|Halloween 2007: July & August finds
It's that time of year again! Will I top the insane discoveries of 2006? Will I ever buy a better
camera? Find out as I once again expand my collection of Halloween merchandise from the end of
July to the beginning November!
My first major purchase of the year, this Halloween jack-in-the-box isn't physically very impressive
at all, resembling something I could probably make by hand for half the cost; but I just had to take it
home when I discovered the music it plays:
|-Bug-eyed animal flashlights-
The only other thing I felt like picking up from Michael's, these great little plastic cats and
rats have bright, light-up eyeballs to make their crazed expressions even freakier.
|-Awesome Cackling Undead-
The coolest Halloween toy line I've ran across in years, these hollow rubber figures are over
nine inches tall and laugh menacingly when squeezed - with light-up eyes! It's simple, it's
pointless, and it's fucking awesome. My personal favorite is the rancid green mummy, but the
reaper is objectively the coolest as a year-round novelty item. Send one to your favorite senior!
|July 31 - Michael's Craft Store
|Who wants to bet that they were in no way licensed to use Ghostbusters?
There is nothing to say that could possibly enhance your experience looking at this.
This cute litte wooden sign (which refuses to photograph clearly) may appear mundane
until the words "skull crossing" have a chance to sink in.
"Skeleton crossing" would make a reasonable amount of sense in the Halloween context,
but what the hell kind of place would you need to watch out for fleshless, disembodied head
traffic?! Do you even really want to slow down or stop in such a place?
|-Sparkly Haunted Tree Candleholder-
There's nothing really entertaining about this guy, but I decided to include him for the sake of
completeness. I've always liked spooky, haunted trees and you don't see too many of them as
figurines on their own; they're usually pushed to the background for other, more popular monsters.
|August 21st - Back to Marshall's
What's not to love about these carefree cadavers who so flamboyantly prance through the
air on their leathery mutant wings? So joyful, their colors blind my camera under every
|August 23rd - Back to Marshall's...again
I honestly tried to avoid this. "I have more than enough pumpkin-headed figurines", I told
myself. "He's really not that exciting on his own", I'd say...but the male counterpart to my
more terrifying Marshall's find kept nagging at my brain until I finally caved in and reunited
the ghastly couple. The best part is how he has a much smaller head than his lovely wife but
a somewhat larger hat.
This year, petco offers a series of three soft, squeaky corpses breaking out of soft,
squeaky coffins. Unfortunately, they only come in mummy, vampire and Frankenstein's
monster flavor - no skeletons, despite how obvious that would be, how much cooler
looking that would be and the fact that a skeleton has far more business in a coffin than
Frank's or an egyptian pharaoh.
If you're a dog and you're tired of dropping your ghost eyes in the shower, your worries are
over! These have no official name, but I'm calling them ghost eyes on account of their adorable
pointy ghost-butts. Cutting them free from their rope has turned out to be something I slightly
regret - I really should have just hung them up the way they are - but you can't beat hollow
latex ghost-eyes even with gaping holes on top.
The purple one is the only one without a mouth, unless the giant eyeball is the mouth and
those little purple dots on top are its real eyes...I like that idea. The more I think about it, the
more intentional it seems. What else would those dots be?
This is one of those stuffed toys with a pull-string that causes it to vibrate, which normally just
spin in place or wander aimlessly when placed on a hard, flat surface. Not so with Zip-along
ghost. Zip-along ghost knows exactly where he's going. I like to think they hired NASA
physicists to make sure these guys always move forward.
Have you ever seen anyone so happy to be trapped between life and death?
I can always count on some cool figures from Joann, and these may be their neatest
contributions yet. Ten inches tall with deranged faces, wicked bony hands, elaborate outfits and
poseable wire arms, there isn't much more you can ask for in a decorative figurine. Here are
the ones I did not buy. The pumpkin is the clear winner (those pants are even SHINIER in
person) but I also got the mummy because I like mummies. If I go for another one, it's obviously
going to be monocle-carrying Frankenstein's monster.
Or is he just a zombie? I don't see any neck-bolts, unless they're hiding under his fabulous giant
Ross is yet another store that shares its stock with Marshall's and TJMaxx, but with a fair share of
its own exclusive items like this totally snazzy porcelain witch-spider, cooking up some SERIOUS
juju with his necklace of human skulls. He even points right at us as he tweaks his hat, as if to say
"you're next, boy!" in what is most likely a heavy Cajun accent.
Or maybe we've just come to a crossroads and he's offering some sage advice before we part
ways. Reminding us to "keep it real", perhaps, or even warning us to watch out for his uncle Kurt, the
gumbo vendor. The less said about uncle Kurt's gumbo, the better.
Also note the difference in size between the skulls around his neck and the skull on his back. Either
one of them belonged to a giant, or the rest belonged to babies.
|-Giant Spider Witch-doctor-