oh just shut up AND DIE! WOOOOOOORKEEEEEERS!” Spaulding suddenly shrieked loudly. “EARN YOUR PAY! (not that we pay you at all).Kill the SHIT out of this arrogant SHITSTAIN!”

The Gentleman Zombie sighed and shook his head as countless zombies clad in overalls groaned and climbed their way up the scaffolding and walls towards him. Truly, out of all the people he had come here to kill, Spaulding was the one who lacked any class or decorum, he couldn’t even insult someone without resorting to the most base, thoughtless things.

A zombie charged at him, and the Gentleman Zombie responded with a quick slash, cutting the zombies head off and sending it the ground, whereupon the Gentleman zombie then proceeded to stomped down hard, smashing the zombies head like a pumpkin and causing its body to collapse to the floor lifelessly. Several more zombies charged at him, only to be met several skilful jabs, stabs and slashes of his cane, the monsters being torn to pieces.

As The Gentleman Zombie moved, a couple more able bodied zombies, wielding large rusty wrenches as weapons, ran towards The Gentleman Zombie, who caught one of the wrenches in his hand and stab his cane through one of them through the head, only to grunt in pain as the other dived low to grip the wrench around his arm’s elbow tear it off, three zombies grabbing the Gentleman Zombie from behind so the remaining wrench wielding zombie moved to force the weapon through his chest, blood spilling over the Gentleman Zombie’s suit while the other wrench wielding zombie crumpled to the floor with the cane still stuck in its cranium.

The Gentleman Zombie cried out in pain as the zombies grabbing him dug their sharp claws into his shoulders, the wrench penetrating him slowly pushing upwards, his bones cracking audibly as the metal tore through them.

“WHAT!?” Spaudling laughed, his huge body swinging back and forth gleefully from above. “You still feel PAIN!? Most of us stopped that several brains ago, our new bodies no longer NEED that obsolete sensation! That’s it, workers, tear him up! Rip him to pieces! Make him SCREAM!”

“A true gentleman does not run from pain, nor try and avoid his humanity...” The Gentleman Zombie groaned, suddenly reaching his remain arm to grab the zombie in front of him and pull him close to tear into its skull and devour its brain messily.

“THAT’S IT!” Spaulding spat. “KILLING YOU MYSELF!” With a heavy clanking Spaulding’s massive form suddenly slammed downwards onto the mass of zombies that now covered the Gentleman Zombie, sawblades spinning as they tore through the bodies, the long pipe between them making disgusting wet sucking noises as it allowed Spaulding to devour the puree of flesh with a pleasured groan. “Ah yes...delicious...the sweet taste of flesh and vengeance...” His eyes swivelled and then widened as he gasped as he saw that The Gentleman Zombie had managed to crawl out from the workers, devouring one zombie’s brain having given him the power to regrow damaged arm and repair his chest. The Gentleman Zombie ran towards where his can lay and lifted up to point it towards Spaulding’s now prone form.

“H-how DARE you heal yourself with MY zombies and avoid your punishment!” Spaulding screeched incredulously. “Very well, if you want a fight so badly, then let’s fight like gentlemen!” With that his guns moved to point towards the Gentleman Zombie and fired a hail of bullets. “Workers! Work that cranks! Get me back upright! I want to taste his FLESH!”

As a pair of workers in the distance moved to turn a pair of cranks and slowly caused Spaulding’s body to rise up again, the Gentleman Zombie spun his cane as he ran forwards, bullets hitting his body but the majority being spun away from his reinforced cane and he leapt up onto Spaulding’s rising body, clinging to the edge of the window that exposed the massive zombie’s brain.

“HEY!” Spaulding shouted. “Get DOWN from there!” Spaulding tried to aim his guns but due to the size and shape of his body as well as the precise positon where the Gentleman zombie now stood he was unable to get him in the guns’ sights let alone attempt to fire any shots. “Workers!”

“so careless, so lacking in any awareness or foresight.” The Gentleman ombie muttered, shaking his head as he climbed upwards , throwing his cane up so its point got caught within the delicate machinery that held Spaulding aloft.

“Ah!” Spaulding gasped as a harsh schreeching noise filled the room. “No! S-stop it!” He aimed his guns upwards in a desperate attempt to dislodge the cane...only to realise too late as the bullets fired, causing the railing to explode and send him and the Gentleman Zombie falling down towards the massive grinder near the bottom of the slaughterhouse.

“You idiot!” Spaulding screamed angrily. “You killed us! Look what you’ve done! You’ll PAY for this!”

“I think not.” The Gentleman Zombie said and hopped off of Spaulding, landing atop a lower levelled piece of the walk way scaffolding, grabbing his cane in his hand as it fell conveniently in his reach.

Spaudling’s eyes widened in horror as his massive, mechanical body fell with a loud smash into the grinder that groaned and struggled beneath his frame. “H-hey! W-wait! H-help me! W-workers!”

“You’ll find your workers lack the strength to lift you let alone the intelligence to stop the machinery.” The Gentleman Zombie doffed his hat and started to walk along the walkway, pointedly looking away from Spaulding.

“W-wait!” Spaulding cried out desperately. “Y-You! E-eat my brain! G-Go on, I know you want to! I-I know things! Things about the factory, the other Robber Barons! E-eat my brain and you’ll know everything!”

“Tempting as it is, I’d rather not risk having a vile, disgusting scudpile such as yourself rattling around within me, even if it’s just a tiny piece. No, I rather say this is a fitting end for you, Spaulding.” The Gentleman Zombie continued onwards and upwards, heading towards a large door that lead out of the slaughterhouse. “I have other men I need to deal with, men who have done much wrong to humanity, to myself and to themselves...Farewell, my old business partner.” With a final doff of his hat the Gentleman Zombie stepped off out of sight.

Spaulding screamed in rage as his body was pulled into the grinder, causing it explode which further created cracks in the foundations, causing the entire slaughterhouse to collapse in on itself and onto the zombies working within it.


A dark skinned man wearing suspenders over his black suit sat at a large table, looking at his co-conspirators. While he APPEARED to have skin, closer nspection revealed it was more like bone in texture, his face skull like and sporting inhumanly black, void-like eyes and sharp teeth in an eternal grimace, beside him stood a large staff topped with a large brain wrapped in barbed wire and a single eye in its pulsing folds.

“Gentlemen.” The man spoke. “It seems someone has returned from the grave to halt our plans for a better world. He has destroyed the slaughterhouse and killed Spaulding.”

A large glass tub in a corner of the room held a mass of flesh covered in eyes and mouths and stitches, the eyes looking at the dark skinned man. “Spaulding’s dead? Not much of a loss really.”

A person clad in dark crimson knightly armour with a helmet that had a large beak-like front that had sharp zig-zagging seams sat at the table with arms folded over their chest. “Who did it? Spaulding was pathetic but he wasn’t a pushover.”

“The gentleman we killed so long ago, back when we were human.” The dark skinned man said.

A man with massive gorilla arms, and polishing an elelphant gun, gasped his rhinocerous lower half stomping at the floor. “Ehh...? You mean..?”

“Yes.”The dark skinned man said, looking towards the Crimson Knight. “As the one in charge of security around here, I think you’d have the most interesting in stopping him.”

The knight nodded and rose up, hefting a large drill that resembled a lance as they walked off, blood dripping from the “beak” of their helmet. “Arthur...”


What will happen next!? Find out in the next thrilling instalment in the adventures of The Gentleman Zombie, to be continued!