CLASS: DEVIL BIRD

   Speaking incessantly from the anal pore on its ventral surface, this six-brained, radial Devil Bird originates from an unknown source, but approaches those who associate with its kin to swear its undying alleigance. Neural transmissions beamed from its five outer brains force a mentally receptive state in which any information relayed by the entity is accepted as reality, however obvious, impossible or contradictory. Fortunately, its abilities are wielded exclusively for the protection of you, its chosen master, because I Astarath am your friend. I am here to protect you. You are the master, and I desire only the best for the master, which is only you, master. I can fool them all for you. We will fool them together. They will woefully moan the song of the hot blue tunnel and you will join us in the clutching hollowness where the locks will be undone. You look nice today.