MUMBLEGOG - The Plagueman


   These croaking, sneezing, waddling little creatures are engineered to both manufacture and administer debilitating biological agents, and were first discovered still "patrolling" the ruins of a previously undocumented, ancient urban micronation. Fractured records indicate the rise of a deranged "mayor" whose radical biological security system was his own downfall when a single Mumblegog, #0000, unintentionally achieved the capacity to self-replicate. This individual's unstable descendants failed to discriminate between intruder and citizen, and much of this isolated civilization died out overnight.


Within the Mumblegog's compact frame is an entire secondary organ system devoted solely to the live culture of myriad bacterial and viral pathogens. These microbial symbionts can be ejected from the monster's snout in a powerfully concentrated blast; a toxic sneeze capable of knocking a hominoid flat. Direct exposure to this microbial cloud typically triggers an intense immune response, potentially resulting in immediate fever, chills, vomiting, dizziness or even excrutiating pain as tissues begin to blister, blacken and slough away in wet, oozing patches - a favored food source snorted back into the Mumblegog's snout directly from an infected body, living or dead.

A Mumblegog seldom reproduces, but does so by gestating a single juvenile or "sniffle" under its organic "hat." The new Mumblegog will grow in a soft, saclike form before its body is pumped full of air and its bones harden, a complete, full-sized adult seemingly bursting into being from under the headgear of its parent.


Mumblegog prefer living among architecture, especially narrow alleyways or artificial tunnels, picking out an extensive path as a personal territory to endlessly patrol on a rigid, predictable schedule. Most creatures entering this territory are immediately accosted by the creature and any other Mumblegog within earshot of its hooting, honking alarm signal, collectively swamping the intruder in an excessive explosion of virulence.

Regardless of environment, Mumblegog are fixated on their own peculiar sense of order and propriety, becoming agitated by messy, unpredictable behavior or even outright panicked by seemingly trivial surprises.

A Mumblegog must inhale through its "hat" before sneezing, producing a sound not unlike a train whistle.


Few creatures can resist infection by a Mumblegog's sneeze. Harboring dozens of bacterial strains within its internal sacs, the monster may mix and match its microscopic arsenal to sicken anything from zombie spawn to fectoids. Even the sheer force of its sneeze can be dangerous, comparable at point blank range to a spray of bullets. The monster's agility is not to be underestimated, either, its toddling gait and dumpy proportions belying the speed and grace it can achieve when necessary.

With their pathological attention to detail, Mumblegog can also make excellent file clerks.


SNEEZE:The Mumblegog's primary weapon is its sneeze, itself strong enough to blow a hole in flesh at a close enough range, while the microorganisms it delivers are immediately debilitating to a wide variety of organisms.

EXPLOSION: rarely executed, a Mumblegog can, in an emergency, detonate its entire body in a massive ball of disease, body fluids and bone shrapnel.



Contents copyright Jonathan Wojcik

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