The "DIGIMON" phenomenon began way back in 1997 with a set of portable "virtual pets" that could link to one another and battle. At the time, an original and novel concept. Since then, the franchise has exploded into a long line of video games and animated series with a flourishing and sometimes frightening fan base. Hundreds of different monsters now inhabit the fictitious (according to sanity, anyway) digital world, each of them able to transform into a wide range of other, sometimes completely nonsensical creatures.
So where does bogleech, a pitifully geeky creature fansite, stand on the subject of digital monsters? Well, there's only one person who writes this website, so by bogleech.com's top five digimon, I mean Jonathan Wojcik's top 5 digimon. If you don't enjoy extremely subjective and personal lists of extremely stupid things, I'm not sure what you're doing on the internet to begin with.
If you often neglected to clean up after the original Digimon virtual pet, the buildup of virtual excrement could sometimes be enough to corrupt its evolution, resulting in this pitiful, frail slug-creature rather than the large and fearsome beast you were supposed to desire. Delightfully, Numemon's primary mode of defense is to produce and fling the very substance that created it.
COOLEST EVOLUTIONS: Numemon can begin life as any number of entirely different monsters, which actually become weaker in taking on this slimy form. Luckily, if you take good care of your new Numemon, you may end up with its original and most official evolution, Monzaemon, a giant teddy bear controlled by "something mysterious that entered its body," presumably a Numemon that was sick of getting stepped on. Alternatively, it can just get larger and sillier in the form of Black King Numemon, which in turn becomes the utterly insane Platinum Numemon. It should also be mentioned that Numemon has a shelled variant, Karatsukinumemon (awesome teeth and eyes!) with roughly the same evolutions.
Yeah, just in case you weren't familiar with this nonsense, every single digital monster has a name that ends with "mon." It feels natural after a while. Created the exact same way as Numemon, Sukamon takes things one step further by actually being a giant, sentient pile of the worst possible thing to be a giant, sentient pile of; with funky teeth and gnarly arms for good measure. Too stupid to function on its own, this 'mon is almost never seen without a tiny, symbiotic Chuumon riding its head, presumably the brains of the duo.
COOLEST EVOLUTIONS: Though it shares many other evolutions with Numemon, Sukamon cannot digivolve into Monzaemon, but can sometimes become its incredibly bad-ass counterpart, Warumonzaemon. Its more common evolution, however, is the extremely ridiculous Etemon, a stuffed monkey with a rock-star persona. What happens to a Chuumon when its Sukamon evolves? Is it absorbed? Does it just hang out? It's worth mentioning that Chuumon itself can also evolve into Sukamon, as well as good old Numemon!
Robots and dinosaurs aren't the only reason creepy little boys enjoy Digimon; nor the only reason creepy 20-something webmasters enjoy Digimon. Hurhur.
COOLEST EVOLUTIONS: There are many things this interesting monster can evolve from, including such spooks as Dokugumon and Soulmon, but I'd personally have to go with the equally albeit more innocently interesting Witchmon. As for what comes after Ladydevimon, you might want to put the kids to bed before Lilithmon shows up.
Yeah, your six year old's favorite japanime card game carries references to a mythological whore. Or an owl, depending on who you ask. It's kind of confusing.
Now we're getting into my real favorites, with a monster I've adored since it debuted in the first season of the original anime series. Oozing heaps of filth are one of my all-time favorite categories of monster, and Raremon is just about as cool looking as a filth heap can get! A gruesome, legless blob of rotting flesh with incredibly freaky eyeballs, there's nothing about this garbage-crusted, acid-spitting abomination that I don't love.
There are many, many digimon that take on a cybernetic or robotic form as they evolve, and Raremon, creatively, is explained in official lore as a mechanized evolution gone hideously wrong; its decaying body held between life and death only by its unnatural machine elements.
COOLEST EVOLUTIONS: Raremon most "officially" evolves from the bunny-like Gazimon or toad-like Gizamon, neither of which I'm particularly fond of, but another, more entertaining option (according to the trading card game) is once again Chuumon, making it the one "rookie" stage Digimon I'd most prefer to be stuck with. You don't mess with a demented pink rat that can suddenly erupt into a giant, barfing tumor
As for post-Raremon, its most direct evolution takes after the other "failure" monsters (Numemon, Sukamon) by being a giant plush doll, the saurian Extyrannomon. It's an interesting theme that all these slimy trash-critters mutate into colorful toys. The very appropriate Garbagemon is another option however, along with the tentacled martian, Vademon. Personally though, I'd have to turn mine into Datamon, for reasons that will explain shortly.
If Raremon is one of my favorite monster archetypes, then Parasimon is the rest of them! It's an arthropod, it's a brain parasite, it's a giant eyeball and it even has slimy, green tentacles! Though physically frail, the touch of its tendrils can invade the mind of any creature - human or digimon - and bend them to bug-eyed horror's will. It debuted in the sixth Digimon film, "Runaway Locomon," wherein one of the crafty creatures hijacked the titular freight-train monster. In the English dub, this particular Parasimon had an amusingly incongruous southern accent and cowboy persona, while others of its species were hyperactive, giggling lunatics. To be honest, however, Raremon and Parasimon are closely tied for my first, and I like Rare's design most of all.
COOLEST EVOLUTIONS: As a mega-level digimon, Parasimon doesn't evolve at all; it's top of the line! Of its possible predecessors, the two most esthetically fitting are the lovely Arukenimon and Anomalocarimon, though it can also emerge inexplicably from the Halloween-themed Pumpkinmon, of all things. Do the writers read my mind, or something? The answer is most likely that yes, yes they do, because Parasimon also has not one, but two possible links to none other than Raremon! Both Datamon and Shogungekomon can evolve from the rotten globster and into this crawling eye. Of the two, I'd have to pick Datamon as the more suitable, since it shares both Raremon's cybernetic traits and Parasimon's infectious abilities.
So now you know my favorite damn digital monsters, giving you the dumbest possible window into my psychology. Incidentally, I like to collect the "mini figure" merchandise, but I have neither Raremon nor Parasimon in plastic form, so do drop me a line if you can hook me up.