We Burn Every Day

SCP-2060 falls into the popular category of "products from another universe," and it might not be one of the most memorable of the bunch, but it's a solid entry with a lot of imagination.

The SCP itself consists of tiny little people, all physically and genetically identical to famous politicians and celebrities, but demonstrating only a rodent-like intelligence and speaking only random, known quotes from their full-size counterparts...except when they shout "Help me! Save me! Stop this!"...and a single incident we'll get to in a second.

This would be interesting enough itself, but maybe not quite by SCP Foundation standards. The real twist here is that these tiny celebrities can be smoked like cigarettes, and will die anyway if they aren't smoked in a little over a month. The fact that smoking one of them will temporarily render you a big fan or follower of theirs is interesting, but doesn't feel like a necessary detail that really goes anyway, for me. The fact that you can smoke a tiny, babbling ex-president is plenty weird and interesting enough, with the effect making almost too much extra sense.

Additional weirdness comes in the form of the cartons the little guys originally came in, and how the Surgeon General's warning includes the phrase "GANDHI SMOKED IN THE PUPA," while the "climax" of this SCP is an incident in which a Nicolas Cage escaped its enclosure and damaged some of the facility's electrical systems.

When finally caught and smoked, the little Cage went on a bizarre tirade that skirts a pretty masterful line between gibberish and insight. Phrases like "They promised us immortality! A legacy!" and "This isn't what we were told! They aren't us!" feel eye-opening, but phrases like "Shoot him again, his soul's still dancing!" are impenetrable enough that we can't tell how much, if any, of the specimen's final ravings might have any meaning. Personally, I prefer to think that none of it is nonsense, and would all make perfect sense if we knew more about the circumstances surrounding their origins. I also prefer to think these really aren't from another, alternate plane of reality at all, but from an underbelly of our own.