YOU:

I'm uh.....I'm just another patient. I think.

...Do you even have kidneys?

RUNNY NOSE:

Kidzawhats?

YOU:

Never mind. So um. Nose. I'm looking for a little b......a thing like me, but small?

RUNNY NOSE:

Wike you? No, I seen things wike pawts of you awound.

YOU:

I...see. Can you tell me about the staff here?

RUNNY NOSE:

Oh! They'we wondewfuw! If you go back in you'we woom I'm suwe the nuwse wiww get awound to you some day. Maybe she can even fix how gwoss you'we face wooks.

YOU:

I'll keep that mind. Is that your medicine on the counter? Is that what you need?

RUNNY NOSE:

That's gas piwws. They got weft hewe by accident. You can have them if you can find me something fow aww these awfuw kidney stones! They'we evewywhewe! Evewy time I tuwn awound, dewe's anothew one waffing at me!!!

I CAN'T GET ANY GAWWDDAM SWEEP WITH THAT WACKET!!!!

YOU:

uhhh....kaaay.......so...what can you tell me about this place?

RUNNY NOSE:

Oh! Sowwy fow my outbuwst. This is the hospitaw, of couwse!

YOU:

...Yeah, but, which hospital?

RUNNY NOSE:

...dewe's two hospitaws?!

YOU:

...No. Forget it. But uh, where is this...I mean "the" hospital...located?

RUNNY NOSE:

Uh???

YOU:

...where would I be if I went outside right now?

RUNNY NOSE:

....out.....siiiiiiiiide?

YOU:

...name a place that isn't the hospital.

RUNNY NOSE:

A pwace that's WHAT!?!

...That's WHAT!? A pwace that's WHAT!?! WHAT!?!?

YOU:

Sorry! Sorry! Can you tell me abou-

RUNNY NOSE:

A PWACE THAT'S WHAT!!?!?!