| 101 Monster "Jokes" |
This cute little book has some pretty awesome cover art. I love the little eyeball dude,
naturally, and the egg-shaped monster is eerily similar to one of my own designs, in a good
way. The actual content of the book, however, is either disappointingly or artfully
unfortunate. Let me transcribe some of the "best" monster "jokes" therein:
naturally, and the egg-shaped monster is eerily similar to one of my own designs, in a good
way. The actual content of the book, however, is either disappointingly or artfully
unfortunate. Let me transcribe some of the "best" monster "jokes" therein:
Why did the monster eat Cleveland, skip over Akron, and then eat Pittsburgh?
He didn't want to eat between meals!
What do you call a vampire who bites people when they aren't looking?
Shy!
What would you get if you crossed a mummy with a necktie?
A Christmas present for dad that's already wrapped!
What's a monster's favorite movie?
Scar Wars!
How do you tell if there's a monster in your sandwich?
It's too heavy to lift!
What did the monster say after he ate Cleveland?
What's for dinner?
A monster woke up at midnight in a terrible temper. "Where's my supper?" he yelled.
Where are my gwepel cakes? Where's my glardl soup? Where's my klagzok with
meatballs?" "Now take it easy," his wife replied, "can't you see I only have six hands?"
What's the difference between a monster and peanut butter?
The monster doesn't stick to the roof of your mouth!
Young monster: Ma, can I eat New York City?
Mother Monster: Not unless you wash your hands first!
Did you hear the story of the monster who ate Cleveland?
Nevermind...you'd never swallow it!
First monster: Have an accident?
Second monster: No thanks, I just had one!
A monster landed on Earth and the first thing he saw was a robin pulling an earthworm
out of the ground. "Use a napkin," cried the monster, "or you'll get that spaghetti all
over your vest!"
I really want to know what's up with all the ones that just sort of describe monsters
eating cities without an actual "joke,"
He didn't want to eat between meals!
What do you call a vampire who bites people when they aren't looking?
Shy!
What would you get if you crossed a mummy with a necktie?
A Christmas present for dad that's already wrapped!
What's a monster's favorite movie?
Scar Wars!
How do you tell if there's a monster in your sandwich?
It's too heavy to lift!
What did the monster say after he ate Cleveland?
What's for dinner?
A monster woke up at midnight in a terrible temper. "Where's my supper?" he yelled.
Where are my gwepel cakes? Where's my glardl soup? Where's my klagzok with
meatballs?" "Now take it easy," his wife replied, "can't you see I only have six hands?"
What's the difference between a monster and peanut butter?
The monster doesn't stick to the roof of your mouth!
Young monster: Ma, can I eat New York City?
Mother Monster: Not unless you wash your hands first!
Did you hear the story of the monster who ate Cleveland?
Nevermind...you'd never swallow it!
First monster: Have an accident?
Second monster: No thanks, I just had one!
A monster landed on Earth and the first thing he saw was a robin pulling an earthworm
out of the ground. "Use a napkin," cried the monster, "or you'll get that spaghetti all
over your vest!"
I really want to know what's up with all the ones that just sort of describe monsters
eating cities without an actual "joke,"