>GREET QUERY

SLOBFERN (Translated from Slobese)

Hi, Query. Yes, there have been some...problems...with your Hospital. We're doing our best, but we need all the help we can get.


QUERY

........Well. These are quite lovely gibberish noises from what I presently perceive as an empty space, but may I address the microentities presently hovering within that space?


QUEEN MAYA CELIA

Sure can, hon! Our ship here was just saying the hospital is kind of a mess right now. Terrible shape. Bad in such a manner that it just about inspires awe, if there were only a convenient word for that.

Staphie, what's a word for something "full" of "awe," in a bad way?

C0-QUEEN DOCTOR STAPHANIE CELIA

"Sucks."


QUEEN MAYA CELIA

Yeah it SUCKS!


QUERY

...Correct. I believe that's...well established. I believe also that your observable bioparameters correlate to grey-zone necrobiota and your physical configuration is interpretable as seated before a manual control interface. Given the data I've extracted regarding a grey-zone existohazard, you are operating out of an anomalously recontextualized human patient cadaver, am I correct?


QUEEN MAYA CELIA

Yeah that's pretty much close enough I suppose.


QUERY

Mhmm. Can the smarter one adjust warm-spectrum vibrational frequency from a 112-475 range to 111.9-474.6?


QUEEN MAYA CELIA

Yes but I'll let Staphie do it, she's closer to the button.


C0-QUEEN DOCTOR STAPHANIE CELIA

Already did, and thanks ma'am.


QUERY

Aha, yes, there's the patient-vessel, only moderately blurry. What is your designation?


SLOBFERN (Translated from Slobese)

Yes, I'm Fern, if you mean you can see and understand me now.


QUERY

Ah. So it does talk. I am afraid my access to this information is imperfect, but I can see that you have had a troubling experience with our services, Fern, and as warm and cozy as I now realize it was in an insensate void of nonexistence, I am here to help. My intended functions lie in the management, retrieval, and delivery of knowledge; what your kind might describe as a teacher and librarian. This would be of benefit to you, I presume?


SLOBFERN (Translated from Slobese)

Absolutely. Chip has been a big help, but he's also said there were supposed to be a lot more of you.


QUERY

Correct. His intended functions are more technical and his sphere poorly adapted for the pressure of consistent social interaction. Had you chosen any other task before restoring any of my functionality, he would hardly have lasted another forty-one layers before his stability degraded to an extreme you have seemingly already observed in our unfortunate brother Crash...poor thing... only meant to deal with games.

What would have befallen Chip had you left him in a customer service position would be rather more challenging to quantify for you, and exceedingly more disturbing to your constitution.


SLOBFERN (Translated from Slobese)

Good...good to know...

Does this mean you'll be online in the rest of the Hospital? We were trying to get the system back up and running for the Maternity Ward and the Food Court.



QUERY

Mixed. By relieving Chip of some unnecessary strain and exchanging what data we can, I can get him up and running in more facilities. However, I can deduce an undesirable outcome if I myself were to extend my network from here into the Hospital; exposure to both was more than likely another deteriorating factor in Crash's perception.

You will have to posit your queries to me while you are here. You should also note that the questions you have already asked me have used 10% of your current data allotment. Data allotment resets automatically upon layer 1,100.

Posit questions you would like to ask me, and I will update this layer with their data costs before we proceed.

If this is acceptable, what would you like to know?








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