Written by Jonathan Wojcik

Yesterday we looked at a host-parasite kaiju pair, but today, we have a mutually symbiotic duo with a nonetheless dark streak. The first of the two is Anemos, resembles something like an enormous sea cucumber with a ring of chitinous jaws and rows of gaping skin pores. The creature shows no apparent hostility, but gently sways as it cries with a whale-like moaning, and when approached by any humans, sprays a purple slime from its pores that is later identified as an "alarm pheromone."

When Anemos is finally outright attacked by foolhardy humans, its fear seems to attract a second giant creature, Crabgan, resembling a huge crawfish-like arthropod. As soon as the two monster meet, they exchange their weird calls and quickly get into position, almost like some sort of bizarre mating ritual, except they're not mating, not exactly...

Anemos has an identical "mouth" at each end of its body, and one of the two physically melts into Crabgan's underside until they become a single creature, the other end of Anemos rather unsettlingly sprouting from between the big bug's lower legs. This fusion form has no official name, but I feel like it should have been Crabganemos.

But...why? What are these things?

Throughout the episode, we're filled in on the details of these creatures by paleontologist Miku Asano, who has a very relatable soft spot for long dead invertebrates. According to her highly professional evaluation, Anemos was a Cambrian life form "evolving into the perfect species, in the hopes of being chosen by Earth" (???), and further enhanced itself when it formed a symbiotic partnership with another prehistoric species, what we now call the monster Crabgan.

Miku's sympathy for the majestic beasts runs deep...but unfortunately, that's precisely the problem. You see, while the anemos died out almost half a billion years prior, its sheer will was strong enough to survive through the eons in a metaphysical form another character describes with a lot of quantum technobabble, but our paleontologist lets us know is literally a ghost. Listen to her, guys, she's an expert on this exact creature.

...Which is, again, the entire problem, because what actually called these ghosts back into existence was this very scientist's intense sorrow over their extinction. This is basically the only thing I know about this character and I can say with confidence that she is a precious and perfect angel.

The creature's own pain however, cannot be calmed. Once fused into a single being, the Crabganemos emits a strange, yellow gas that seems to mesmerize anyone exposed to those "alarm pheromones," mindlessly drawing them to the creature to be eaten alive. It's an act of ghostly rage against us as a species now dominating a world they felt was rightfully theirs, and sadly, even Miku fails to talk sense into them before Ultraman blasts them back to the netherworld.

It's a very weird, very unique backstory for what would otherwise be two somewhat ordinary Ultramonsters, and even with their terrifying hypno-fog and bitterness towards the living, it's impossible not to feel sorry for the vengeful spirits of Cambrian fossils. Flawless and brilliant professor professor Asano is absolutely right...this world should have belonged to the Anemos. Look at the trash heap we made of it instead.