's Top 5 Digimon
The "DIGIMON" phenomenon began way back in 1997 with a set of portable "virtual
pets" that could link to one another and battle. At the time, an original and novel
concept. Since then, the franchise has exploded into a long line of video games and
animated series with a flourishing and
sometimes frightening fan base. Hundreds of
different monsters now inhabit the fictitious (according to sanity, anyway) digital world,
each of them able to transform into a wide range of other, sometimes completely
nonsensical creatures.

So where does bogleech, a pitifully geeky creature fansite, stand on the subject of
digital monsters? Well, there's only one person who writes this website, so by's top five digimon, I mean Jonathan Wojcik's top 5 digimon. If you don't
enjoy extremely subjective and personal lists of extremely stupid things, I'm not sure
what you're doing on the internet to begin with.
If you often neglected to clean up after the original Digimon virtual pet, the buildup of
virtual excrement could sometimes be enough to corrupt its evolution, resulting in this
pitiful, frail slug-creature rather than the large and fearsome beast you were supposed
to desire. Delightfully, Numemon's primary mode of defense is to produce and fling the
very substance that created it.

                                        COOLEST EVOLUTIONS:
Numemon can begin life as any number of entirely different monsters, which actually
become weaker in taking on this slimy form. Luckily, if you take good care of your new
Numemon, you may end up with its original and most official evolution,
Monzaemon, a
giant teddy bear controlled by "something mysterious that entered its body,"
presumably a Numemon that was sick of getting stepped on. Alternatively, it can just
get larger and sillier in the form of
Black King Numemon, which in turn becomes the
utterly insane
Platinum Numemon. It should also be mentioned that Numemon has a
shelled variant,
Karatsukinumemon (awesome teeth and eyes!) with roughly the
same evolutions.
Yeah, just in case you weren't familiar with this nonsense, every single digital monster
has a name that ends with "mon." It feels natural after a while. Created the exact same
way as Numemon, Sukamon takes things one step further by actually being a giant,
sentient pile of the worst possible thing to be a giant, sentient pile of; with funky teeth
and gnarly arms for good measure. Too stupid to function on its own, this 'mon is
almost never seen without a tiny, symbiotic
Chuumon riding its head, presumably the
brains of the duo.

Though it shares many other evolutions with Numemon, Sukamon cannot digivolve into
Monzaemon, but can sometimes become its incredibly bad-ass counterpart,
Warumonzaemon. Its more common evolution, however, is the extremely ridiculous
Etemon, a stuffed monkey with a rock-star persona. What happens to a Chuumon
when its Sukamon evolves? Is it absorbed? Does it just hang out? It's worth mentioning
that Chuumon itself can
also evolve into Sukamon, as well as good old Numemon!
Robots and dinosaurs aren't the only reason creepy little boys enjoy Digimon; nor the
only reason creepy 20-something webmasters enjoy Digimon.

There are many things this interesting monster can evolve from, including such spooks
Dokugumon and Soulmon, but I'd personally have to go with the equally albeit
more innocently
interesting Witchmon. As for what comes after Ladydevimon, you
might want to put the kids to bed before
Lilithmon shows up.

Yeah, your six year old's favorite japanime card game carries references to a
mythological whore. Or an owl, depending on who you ask. It's kind of confusing.
....Let's keep this between you and me.
Now we're getting into my real favorites, with a monster I've adored since it debuted in
the first season of the original anime series. Oozing heaps of filth are one of my all-time
favorite categories of monster, and Raremon is just about as cool looking as a filth
heap can get! A gruesome, legless blob of rotting flesh with incredibly freaky eyeballs,
there's nothing about this garbage-crusted, acid-spitting abomination that I don't love.

There are many, many digimon that take on a cybernetic or robotic form as they evolve,
and Raremon, creatively, is explained in official lore as a mechanized evolution gone
hideously wrong; its decaying body held between life and death only by its unnatural
machine elements.

Raremon most "officially" evolves from the bunny-like Gazimon or toad-like Gizamon,
neither of which I'm particularly fond of, but another, more entertaining option
(according to the trading card game) is once again
Chuumon, making it the one
"rookie" stage Digimon I'd most prefer to be stuck with. You don't mess with a
demented pink rat that can suddenly erupt into a giant, barfing tumor

As for post-Raremon, its most direct evolution takes after the other "failure" monsters
(Numemon, Sukamon) by being a giant plush doll, the saurian
Extyrannomon. It's an
interesting theme that all these slimy trash-critters mutate into colorful toys. The very
Garbagemon is another option however, along with the tentacled martian,
Vademon. Personally though, I'd have to turn mine into Datamon, for reasons that will
explain shortly.
If Raremon is one of my favorite monster archetypes, then Parasimon is the rest of
them! It's an arthropod, it's a brain parasite, it's a giant eyeball and it even has slimy,
green tentacles! Though physically frail, the touch of its tendrils can invade the mind of
any creature - human or digimon - and bend them to bug-eyed horror's will. It debuted in
the sixth Digimon film, "Runaway Locomon," wherein one of the crafty creatures
hijacked the titular freight-train monster. In the English dub, this particular Parasimon
had an amusingly incongruous southern accent and cowboy persona, while others of its
species were hyperactive, giggling lunatics. To be honest, however, Raremon and
Parasimon are closely tied for my first, and I like Rare's design most of all.

As a mega-level digimon, Parasimon doesn't evolve at all; it's top of the line! Of its
possible predecessors, the two most esthetically fitting are the lovely
Arukenimon and
Anomalocarimon, though it can also emerge inexplicably from the Halloween-themed
Pumpkinmon, of all things. Do the writers read my mind, or something? The answer is
most likely that yes, yes they do, because Parasimon
also has not one, but two
possible links to none other than
Raremon! Both Datamon and Shogungekomon can
evolve from the rotten globster and into this crawling eye. Of the two, I'd have to pick
Datamon as the more suitable, since it shares both Raremon's cybernetic traits and
Parasimon's infectious abilities.

So now you know my favorite damn digital monsters, giving you the dumbest possible
window into my psychology. Incidentally, I like to collect the "mini figure" merchandise,
but I have neither Raremon nor Parasimon in plastic form, so do
drop me a line if you
can hook me up.