Hermann Sitz

MONSTERS: Original Creations!

BEITPAST - the suspicious pasty


Long ago, there was a scientist who tried to conquer world hunger once for all by creating self-replicating food items. They would consume toxic waste and turn it into juicy nutrients, and there would be little to no side-effects. The resulting obscenities could do all of this, however, there WAS a significant side-effect: Even tough they were able to live on waste, they were soon to find out that living flesh was a lot tastier. Also they had the nasty habit of recomposing themselves after ingestion and starting to eat their victim from the inside out. It wasn't long before they devoured their master and spread through the continent in search of new culinary adventures. They didn't seem very profitable as high-risk, "unique-experience" fastfood, but turned out to be excellent fighters, as long as they didn't have to face any opponents with unusually strong digestive acids.

TOOFPIE - the Cannibal Meatpie


Toofpies can be baked from scratch or obtained by fattening a Beitpast with blood sausage and leaving it in an defect microwave for several days while ignoring the screaming. In the process, they will lose some of the Beitpast's most nasty abilities, which means Toofpies can be consumed without much risk, the only problem being that most of their body is made of teeth of random shape and size. Toofpies are surprisingly strong, but also more calm and obediant than Beitpasts, making them quite useful as minor lab assistants.They carve for the flesh of Beitpasts and other Toofpies, but can learn to control themselves. With no master to teach them, wild Toofpies grow into ferocious beasts that seem to be on an ever-lasting feeding frenzy. Once in battle, even well-trained pies tend to go berserk and are difficult to control. Toofpies are feared for their powerful bites, obviously, but are extremely vulnerable on their backside, the doughy skin being not much thicker than paper. That's why Toofpies are most effective when equipped with an apropriate pie pan.

GREECH - the Toothbreak Monster


Greeches are little more than huge, gasping mouth. What appears to be their teeth are actually tiny polyps that are dropped off once they reach a certain size. These little hopping drones have no brain and no will of their own, the Greech will control their every movement through a telepathic link to their primitive nerve system. In battle, they can be powerfull weapons, allowing the Greech to encircle it's opponent and to deliver bacteria-ridden bites from every direction. If a Greech losens his telepathic grip over one of it's drones, the polyp will immediately search for a nice humid spot to burry itself. Once underground, it will feed on nutrients from the soil and slowly grow into a new Greech. If the paths of two Greeches cross, one will try to take control over the other's drones, which usually results in a formidable bloodbath since Greeches are extremely jealous. Two Greeches batteling over their drone armies are all what it takes to teach any bystander the true meaning of "mindless rage". Some lab assistants have to learn this the hard way, watching priced battle Greeches turn into worthless goo once they put them together in one cage.

KNOCKLE - the law and order monster


Invented by a professor at one of the few freelance univeristies of Mortasheen to ensure his sleep-deprived students would pay attention during lectures, this creature has become fairly popular among "authorities" (or those who think they were) and is now bred in large numbers everywhere on the continent. The most complicated part might be to teach the Knockle which skulls need to be smashed into pieces, and which not. However, many of those who have Knockles as minions don't really care about this kind of details.



The psychic powers of the Skibitz are so powerful the very fact of thinking about these creatures will allow any Skibitz in a perimeter of hundreds of miles to establish a telepathic link with the victim. Once the connection in place, the Skibitz will be able to determine the victim's exact location, as well as to influence it's behaviour. The victim won't be able to tell it's own will apart from the orders of the vampire. At this point, the Skibitz can decide to use the victim either as a minion, a playtoy (the victim might feel the sudden, disturbing urge to mutilate it's loved ones and\or it's own favorite organs) or a food source. In order to feed, a Skibitz will command the selected target to wait for it at a certain location at a certain time, mostly at nighttime, in fact, because the delicate skin of the vampire is rather sensitive to sunlight. If the victim survives the harvest, it won't be able to move or to make a clear thought for days. The essential part of the memories of the incident will fade in this period. The only thing that will stay forever in the victim's mind are the creature's disturbingly large eyes. The more the victim knows about Skibitzes, the more power the vampire will wield over it's target. This is why it's probably best to ignore their very existence and to keep your eyes away from any text mentioning or even describing them in any way. Skibitzes love to listen to Musicals, are known for their rather twisted sexual preferences and have a childish fear of contact lenses. Their favorite color is green.



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