HALLOWEEN SHOPPING 2022:
ECCENTRIC OSSIFICATIONS

We already looked at some of 2022's CRAZY BONEZ products, but today we look at bony specters unleashed upon the mortal realm by other brands - or, in some cases, possibly made by Crazy Bonez for other brands. It's not entirely clear. You therefore cannot properly refer to all of these as Crazy Bonez, but nor are they perfectly ordinary bones.

CUTE SKELECOW

This looks a lot like the "cute" skeleton animals from Crazy Bonez, but it wasn't branded either Crazy Bonez or Seasons, so I'm not entirely sure. A cow, of course, wouldn't be sitting upright with a nubby little humanoid body, but that just makes me think it's the skeleton of a baby Minotaur. That's even Halloweenier!

SKELEDUCK

Crazy Bonez offers their own "rubber ducky" style skeleton, but 2022 sees the appearance of a knockoff that differs primarily in the presence of sharp teeth. I gotta say I like them both, even if Crazy Bonez is always higher in overall quality.

HORNED TOAD

From seemingly the same maker as the toothed duck is this skeletal frog with sharply pointed eye sockets; in other words the skeleton of a horned or "pac man" frog! It's not true to life, of course, those horns on the real thing are actually all soft tissue, but it's cool to see such a specific type of amphibian in bone monster form.

ANIMATED SKELETON CHAMELEON

This is one of the "animated skeleton pets" that have steadily grown in number over the past few years, but oddly enough, this one is extremely difficult to find listed online. Instead, you'll just find the more iguana-like lizard from the same product line, sometimes even mislabeled as a chemeleon! The curly tail, head crest and buggy eyeballs of this revenant are all distinctly signature to the Chameleonidae, however, even if the stance and the legs are all off. It's like some poor necromancer just wanted to keep their own pet chameleon going, but lost most of the bones in a freak accident, so they stuck the skull and the tail to the skeleton of a gila monster or something. It happens!

It's a good thing the memories and personality are always stored in the skull, where the brain's ghost continues to believe it's still alive until it can finish all its earthly business. This is why it's important to die with a lot of unanswered or perhaps even wholly unanswerable questions, and when you're a small lizard, they're ALL kind of unanswerable! The secret to immortality!

ANIMATED SKELETON TRICERATOPS

The "animated pets" have also recently added miniaturized dinosaurs, including a t-rex and this triceratops. Cute!

ANIMATED SKELETON BIRD OF SOME KIND

...What is this bird?! Its body is squat, while its beak is extremely long and pointed. Were they going for a hummingbird? A pelican? A kiwi? It's not quite right for any of the three, but it's fairly neat looking. It also has the usual issue of "bone feathers" on Halloween skelebirds, but in this case, they're positioned just like finger bones, so it's more like this creature has bat-like wings! Together with the beak design, you could feel free to interpret it as an undead Stirge if you wanted.

SKELETON SHARK & CROCODILE

These are from Target this year! Though they have the proportions of a full grown shark and crocodilian, they're just over a foot in length. They're pretty hefty in person, too, and they've got articulated jaws.

NEW SKELETON BUGS!

An ambiguous wasp-like skeleton "fly" was introduced last year, but the same brand has now added an amazing looking giant hornet and the first new Sklider sculpt I've seen in a few years now. The Sklider is unique for its more bunched up legs, giving it a chunkier and less sprawled-out shape than others of its kind.

The hornet, meanwhile, is so accurate to the proportions of its basis, it could have almost been scanned directly from a real specimen before it was modified into a "skeleton." In fact, the only bone parts are its ribcage-like abdomen and a bit of spinal column down the back of its thorax, the rest just made up of actual hornet parts. The fact even shows some of the staggered texture of a 3-d printed model, which must have been part of the basis for its mold!

This means the hornet's antennae are delicately thin, but it's a very cool looking item. Especially when it's switched on, since both these creatures light up red!