Halloween 2006: August Finds
 This year I'll be doing things a little differently; instead of amassing a collection and putting it all up
on Halloween night, I'll be adding as I go along for all three months of the season, guiding you
through every individual item as I find them.

  I've also done away with the tacky, purple backdrop, and will eventually be re-taking many of
the past photos.

  What I ultimately hope to determine with all this, however, is if I can find something by the end
of the season that might possibly surpass our
first item...
-The "It's Alive!" Creeping Brain-
 Found at Michael's store shortly after Otakon, this motion-activated masterpiece is nearly a foot long
and covered in soft latex rubber. When triggered, it scoots along on a set of wheels and
hums a
happy tune
before it stops, opens its toothy mouth and snarls incoherently, like so:
 ....I'm inclined to wonder who this brain is really trying to fool with that nonchalant facade, since a
"happy" crawling brain is pretty much just as alarming as an angry one, but I'm sure we can all agree
that he puts forth a noble effort. I actually bought this thing without even noticing that it had a mouth (I
was looking at the wrong end when I pressed the "try me!" button), which wound up a pretty nice
surprise as it upped the awesome factor a good 82% upon discovery.

  Unfortunately, I am left with a dilemma: I want more halloween crap, but my first discovery already
reigns supreme as one of the best things I have ever seen in my entire life. Could anything possibly
come close to the power of "Creeping Brain?" Whatever the outcome, I'm sure you can expect a
ridiculous and poorly drawn comic all about it. Stay tuned for the next 71 days and find out!
-The Musical Eye-
 Though nowhere near the level of Creeping Brain, Musical Eye was found at the same
time and place from what appears to be the same company (Creeping Brain was packaged
in the same foggy green). The blurb at the bottom reads "What's spookier than a giant
eyeball? One that plays SPOOKY MUSIC!"....and it apparently doesn't get any spookier
than the classic "Addams Family" theme song. Yes, press a button on this hard, plastic eye
and it jiggles all around the floor, flashing multicolored lights from the inside as a classic TV
theme plays on infinite loop until you either catch it and turn it off or the batteries run out.

  It's no crawling brain, but it's pretty damn hysterical when you're as tired as I am right
-Porcelain Pumpkin-clown-
 Completely unrelated to the demonic pumpkin clowns of the past two years
that store has yet to put out its Halloween crap), this "Marshalls" closeout
trinket is nonetheless delightful with its wobbling skull and hat.
-Mummy Dog Toy-
 A standard fuzzy, squeaky star toy dressed up in a maniacal rubber mummy
head and glued-on shoes. Maybe a little unfulfilling for $5, but I've seen these for
years and it was about damn time I bought one.
-Ripoff Uglydolls-
 Of all the things to bootleg, "Mews Ments" generic cat-toy company decided
to bootleg the "Uglydoll" artistic toy line. These crude imitations are designed to
dangle from your finger by an elastic strand tied to a plastic ring, driving cats
mad with rage over shameless copyright infringement.
-"Super Spider" display box (sighting only)-
 I don't own this, but thought I'd snap a photo of it while I was in Dollarmax.
Hopefully I can snag it before they throw it out later.
-Freaky S&M Monsters (CLICK TO ENLARGE!!!)-
 These are weird on so many levels, but if I point them out I'll only ruin the fun...just zoom in on
either of these masochistic freaks and let it sink in on its own.

  Available from the "Dollar Tree" chain, one-hundred-cents lands you a six-foot kinky skeleton
or witch printed on transparent plastic and a "rope" that we're supposed to stuff with leaves and
physically tie around the tree for added "realism".


  I can't imagine the process by which these were successfully pitched as acceptable, wholesome
holiday decor and do not dare imagine what went through the mind of whomever designed and
drew them, but I one thing is for certain: they are
easily a 9.5 on the "Creeping Brain" quality
scale. I also have reason to suspect that there are more varieties out there, and will conduct a
search as swiftly as possible.
This one's for the ladies
Why is she sweating? What's about to happen!?! DEAR GOD
-Blood Capsules with killer packaging art (Click to Enlarge)-
 Allright, so they're just blood capsules, but that it some awfully killer art. The
gang's all here and they want to make damn sure you know where the fake
blood capsules are. BITCH.
-More crazy stickers-
 My final "Dollarmax" purchase is a sheet of metallic purple stickers (mottled
brown to my scanner) ranging from bland, generic pumpkins to the hardcore
mayhem in these top-six picks. Personally, I like the dancing mummy most of all.
August 8 - Michael's Craft Store
August 15 - Marshall's
August 22 - Petco
August 29 - The Dollar Tree
August 30 - Dollarmax
August 31 - Dollar Tree part II
-Giant Snazzy Cardboard Monsters-
 I don't know how I missed these the first time around, but they're both styleish and
BIG. At three-feet from head to toe, their chunkiness makes them look downright
massive on a closet door or peeking out a window.

  Also available were a set of "fingertip towels" with the same characters sewn onto
them plus
two more who do not appear to come in paper figure format. Sadly,
washcloth frankenstein's
platter of eyeballs was left out of his giant cut-out.
-Frankenstein's Monster tie-up-
 This appears to be the third and final flavor of naughty undead prisoner, which is a real
shame because they could have easily used the third slot for, I don't know, a vampiress or
something. Two green-skinned monsters in a three-monster set is totally redundant.

  This time, however, I have scanned the instructions (which use "frankenstein" as the
example no matter which one you've purchased) which I suppose are slightly interesting.

  Anyhoo, it looks like we've survived the first of three ghastly months that encompass the
full Halloween season, and with the advent of September, it's time to find out what bigwigs
like Target and Joann have in store for the Throne of King Creeping Brain...