"s 2015 Horror Write-off:

" Not So Handy "

Submitted by Sam Swigart (

Not So Handy

Patient No. 28451947 Written Report

 The doctors told me to write a detailed account of what happened before the… incident. I know they think I’m crazy, they probably think I’m a schizo who can’t tell the difference between reality and fantasy.I don’t care, I’ll tell them what happened. It will only make them see me as more crazy, but I’ll still tell them every detail of how that thing went crazy.

 It all started 3 weeks ago. Well, it really started 2 months ago, with the car crash. I was driving home after a long day of work, I worked overtime for a big report about our energy budget or something stupid, when someone ignored the red light and hit me from the side. I remember looking into his eyes and seeing pure red, like he had been drinking so much, he could barely see at all. He didn’t do much to the car, he broke the driver door and the left head light, but he managed to knock me unconscious and pin my left arm in the wreckage. I still had the arm, but from something about the nerves in my head and my lobes, the doctors determined it’d be basically useless. I got to get off work for a month and got several get well cards from friends, coworkers, and family. I could still work due to right arm being relatively unharmed, but it was still very slow.

 Three weeks ago I was eating dinner, when I noticed something was tapping my leg. I thought that it was the dog asking for a treat, as it would always beg during dinnertime, but the dog was in the kitchen at the time. I looked and discovered that the source of the tapping was actually my left hand! I freaked out and, after calming down, called my doctor’s office and tried to get an urgent meeting, but they were booked for 2 days. During the 2 days, my hand started twitching more, grabbing stress balls or paper clips at work, and grabbing food or boxes at home. When I went to the doctor, I told him everything that had happened for the last 2 days. He said that it might be the brain trying to send signals to the arm, and that it should subside. He also told me to have a Psychologist check it out and see if there’s anything else that it could be. I told him I would and looked for some good Psychologists in the area, but they were all very expensive and my doctor did say the twitches and erratic motion would subside, so I let it go. Unfortunately, my doctor was wrong when he said it would subside, and it actually got worse, typing random gibberish and smacking my desk or table loudly. It got to the point where I would duct tape my arm to my side to prevent it from doing things.

 Then about 4 days ago, I went to my parents’ house for thanksgiving. My mom, dad, and my sister were all there. I had a great time, and almost forgot about my hand taped to my hip. On the second night, however, I woke up to see my hand holding a knife, pointed at my chest. I wondered where it could have got the knife, (still being terrified of course) and realized I put my pocket knife on the nightstand beside my bed. I freaked out and tried to grab the knife, and throw it away. My parents heard the commotion, and came in to see me wrestling my own hand for a knife. My dad tried to stop me and was about to grab my arms when my left hand stabbed him in the chest. he paused and before he could do anything else, my hand pushed him onto the floor. My mom called 911, the police and ambulance came, and I’m sure you can guess the rest. I was tried, and proven not guilty of conspiracy to kill due to insanity.

 Patient No. 28451947 - Alec D.

Diagnosis: Alien Hand Syndrome