In a panic, you begin to unload the nearby PICKLE SHELF onto your foe. You hurl the big, heavy jars like grenades, their BIZARRE CONTENTS splattering as they shatter against the tiled floor.\n\nThe HARMBURGER begins to slip and slide wildly on the SLIMY WHATSITS and REEKING BRINE littering the ground, careening clear across the meat locker and splattering into the OPPOSITE WALL.\n\nYou are about to make a break for the EXIT DOOR when you feel a sharp, stabbing sensation in your gut. Some sort of SCUTTLING YAM THING is rapidly burrowing into your abdomen.\n\nSearing agony in your thigh alerts you to the OILY SLUG dissolving its way through your jeans. More HORRIBLE PICKLED THINGS are slithering, flopping and crawling their way toward you in a DELICIOUS SMELLING swarm of UNNAMEABLE HORRORS.\n\nYour last memory is of a LARGE, BARBED GHERKIN drilling its way into your eyes.
You have awakened in a mysterious MEAT LOCKER, surrounded by the mutilated remnants of UNIDENTIFIABLE CREATURES. Before you can ponder how you arrived in this predicament, the heavy, steel EXIT DOOR creaks open. An OMINOUS FIGURE shambles its way into the room. It SMELLS GROSS.\n\n<html><center><table width="500"><tr><td><font size="6"><br>THE HARMBURGER ATTACKS!</font><p><br><img src=""><p><br>He swings his cleaver wildly as he advances, step by sloppy step. Plop, plop, swish, swish!</td></tr></table></center></html>\n\nThe MEATY ABOMINATION stands between you and the EXIT DOOR. His girth leaves only [[NARROW SPACE]] to either side. To your immediate left is a large metal SHELF full of [[DEAD THINGS]]. To your right is a rack of [[PICKLE JARS]]. Behind you, twitching [[CARCASSES]] hang from hooks.
You ponder using one of the many MUTILATED BEASTS as makeshift weapons.\n\nYou reach for some sort of FLAYED DINOSAUR only for it to spring to life, its SERRATED JAWS snapping shut over your arm. You reel backwards, screaming like a STUPID BABY as more WEIRD CORPSES stir to life.\n\nThe pack of half-butchered remains set upon you like wild dogs, ripping you limb from limb.\n\nAs you pass out from the pain and blood loss, you swear you can hear that sandwich guy chuckling.
You get the bright idea to try and knock out the HARMBURGER with one of those giant, swinging CARCASSES.\n\nYou get the best grip you can on some sort of inside-out, six legged GROSS TORSO. You pull it as far back as possible and let it loose, straight into your assailant.\n\nThe HARMBURGER is smacked right in the face by the WEIRD CORPSE, but then something GROSS AND TERRIBLE happens. The two appear to stick fast to one another, and with a sickening gurgle, the SANDWICH GUY and MYSTERIOUS MEAT meld into a FORMLESS FLESH BLOB.\n\nThe horrible new creation pulses and squelches, reaching out with WORMY TENDRILS to drag even more meat into its EVER GROWING MASS.\n\nYou watch helplessly as the MEATY HEAP fills the room. You are the last thing it consumes, RANCID MEAT invading every opening in your anatomy as your skin dissolves and your innards are sucked in twelve directions at once.
Harmburger Helper
Jonathan Wojcik
You rush headlong towards the BIG, AWFUL SANDWICH, attempting to dive past the monstrosity before it can make its next swing.\n\nYou successfully evade the FLAILING CLEAVER only to find yourself toppling to the floor. A PUSTULED TONGUE the size of a python has erupted from the monster's back and is wrapped tightly around your leg.\n\nThe Harmburger's MOLDERING BUN HEAD rotates completely around to regard you with its glistening eyeballs. It is like an OWL only it's a HAMBURGER.\n\nYou kick and squirm, but the SLIMY APPENDAGE holds you tight.\n\nThe HARMBURGER slowly and calmly CHOPS YOU APART, demonstrating an astonishing detailed understanding of the human anatomy as it KEEPS YOU ALIVE for several hours into the process.\n\nYou are limbless, skinless and faceless by the time you begin to lose consciousness.
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