's 2020 Horror Write-off:

The Best Week Of My Life

Submitted by LMTYL

This has probably been the best week of my life.

Correction: this has definitely been the best week of my life!

No, I didn’t win the lottery, or get married, or anything like that.  I just woke up Monday morning feeling great!  None of the usual aches and pains and cursing the alarm clock.  Breakfast was delicious.  Nothing at work could break my good mood.  When I got home, I made a whole box of pasta with a jar of sauce and I swear it was the best thing I’d ever eaten--and I’d eaten half of what I made!  I turned in early and was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Tuesday morning was so bright and shiny that I got ready in time to swing by the donut shop on the way to work.  Rolling into the office with a box of an assorted dozen and a large coffee turned some heads, but it felt good to be the center of attention.  Not even the look on my cube-neighbor’s face when I told him I wasn’t sharing brought me down.

I wonder what I did to earn this?  Did I unlock some sort of enlightened state of existence?

I wish I could share this with everyone.

Yesterday, Thursday, was when my coworkers got jealous of my good mood and started trying to bring me down.  Saying things like, “are you feeling okay,” and, “your car is taking up two parking spaces,” and telling me that my work wasn’t up to my usual standards.  Telling me I looked pale, that my constant eating wasn’t healthy, trying to tell me how to live my life.

We all get paid the same, they could’ve bought donuts whenever they wanted, they were just cowards.

After a bit, I logged off my computer and walked away from all of them.  It felt like the right thing to do, you know?  Gotta take care of myself.

I got some early supper at the drive-thru place on the way home.  One of those buckets of fried chicken.  Usually not my favorite, but even the bones were delicious!

Today has been a personal day, you know?  Life is about more than making money, I’ve realized.  My body is a temple.

Which is why I’ve spent today in bed, with all the snacks in the house close to hand.  Feeling luxurious, decadent even.  Every so often I just marvel at how beautiful I am.  Tracing the veins in my long, lean arms.  Running hands over my wonderful stomach and feeling my organs dance under my touch.  I love feeding them, watching them grow.

I’m becoming my best self.  I wish I could share this with everyone!

This has been the best week of my life.