>Tell your tale in appropriate lingo
So this fungus calls herself a princess and wants to know about your "quest"...but you're not so sure she's a fan of Doctor Balmer, if she even knows who that is. Maybe you just have to explain this the right way...
CELIA:
What manner of quest interests a worm?
{It's going to be one of those days, isn't it...}
What manner of quest interests a worm?
{It's going to be one of those days, isn't it...}
YOU:
...I'm not...I mean...I don't belong here. I got here from a very different world, and I don't even belong there either. I just want to go home, but a....
....wizard?...
....Won't send me back without finding his...uh...his umm...er...
...I'm not...I mean...I don't belong here. I got here from a very different world, and I don't even belong there either. I just want to go home, but a....
....wizard?...
....Won't send me back without finding his...uh...his umm...er...
CELIA:
...Treasure! Of course! You seek a magnificent treasure!
{At least, you'd damn well better be}
...Treasure! Of course! You seek a magnificent treasure!
{At least, you'd damn well better be}
YOU:
...YEAH! I mean...you could say that, I guess. The, uh, wizard couldn't really tell me what it was I was looking fo-
...YEAH! I mean...you could say that, I guess. The, uh, wizard couldn't really tell me what it was I was looking fo-
CELIA:
SECRET TREASURE! My very SPECIALITY!
{I hope this thing's as delusional as it sounds...}
SECRET TREASURE! My very SPECIALITY!
{I hope this thing's as delusional as it sounds...}
YOU:
Heh, you got it. So secret he couldn't even tell me where the hell to look, either.
Heh, you got it. So secret he couldn't even tell me where the hell to look, either.
CELIA:
A challenging venture indeed! No wonder you dared seek my legendary expertise! Your resolve is almost admirable, for a mere worm!
{Balmer's really getting desperate...this must be bigger than I thought.}
A challenging venture indeed! No wonder you dared seek my legendary expertise! Your resolve is almost admirable, for a mere worm!
{Balmer's really getting desperate...this must be bigger than I thought.}
YOU:
Right! Yeah! He did suggest I find some sort of "community" about East of here, do you know what he could have meant?
Right! Yeah! He did suggest I find some sort of "community" about East of here, do you know what he could have meant?
CELIA:
Of course! I know it well! Alas, you will never find a more loathsome nest of riffraff and knavery. You have chosen your companionship wisely!
{Guess he's sick of sending his own goons off to die...}
Of course! I know it well! Alas, you will never find a more loathsome nest of riffraff and knavery. You have chosen your companionship wisely!
{Guess he's sick of sending his own goons off to die...}
YOU:
So you'll show me the way?!
So you'll show me the way?!
CELIA:
Naturally! Not for free, mind you.
{Reel it in, Celia!}
Naturally! Not for free, mind you.
{Reel it in, Celia!}
YOU:
Oh...r...right...keratin was it? Is this worth much?
Oh...r...right...keratin was it? Is this worth much?
You bring the monster's attention to your hair. At least, the back poof.
CELIA:
That's what I smell! What kind of beast grows keratin from flesh!? Now I know you're no normal worm!
{HAH! How'd a bloody CHORDATE get here!?}
That's what I smell! What kind of beast grows keratin from flesh!? Now I know you're no normal worm!
{HAH! How'd a bloody CHORDATE get here!?}
YOU:
It's all yours, if you can help me get out of here.
It's all yours, if you can help me get out of here.
CELIA:
Such unwormly generosity! You have my word as both royalty and rogue!
{That briny bucket of bolts had better be onto something good...}
Such unwormly generosity! You have my word as both royalty and rogue!
{That briny bucket of bolts had better be onto something good...}
CELIA HAS JOINED THE QUEST
CELIA:
{It occurs to me, for no particular reason, to reflect at this unremarkable moment how thankful I am that non-fungal sentiences, under natural circumstances, cannot read the detailed, carefully worded internal monologues inherent to all of us proper fungi throughout the layers of reality. Especially fungi with secrets as insidious as I, LADY CELIA! BANDIT PRINCESS OF THE GLADE!!!
GWA HA HA HA!!!}
{It occurs to me, for no particular reason, to reflect at this unremarkable moment how thankful I am that non-fungal sentiences, under natural circumstances, cannot read the detailed, carefully worded internal monologues inherent to all of us proper fungi throughout the layers of reality. Especially fungi with secrets as insidious as I, LADY CELIA! BANDIT PRINCESS OF THE GLADE!!!
GWA HA HA HA!!!}
