's 2019 Horror Write-off:


Submitted by Jac R B

Im still here.
Its dark, but i can still see. As if through a small window in monochrome, i can still see the world, the grass, the people. My body.
It took me a minute, but i saw myself there, obviously too broken to still be living.
I felt astonishingly little about it. Maybe Im supposed to be in denial, or relieved, but if i do feel anything, it seems dulled, or nonexistent.
I cant breath, and its cold.
I think for a moment how my husband is doing, and in an instant im home. No sensation of movement, no sensation.
I see him, crying in the living room. Some time has passed, a few days maybe. Im less concerned with the time it took and more with how sad he is.
Im still here.
I want to reach out to touch him, but i have no body. I have no sensation of touch, or of being made of anything, i am nothing but a spectator.
Hes still crying.
Please dont cry, im still here.
How could he know? i have no presence.
I want to hold and to comfort him. I am nothing.
I am nothing anymore.
Im still here.
He cant hear me.
Please dont cry honey, i love you.
He cant hear me.
Im still here.
Im still here