The Alolan Geodude Family

Alola's rock/electric Geodude line is unfortunately the first Alolan form I'm just not all that impressed by, perhaps because we've already had a more interesting magnetic rock type in the Nosepass line. I'll admit, however, that giant eyebrows feel like they were always missing from this rock with arms.

Alolan Graveler upgrades to a magnetic monobrow and muttonchops, which is of course even funnier. Any nonhuman with facial hair is kind of inherently amusing on some level, and here we're talking about a rock monster with facial hair. Of course that's funny. It's just too bad that this Graveler looks a little less craggy and rocky than regular, hairless Graveler.

We then arrive at Golem with a beard and a big magnet on its back, and...it's still got that funny quality, but it's also just a little too busy. I feel like either the beard or the giant magnet might be one too many things tacked on to the simplistic perfection that was Golem, and that they just didn't really know what to do with this line. I'm sincerely surprised they aren't just glowing volcanic rocks, or something, and for that matter, where the hell are Slugma and Magcargo? I know Alolan pokemon only hail from the first generation, but the magma mollusks aren't wild inhabitants of the most volcano-centric region in the whole franchise?!

Sorry guys, but beards aren't everything.