BACTERIUM DOCTOR:

Oh my! You're injured! Please, come in! Sit right down!!


The doctor gestures urgently to the soft, fungous cushion in the middle of the room, speaking in a gentle, grandmotherly voice. Everything looks moist and smells like yeast. You remember the bartender's words about the phlegm baths.

YOU:

Oh, uh...I don't know if...I mean, I'm...


BACTERIUM DOCTOR:

Multicellular animal life, yes! Don't you worry sweetie, we'll get you some pure antiseptic and a cloth dressing on that!